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[Bodkin]

Here's a fun learning experience for me.  I had always imagined that babies being carried by their mothers were safe.  Somehow I assumed that the idiot children running around unattended on the hillsides were the only vulnerable ones; I guess that's because those are the only ones that were ever successfully stolen from me before.  So today I found out how wrong I was.

It just happened that the dwarf who screamed out "Snatcher! Protect the children!" was carrying a baby herself.  Worse, the kid already had a broken finger (yellow) and a mangled hand (red).  I immediately drafted the mother and sounded the alarm for my military.  I tapped a few dots to advance time a little, and just like that the child was gone.  I checked the goblin's inventory, and the baby was already inside the goblin's silk bag.  A few more dots, and the thief already had a two-space lead on the mother, then three.  So don't ever assume that a dwarven baby is safe just because he's being supervised by his mother.

Interestingly, even when the baby is inside the snatcher's bag, you can see its feelings.  For the sake of documentary completeness, and also because it's morbidly funny, here is what it says:

"Geshud Alathenkos has been unhappy lately. He was comforted by a wonderful creature in a cage recently. He was caught in a snow storm recently. He was disgusted by a miasma lately. He sustained minor injuries recently. He is depressed about being confined."

The mother, on the other hand, is feeling ecstatic; except that "she has complained about the draft lately."  Get that?  Only a few dots of time since poor little Geshud was snatched, and she's already found time to bitch about being expected to do something about it.  Not one for a Mother of the Year nomination, I guess.  And who did she complain to?  It must have been the goblin.  I'm sure he encouraged her to go file a grievance with the mayor.

Additionally, the baby's personality description ends with: "He needs alcohol to get through the working day and really wants a drink." Fetal alcohol syndrome FTW!


(Postscript: As I write this, one of my champions has arrived on the scene. Already he's in the process of nourishing the soil with goblin viscera.  So it looks like little Geshud will get to go home with his unfeeling, negligent, alcoholic mother after all.)

[Duke 2.0]

 Remember: Alcoholism is a permanent state amung dwarves, like us being sober. When they turn sober, they start getting the effects of hangover and thus suffer.

 Children drinking shows they are going to grow up strong. Heck, perhaps they can earn sanity eventually.

[Haven]

For more fun, wait until they're off the map, then check their thoughts.

[Bodkin]

Just one other thing.  It struck me that this was a great opportunity to run a perverse experiment and see if I can outsmart the game.  I marked the bag as forbidden, while the child was still in it, to see if the mother could still reclaim the child.  A mighty blow from my champion, and the goblin was sent flying through the air, with bag and baby left behind on the ground.  The baby was free of the bag and his mother had no problem reclaiming him. 

That's good programming, Toad.

[Bodkin]

Sorry to pile onto my own post, but this story just keeps getting more tragic.  It seems that the moment Mommy got little baby Geshud back into her arms, she ran straight down into the furniture storeroom where they'd be safe one level underground.

What she didn't reckon on was that I had a bunch of dwarves removing a structure outside so that they could erect a new tower for some catapults.  Too many of them were working at once, and there was a collapse that punched through the ground and dropped tons of rubble, as well as a Glassmaker and a brain-damaged Baroness Consort, right onto their heads.  Mother and baby are just barely alive, but we'll see whether they can survive the dwarven healthcare system.

Summary: Goblin snatches baby out of mother's arms.  Champion heroically rescues baby.  Mother rushes baby indoors.  Sixteen tons.  God, I love this game.

[Spoggerific]

I don't think you could see a plot this good with a team of professional randomly typing monkeys writers anywhere. Dwarf Fortress is almost a random plot generator.

What kinds of wounds do they have? Is everything mangled or something?

[Tormy]

The mother, on the other hand, is feeling ecstatic; except that "she has complained about the draft lately."  Get that?  Only a few dots of time since poor little Geshud was snatched, and she's already found time to bitch about being expected to do something about it.  Not one for a Mother of the Year nomination, I guess. 

