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[JoystickHero]

Really?  You passed up an opportunity to say "Urist McNugget"?

Oh, damn, so sigged.

I can't count adventure mode, since I can break every limb in someone's body quite trivially, but I remember back when I was working on my first mega-construction, I had a miner get caught by a one-square cave-in. She was flung six spaces away onto a boulder. I checked her wounds, expecting to have lost my best miner. The diagnosis was better than I expected. Brown and gray over most of her body, including, and these were my exact words "FUCK, a brown brain." Plus, she was unconscious, and had a yellow lung to boot.

I checked to see if I had a hospital bed, and kept an eye on her, so that I'd know she got inside OK. It was only then that I unpaused. Urist McLadyminer stood up. "Ok, good, she can get to her ro-" Urist McLadyminer retrieved her pick. "Huh. Interesting." Urist McLadyminer is walking in the opposite direction of her bedroom. ...Urist McLadyminer has job "Dig".

Joystick Hero cancels task Play Dwarf Fortress: Manly Tears

[Flying Carcass]

I'm only on my second fortress, so I don't have some of the awesome stories saved up that you guys do (yet...) but I just got besieged by goblins - sent my army out to meet them... then after routing them got a message "Urist McDwarf, Glassworker has been struck down." Hmm, I don't *remember* assigning a glassworker to be butchered...

Turns out there was a second squad attacking from the other direction! Their diversionary tactics succeeded, and the fortress guard (died) held them off until my faster military dwarfs could get back. One of my marksdwarfs survived with his only injuries being in melee against a goblin lasher. He lost both eyes. I promoted him to Captain of the Guard after the fight was over.

Justice is blind. 

[Toxicles]

Craziest injury I ever saw was, incidentally, not a dwarf.  A goblin ambush that turned out to be of epic proportions started with a trio of goblin axemen that ended up running into my war dogs by chance.

First one marched up to my trade depot at the same time as one of my war dogs.  I imagine they just kind of looked at each other for a moment across the depot as if it were some kind of arena or something.  Then the dog pounced on the goblin, ripped off its left leg, then proceeded to bite his face off, tear off his right food and left hand, and start throwing blood, chunks, and body parts all over the place.  I didn't even know that could happen, but by the time the dog was done, the depot was red with blood.

Before it died, there wasn't a part of the goblin that WASN'T injured.  I'm talking, everything at least yellow.  Lung, pancreas, limbs, missing digits.  That dog was like some dog god or something.

The battle ended up involving like 40 goblins overall against my like 6 war dogs and 9 military dwarves.  We won, but there were missing toes all over the damn place.  Interestingly enough, only two dwarves and three dogs actually died.

[Biag]

In the first year of my current fortress, I was digging out a skylight to avoid cave adaptation. I'm not good with cave-ins, so naturally I forgot that floors wouldn't be supported over a diagonal... one of my starting seven, a miner of course, fell four z-levels and mangled every single one of her limbs and her upper spine. She healed before anyone could even retrieve her.

I fear there is a mutant in my fortress.

[Heliman]

I remember my most horrifying one, partially because I couldn't believe it was still alive. One of my hunters was mauled by a dragon and lost both his arms and legs.

I renamed him Stubby.

[Lord Shonus]

A kobold thief killed one of my champions once by cutting off his head.

[A-chana]

-My farmer was out hunting wolves when one got the upper hand on him and mangled his lower body and guts. Doesn't that count as entrails shooting out of the wound, too? If so, then yeah, that was messy.

-Any time someone gets their throat "lopped off" and they get to run around in a panic for a while. Doubly so when two of my Champions were lost this way in my first goblin ambush.

-An elite hammerman/champion wrestler met a kobold indoors. He hit her so hard that when she hit a wall, she splattered, losing all four limbs and her head. For the record, Dwarf Companion seems to show no injuries to her torso, so she died when she hit the wall (her body parts were all in the same spot) and likely had suffered a mangled limb or head right before then.

-Forgot about this: An unarmed, berserk dwarf managed to mangle another one's heart (and upper body, of course). I like to think he pulled it out a bit. Unlike the many creatures that received blows from bolts that mangled both lungs and the heart, then panicked and ran out bleeding, this poor dwarf just fell unconscious immediately and bled out after a while.

[Supercharazad]

I still want to see someone's heart get ripped out.

