I order my dwarf to dig out a 3x3 room with the abandoned pick
(1) The miner is sober due to the "unfortunate booze shortage" rule (technically floating between Pantshelm and Helmpants rulebook, non-chapter 5:rules that exist to annoy part IV) Thus un-inebriated he dig-dig-digs himself a nice 8x9 room that promptly crushes him. The pick is thrown out of the room and lays in the hallway.
I activate the inconvenient mood rule from Pantshelm ruleset 3.7 Chapter 9 Section 24.2, causing the Soapmaker to be stricken by a fey mood making him to demand 3d5 dwarf tallow, and a log.
(3) Soapy takes control of the only workshop available- the Felsite and Dwarf Paste Wood Furnace. He dashes about to collect the materials but doesn't complete the item yet. Oh! Roll to dodge exploding furnace!(5)The furnace does not explode-yet.
Since my dwarf is a metalsmith and not a wood burner, and since the woodburner has skill and would thus get a bonus to his wood burning roll, and since the wood furnace has a chance to explode, I order the wood burner to collect wood, and burn it!
(9)The wood burner heads into the forest and starts absolutely demolishing trees. Pine logs fly and oaks implode from terror. However, he never bet on the elves. Due to 'Kogan's ol' time Tacticus Rules' a pirate rulebook, traders now arrive 1 year early. The enraged elves devour the wood burner, then demand a trade depot be prepared or they will simply HAVE to leave.
Of course, this would require from the same rulesets expansion patch 44.2.8 Chapter 4 advanced guide "Screwing chance", where you must have either just immigrated to the map, are a useless job or are near-legendary anyway. As per soapmakers, you get a +7% towards getting a mood.
Me? I have my kobolds re-group and don some bags, attempting to capture an adult dwarf. This is allowed in the Dwarf Wife expantion ruleset "Ye all jus a buncha big babies!" Also, the recipient of such a move, if successful, will cry like a baby.
Rules duly noted. Note it's impossible to cancel another player's rule reminders, but it is encouraged to add on to them.
(6) The Kobolds take some bags and pretend to be goblins. They move in to the map and find... (8) the last dwarf given an order by the 8th player. According to +rulebook+. That means that the Jeweler -who just chewed the arm off what is now a Dwarf Torso- Has been captured. Jeweler: [cries].
If Butchy's eye is out, he'll go into a martial trance and kill all the cats. Using the bones, he'll craft some bolts and trade the leather. Of course, cat leather is in demand, seeing how they'll rip out eyes and all... so it's worth about 3 pelts for a bar of iron.
I like the way you think.
(7) Simply put, the 1-eyed Butcher goes all Fell mood up on those cats.
Blinky Uristurist has created an artifact *Cat Bone Crossbow*!
This is a *Cat Bone Crossbow*. All craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. There is a picture of a cat and a dwarf in cat leather. The dwarf is striking down the cat. x50.
I place a token of radial undead summoning in the plains outside the mountain via the rules from article 1043b of section 85c of the New Revised Pantsheilm Ruleset, v. 4.1, in reference to the lack of undead on a field of gameplay. According to said rules, this token raises 4d7 creatures each round, remaining until removed.
Wait- new revised, revised new, newly revived, or Nude Resentful version? *reads* Ok.
(8)The token summons 30 zombie Giant Original Pachyderms (i.e. elephants from early versions). Might want to take care of that. Or at least get inside.
I order the soapmaker to go into a fell mood!
(2)The soapmaker considers going into two moods at once, but decides that one mood is enough for now, thank you very much. He explodes into gore due to cognitive dissonance. The GOP shuffle over and gore the corpse.
I, according to the Helmpants ruleset, invoke the "Randomly joining in dude" rule mentionned in article 56f and place two and a half !!*kitten leather socks*!! in the dinningroom . Due to the impossible-ness of a sock to be cut in half (see "Lololol Fractions are evil" ruleset in the book "Pantshelm: Second Second Edition", the half-sock imlodes, hopefully creating a blackhole in SD-45 ; Z-level 135.
The 2 socks, in presence of a +<<Black Hole>>+, teleports all soapmakers 10 z-levels over a volcano, due to the Gravity&Socks rule of the afore-mentionned Helmpants ruleset.
(9)The gooey remains of the moody soap maker are teleported over the volcano that just now happens to exist. Since this goo was evenly distributed over the rotting feet of the GOP, three of the elephants appear there too. Oh, and the one other soap maker- he's gored and trampled before he can hit the lava.
Oh my, what have I gotten myself into?
I have a kitten chop down a tree for wood.
(7)The fuzzy little kitten stretches up and sharpens it's little claws on a small pine. That small pine tilts and falls over, knocking down a larger tree, which falls on an oak, and so on. Soon the forest is tumbling down in a storm of raining lumber.
Global
Roll to get immigrants:
(8) Caching! 8 immigrants. Including one Mechanic and a bunch of worthless bums!
*Added cowofdoom