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Author Topic: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll  (Read 67136 times)

Salmeuk

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #45 on: October 01, 2008, 10:04:55 pm »

POOOOR QUEEEE!?



Best image ever.
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Vaftrudner

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #46 on: October 01, 2008, 10:14:37 pm »

Once again, Heffa decided that education, sleeping patterns and women are more important than making pictures for me, so it falls upon me to try to please your eyes. You can all rest assured that I did in no way whatsoever succeed.



Spring of the third year, as told by Deduk Kengsåkzul, mason and architect

1st Granite


Since we're completely covered in silver, Cog gave orders that a silver road is to be built across the glacier. This all sounds perfectly insane to me, but at least it's better than making my 167th door.




It's slightly discomforting to see Goden's child crawling around on the bridge next to the magma whenever you go out, but I'm sure nothing bad can come from this. Kogan really seems to appreciate the lack of armor in this fortress, too.





She's been on a roll recently!

2nd Granite



Oh.

Shit.

9th Granite



At least Goden is taking the loss of her child well. And who wouldn't with such a marvelous door in her room? She seems slightly dehydrated though, but Rigòth is fetching her some water!



15th Granite




Rigòth has been sitting in his workshop for days, muttering about cut gems. I wouldn't normally care too much, but since Cog has decided that it's his job to do what noone else wants to, we might lose our only animal trainer, bowyer and bone carver. Our jeweler has built a workshop and is working on getting some gems cut.

17th Granite



Rigòth finally got his cut kunzite and is working his arse off right now. There's a first time for everything, I guess. Some elves came around, and they still insist on bringing wood. This can not go on. A useful elf is a living elf.

20th Granite




Rigòth's finished and he's beaming with pride, showing everyone his majestic, masterfully crafted.. blowgun. A weapon that no dwarf, elf nor man can use. His life's achievement, the result of all his struggles, dreams and hopes is... a blowgun. Huh.

At least with that out of the way and with the new dining room finished, we can have a season-long party! We'll go for the world record! I still have the feeling that we've forgotten something, but it can't be that terribly important... Ah, I'll just go ask that dwarven wine barrel!

25th Granite



Oh.

Shit.


kurisukun

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #47 on: October 01, 2008, 10:53:42 pm »

Oh.





Shit.


Such... moving poetry...  I cannot stop laughing!!!

webadict

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #48 on: October 01, 2008, 11:44:19 pm »

Your pictures are just as great. I think the so-called lack of quality helps it, despite what you think.
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Blurb

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #49 on: October 02, 2008, 08:12:48 am »

Once again, Heffa decided that education, sleeping patterns and women are more important than making pictures for me

Heyyyyyyy, go figure.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #50 on: October 02, 2008, 09:58:19 am »


 The night is still young!

 Party on, party people!
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Vaftrudner

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #51 on: October 03, 2008, 11:20:06 pm »

Late spring and early summer as told by Logem Luslemudib, swordsdwarf

23rd Slate



We had more immigrants come today. Among them were one fisher and no less than two fishery workers. I don't really know what the king is thinking, but seriously, someone in the mountainhome should tell him that fish do not swim in ice.



Naturally, we let most of these people become part of the glory that is the military forces of Kunroder. That is, a brain-damaged milker, a psychotic axe-wielding ex-con from hell with the only steel weapon in this place, a speardwarf with his back shaped like an S and... me. Armok help them. We gave them all some new shining silver weapons and the mandatory wooden shields, along with the imaginary armor we are all wearing.




Since our population is soaring, Cog and Ast demands that a fortress guard is formed. They really don't care what is going on as long as they get better furniture though, so we just told 5 peasants that they were now officially the guard and could come spar with us. Unarmed. That's reassuring.

3rd Hematite



We've been training hard with the new recruits and somehow most of them have started to get comfortable with their weapons. Kogan has been insisting for weeks that we go into the chasm and clean up what the marksdwarves couldn't reach, and Cog finally agreed when Kogan told her that they were going to steal our magma.

5th Hematite




The miners broke through the walls today and ran away screaming while we charged. We didn't meet any serious resistance but damn, those things reek.



I hear some human merchants came around today aswell with their usual supply of wood and brewable items. Good news. We can't guard the depot right now since we're neck deep in rotting beasts from hell, but hopefully they'll manage.

8th Hematite



This is quickly turning into a fucking parody. Some peasants came down to pick up corpses and bones, but there are still things crawling around in the chasm that even the marksdwarves can't reach, so they all panicked and ran to the other side of the chasm. They're running around like madmen, and every time they get close to returning to safety, they panic and run back again. Meanwhile, all the miners that are not currently wetting themselves are off drinking. Good stuff.

12th Hematite




A miner finally got around to carving out access to the last troll, and a ledge where the marksdwarves could reach the troglodytes. Cerol did an unbelievable job with the few silver arrows she had, but Vabok is really starting to freak me out. The last surviving troll is currently being literally torn apart and he refuses to give it a killing blow. Just what we needed, another Kogan.