Yes well, Toady must work on this part of the game actually. The feelings of the dwarves and their happiness is quite unrealistic quite often.
Just an example: in my current fortress a dwarf  lost her 2 sons in the siege. [I am not using traps/defense system at all + Ive modified the civs a bit, so sieges are pretty hardcore..] She is ecstatic. Is this making any sense? Nop.

[Ryo]

You thought a baby was safe just because it's accompanied by its mother? Pfft. My entire military was on duty (Consisting of 85 75 (typo) champions and a few weaker dwarves) outside the fortress, and a goblin still managed to sneak through the crowds of dwarves, snag a baby from out of a dwarf's arms, and escape without being spotted.

Another time, a goblin snuck up on one of my champions (who was holding her baby) but, instead of stealing the baby, just beheaded it with one swift slice of its dagger. Of course, it was then spotted and promptly torn limb from limb by my military.

Intrestingly, babies/children who are captured by goblins will not age, so their younger siblings can grow up to be children/adults first. It looks strange on their parent's relationships page:

Urist McKidnapped, baby	oldest son
Urist McIGrewUp, peasant	youngest son

[Spoggerific]

85 champions? Eighty-five? That's... that's more champions than the entire population of most of my forts. How long did it take? What kinds are they? How long has that fort been running? Do you have a map of it? Have I asked enough questions?

[Refar]

Various creatures value children differently. Some will eat they offspring.
Dwarves dont go this far, but they apparently do not care too much either.

[Bodkin]

What kinds of wounds do they have? Is everything mangled or something?

Actually not that terrible, on further review.  Mostly yellow, with some red; plus, the mother has almost no damage.  She must have held up the baby to shield herself from damage.  I mistakenly thought her wounds were those of the Baroness Consort, who got it much worse.  She's a new immigrant, and her chambers aren't ready, so she's sleeping it off in the barracks, while strong drunk men smash each other against furniture all around her. 

Forbid me from exporting grates, will you?  Okay, and I'm sure I'll get around to creating your chambers sometime.

[Tormy]

85 champions? Eighty-five? That's... that's more champions than the entire population of most of my forts. How long did it take? What kinds are they? How long has that fort been running? Do you have a map of it? Have I asked enough questions?

He said 75...but thats a LOT also. Ive never had anything like that and Im playing with this game for years..
This sounds like a good idea for the next megaproject. 

[Ryo]

85 champions?

Er...no, actually, I meant 75. My bad...

Eighty-five?

See above.

How long did it take?

About 10 years.

What kinds are they?

Most (Say...60?) are wrestlers, the others have various weapons.

How long has that fort been running?

About 11 years now.

Do you have a map of it?

Yup.

Have I asked enough questions?

I think so.

Edit: I think my baby/child count is up to about 70 now, so the goblins are spoilt for choice. I seem to remember one of my champions having 13 children, and another having 11. My duke and duchess have a lot, but I can't remember how many off the top of my head.

I must have very horny dwarves...

Edit 2: I've loaded DF and have checked the numbers - my fort pop is at 245, I have 78 champions, 75 children and my duke/duchess have 8 children.

[Mephansteras]

Forbid me from exporting grates, will you?  Okay, and I'm sure I'll get around to creating your chambers sometime.

Sounds like a perfectly good noble, to me. Grates not being high on my list of exported items...

[Proteus]

The mother, on the other hand, is feeling ecstatic; except that "she has complained about the draft lately."  Get that?  Only a few dots of time since poor little Geshud was snatched, and she's already found time to bitch about being expected to do something about it.  Not one for a Mother of the Year nomination, I guess. 

Yes well, Toady must work on this part of the game actually. The feelings of the dwarves and their happiness is quite unrealistic quite often.
Just an example: in my current fortress a dwarf  lost her 2 sons in the siege. [I am not using traps/defense system at all + Ive modified the civs a bit, so sieges are pretty hardcore..] She is ecstatic. Is this making any sense? Nop.

Well, look at the delicious meals and drinks your cooks and brewers just made. Donīt they let you forget every personal and tragic loss you encountered? Especially if you sit in the giant engraved dining hall while eating them