I also think this was in some part a bad example for this community. I mean the guy or girl made a valid request. I don't think its in any way okay to get aggressive, because you want toady to do something else instead. Its just a valid improvement suggestion than any else. And no, its not "limiting the game", its actually expanding the games possible audience, if 1 or 2 switches allows raw modders to make a version that some parents have less problems to let their offspring play with it. And yes I can only guess but coding 2 init options one turning off blood and the other seperated limbs would not take much more than 1 or 2 hours work. Yes you can miserly call, that are 2 hours wasted not gone into my [pet feature]... but hell. I mean I think it shows a nice paradox, Toady not wanting to open source, because he doesn't want to transfrom from a coder to some coding-manager. Which would quite certainly happen with a project of this popularity. On the other hand, we have now 1 coder, and a whole wood full of self claimed managers wanting to coordinate him, to shield of unnecessary work, to pinpoint to the "right work". The situation is almost approaching to the style of Hewlett Packard.
With or without kids-mod, there are sure many, many, many worse games out there to have your kid play with. I don't think DF violence is all that enourmous. It sure never gonna be a "teletubby"-compatible game, as death is a part of it. But in which games today isn't death an integral part? Where you shoot other things down? Where you main character "looses a life"?...