At least it's done now. We've killed dozens of beasts that peacefully lived beyond our reach for no particular reason and with no gain whatsoever. The king must be so proud. I want to die.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2008, 08:16:09 am by Vaftrudner »
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Zironic

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #52 on: October 04, 2008, 01:44:27 pm »

This reminds me of a fortress once, where I made a massive army of 2 wrestlers, one sword dwarf and one hammerdwarf, one of which became a champion. They had names, and suits of armor. They defeated all the monsters of the land with no problem. Then a goblin raid came. And those badasses had cross bows.

The following wave of migrants helped a lot.
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Vaftrudner

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #53 on: October 05, 2008, 10:04:40 am »

Then a goblin raid came. And those badasses had cross bows.
Speak of the devil...

In case anyone's wondering why the screenshots are so goth all of a sudden, it's because Gnome, after working perfectly for a year, went bellyup for no particular reason and with no indication of why, so I did what any sane person would do - ignored it and installed xfce.


Autumn according to Cerol Olinzágod, Gem Cutter




Life went on as usual all summer, except for Cog screaming for large gems every other day. Becoming mayor really went to her head, and there wasn't much there to start with. As autumn came around, I stopped trying to cut large gems and did something constructive instead. I started blaming the cats.



Cog actually believed that the kittens were eating all our large gems, and when I missed the deadline, she put Rigòth the butcher in jail for failing to find large gems while slaughtering them. I'm starting to like this place.





Deduk, one of the original settlers, got one of those moods that are all the rage these days and managed to construct the finest damn quern I've ever seen. He got so good in the process, he's considered legendary now. Bloody show-off if you ask me.




There was a big panic when we started noticing that the well-water was running out in early autumn. The water deposit we had was fine when our army consisted of five slackers, but it's hardly enough when Kogan and Vabok are sending guards to bed once a week.





The miners started working on the new magma room just as the traders from the mountainhome came around. Since the miners have found around 3 galena veins, 4 native silver ones and enough cassiterite to build a fortress out of tin, we chose to skip the usual order for wood and told them to bring proper metals. With enough stone goods and some very good meals we managed to get some steel armor from the traders in addition to the usual orgy in wood and meat, but hardly enough to protect us from any real threat.








The magma room was finished and filled rather quickly, but not before two guards kicked the bucket. We started seeing goblins crawling around outside too, which makes the lack of water and proper armor very alarming.




Meanwhile, the dried up well water area serves as an additional food source. And, more importantly, to keep Cog busy. She's screaming for backpacks now and noone knows what her next fetish will be.




Some new immigrants went a long way to fill up the gaps in the guard and army, and to take our mind off the deaths, Cog has had Deduk make statues for a new garden.



Thîkut, one of the new immigrants, is training to become a backup siege operator for Shorast, but the grave news are that the new water supply is already half-emptied. With goblins crawling around outside, something tells me that we might have a problem here.

Boksi

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #54 on: October 05, 2008, 10:37:59 am »

Melt the entire damn glacier! Flood the world, or preferably, build some walls and only flood a small portion of the nearby world so that you have lots of water but it won't get away easily!
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Vaftrudner

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #55 on: October 05, 2008, 10:50:48 am »

Melt the entire damn glacier! Flood the world, or preferably, build some walls and only flood a small portion of the nearby world so that you have lots of water but it won't get away easily!
The problem with pumping magma is that when trying to fill a large area, too much of the magma evaporates before it gets up to even 2/7, to the point where you actually empty the top layer of the pipe and everything has evaporated. If I could, I'd turn the entire fucking glacier into an obsidian lake... By the way, is that icelandic in your signature?

Axe27

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #56 on: October 05, 2008, 10:53:54 am »

Build a fortress nearby on a river and redirect into the glacier area.
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And thus did the dream of dwarven antigravity fade away, not with a massive explosion or a flood of magma, but with a whimper.

I'm going to be depressed all day now.

Boksi

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #57 on: October 05, 2008, 11:59:26 am »

Yes, it's Icelandic. And I suggest pumping the magma up from the lowest part of the pipe.
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Vaftrudner

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #58 on: October 05, 2008, 12:05:30 pm »

Yes, it's Icelandic. And I suggest pumping the magma up from the lowest part of the pipe.
The biggest problem there is that machinery seems to freeze. When I tried building a windmill, it did produce 20 units of power, but no machinery I attached to it worked. The windmill said "frozen here" and the gear assemblies said "frozen elsewhere". If I were to pump from the lowest level, that would require 15 dwarves actually managing to pump simultaneously :D

Boksi

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Re: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Zombie Troll
« Reply #59 on: October 05, 2008, 12:08:47 pm »

Waterwheels, mayhaps? Set up a perpetual motion machine with some water, it fits Cog's crazy schemes after all.
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