I play vanilla so far, but I tend to always stay on the side of realism. For example, all my dwarves get at least a 9 tile room with a bed, table, chair, cabinet and coffer + door. Married dwarves get two 9 tile rooms connected with 2 beds, two chairs, a table, two cabinets and a coffer. I'm aware that multiple chairs doesn't work with one table, but it makes more sense to me.
My greenhouses are protected by walls on the surface so it's a deep, grated shaft and not just a single glass panel. Plump helmets in small quantities for variety and dwarven wine, but for nothing else. No cooking alcohol
No roast exports, no decorated ammo. I'm on the line about mugs, since they're 3x more valuable per unit of time/stone spent. Currently I compromise with all 4 "crafts" items on repeat.
All rooms are properly shored up with supports, minimal traps, no atom smashers (That's what siege engines are for!), no quantum stockpiles.
No killing of immigrants or nobles, though I don't bother appointing a sheriff until the community grows past ~90-100 members.
I deliberately avoid manufacturing weapons for a couple of years to make defense more difficult, but all of my starting 7 have 2 armor, 2 shield and 1 wrestling so they're not utterly helpless once I get them a little equipment.
Oh, and I don't use cinnabar to build anything that might cause its poisonous properties to hurt any of my dwarves. Hehe.