Go to the RAWS and then to body_default.exe then find all the organs and add [EMBEDDED] to them, then all organs can be gouged out just like eyes in wresteling, very funny when you kill a hammerlord by ripping his heart out then slowly tearing every other intenel organ out, very funny indeed.

Also, on a side-note, the TC misspelt "hillarious"

[Julius Clonkus]

Not a dwarven injury, but I remember a ratman being mauled by my woodworker who I activated when it first went after him. I thought it was dead so I deactivated him again. Turns out it wasn't dead; it was lying in its own blood. Unconscious, in severe pain, with a shattered head and a mangled left hand. The guy I was chatting with at the moment told me to put it out of its misery, so I sent my military over to finish the job.
I nearly laughed my ass off when the first soldier to arrive on-site proceeded to grind its appendages into a bloody mush. By the time it finally died it had at least 7 red and 2 yellow wounds. And a lot of other bruised body parts.

Suffice to say, the second ratman who proceeded to mourn its corpse had an unfortunate accident when my miner came for a drink.

[Fishbulb]

It's not technically an injury, and I guess it's not technically horrifying, but it was both amusing and frustrating.

A recent (failed) fort embarked in a swamp. The ground was totally flat, with tons of little pools and ponds. One of these ponds happened to be exactly one square big, and right next to my entrance.

The first orc siege came, but they were weak and my hammerdwarves handled them. I sent out my haulers to recover anything made of metal, and was surprised by about a million "job cancelled: interrupted by orc wrestler" messages.

Turns out there was an orc wrestler in that little one-square pond, totally unwounded. Guess he dodged into it or something. It was only 5/7 full of water at that time, so I guess it was about waist-deep for him. I couldn't think of a way that was both dwarven and convenient of finishing him off, so I decided to just forbid everything around him and wait for him to starve to death.

Turns out orcs don't starve to death. Ever.

Turns out they don't drown either, at least not when treading water in a pond, because he stayed there for no less than a year and a half. The second winter after the siege was a harsh one, and the pond froze solid. I hoped to find his corpse embedded in the ice, but alas, he just vanished. I wasn't looking when the freeze came, so I don't know whether he got atom-smashed or something, or whether he climbed out of the pond and skulked off the map.

[Shurikane]

During a megabeast siege, I sealed my fortress as I figured I could not take on the creature immediately.  Meanwhile, migrants arrived.  They'd starve by the time I'd kill the beast, so I drafted them all and sicced 'em on the monster.

The monster, of course, wiped them all out.  Except one.  By some glitch, he began beating on the last dwarf... and didn't stop.

For two years.

The beast was eventually disturbed by goblins, at which point it left its limbo-dwarf behind, who proceeded to bleed to death a minute later.

[dAGNARUS]

I was channeling out a brook, wanting to use the water as part of a defense strategy in my fortress, but I forgot the almighty rule of channeling; never EVER channel an area mor than 3 spaces wide, or at least one dwarf will fall in GUARANTEED.
One of my miners fell in, and there is our best friend, the carp.
After the carp is done, he somehow survived, I check his woundings, fearing the worst. He was unconscious, was missing two toes and had a mangled brain. Apparently the carp really loved the taste of his brain, as he died of thirst. In a brook.

[Kidiri]

Most of the injuries my dwarves get are relatively minor, but two of them managed to get hit in the foot/hand by crossbow bolts during a poorly handled siege.

They 'accidentally' got shot? Sounds like some people tried to avoid their duties...

[Funk]

adventure mode can put out some horrifying skull smashing blows that take out both eyes, mangle the ears,remove the nose,and pulp the brain.
a
i do end them by hacking there guts out.

[Sorcerer]

my most horrific injury ever was with the legendary lands mod, and the viole(n)t xeltics, quad scimitar weilding bugs of doom.

I had my small compound generally covered by marksdwarves, and my captain of the guard, with her awesome axe.

suddenly, i get a xeltic ambush! they rush forwards to meet my dwarves, and all but one, their leader get shot down before they get into the courtyard.. there the leader and my captain face off.. in slow motion....

as their bases touch... i click forwards a few rounds.. and theres just a mass of limbs EVERYWHERE.. the archers pepper the leader full of arrows, but by now the captain is on the ground.. both legs off at the hip, left arm off at the shoulder, right arm off at the elbow, and both eyes torn out.

the xeltic wasnt much better off, as she had lopped off three of his arms before she went down.

and then a dwarf runs out, picks her up and hauls her off to a bed.... alive O_o