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[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 17th of Hematite. (early summer)
A kobold was discovered. Wanna guess who by? The WARTHOGS. It promptly fled. Shortly after, two more kobolds were discovered attempting to access our fortress (through the main gate... nobody accused them of being smart) and were discovered by the bonecrafter, on his way back from the refuse stockpile he was retrieving bones from. The completely unarmed military ran after them (Rick was eating), but could not catch them.

I am currently partying it up in the dining hall. Woot. Now if only I could remember that there are traders and a liason awaiting my attention, I might go buy some stuffs.

Shoruke's Log. 21st of Hematite. (early summer)
OMG lol!!1! Sweet.


I need a drink. THEN I'll go trade. Probably. Meanwhile, the craftsdwarf is going to make some obsidian swords (which, according to legend, are better than iron ones by a third)

Shoruke's Log. 5th of Malachite. (mid summer)
Apparently it takes logs to make rock swords. Weird. Makes me wonder why we don't have 'magma craftdwarfs shops'. After all, if you have obsidian, you probably have magma, so why not?

Anyway, I bought a bunch of food, wood (lots of wood), a couple bags and barrels, a couple metal bars (their pack animals are wussy* so I bought some of their metal to lighten the load), and a bunch of leather. Leather, it turns out, is WAY cheaper than cloth.
I then asked the liason to bring all the wood, food, drink, metal bars (YOU NEVER KNOW, it might be usefull to have stockpiled a bunch of different metals at some point.), seeds, barrels, bags, leather, cloth, animal, and war-ready armor they could spare. We probably won't end up being able to afford nearly all of it, but at least we will be able to pick and choose what we need at the time.
Hey, if they bring armor, will it be... you know... dwarf sized instead of gigantic human size? I've seen some pretty big humans... put it this way, their armor would fall off of us faster than rainwater off a cliff face.


*I call them wussy for a reason. We had one single wagon, carrying more stuff than any of theirs, pulled by a horse and a donkey.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 1st of Limestone. (early autumn)
Autumn has arrived... on the calendar, anyway. Hey wait, that means the dwarven traders are coming soonwith all the stuff I requested! Lambskin, it's mechanism-spam time.

That gold vein turned out to be... well, quite long. And hit had some black zircon and purple spinels in it. Yay! Wealth!

Other than that, a whole month was spent basically expanding the fortress. Trying to make rooms for a billion, billion dwarves is going to be hard... especially considering we're having trouble managing it for 36. We're expanding the work level to include jewelry, crafting, glassmaking, other such things. We've also dug out a section of the fortress for the nobles (that includes me, and one of the random immigrant peasants that I decided to make Sheriff on account of his otherwise uselessness). We're also expanding the bedroom level, so that we actually have enough room for everyone.

Oh yes, and Rick managed to kill a gazelle today. They were (almost) all running away from him. One seemed to be chasing after him while he chased the other gazelles. Then he whipped around, smacked it in the face so hard it looked like an accordian, and sent it flying some twenty feet to its sandy death. But he STILL isn't classified as a macedwarf. I think I need to have him beat on the newbie recruits for a bit.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 8th of Sandstone. (mid autumn)
The dwarven traders came. I asked for the usual stuff... basically anything we can use, plus several gems and almost every type of metal. (I sold them mechanisms and some prepared foods... gold nuggets are apparently too heavy for the traders to carry. Wussies!)

I partnered Monk and Rick together, and told them to go hunt some wildlife for experience. Monk killed a warthog. Now stop bugging me in physics and math class about it Monk .

I looked at the civilization page to check something about trade agreements... and noticed something I REALLY didn't want to ever have to cope with.



Only elves could be worse. Except that I don't know if there's a snatcher or an ambush near my fortress. I have made sure all potentially outsidey job have been forbidden, and stationed all military dwarves (that includes Rick, Monk, and six random dwarves with obsidian swords) at the fortress gate. Those goblins aren't getting in easily, that's for sure. Even if there's only one dwarf with armor.
HOW THE HELL DID THEY FIND US?!? Frick! Armok dammit, first the three kobolds, then the elves, and now goblins. I asked the liaison, but he said as far as he knows only the dwarves knew about this place. Garr!

Shoruke's Log. 12th of Sandstone. (mid autumn)
The caravan is leaving. I suppose I can't stop them, but I can issue a 'dwarves stay indoors' order, complete with bad grammar. Perhaps the caravan will find the goblins for us and kill them.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 6th of Timber. (late autumn)
The merchants and the liason have all left safely.

I called off the high alert status, but I'm keeping the sword dwarves in the hallway JUST IN CASE.

Rick and Monk have been busting their butts, running around after warthogs... to no avail.

I'm having the masons engrave the inside of the magma pit (which is the bottom layer of four adjacent rooms on the 'work level') to gain experience. This will also increase our fortress' wealth. Once they are done that, then I'll have one of the miners flood it with magma from the volcano (preferably Emperor 'cuz he's uber fast) and then we can start making a bunch of gold stuff. I have this crazy scheme for a defense for our fortress... yes... yeeesssss... that's gonna be good... oh, I did not just go there.

ANYWAY! By far the strangest and most interesting thing that happened this month... that wounded ranger withdrew from society. It's odd, I haven't really EVER considered him part of society. Anyway, despite having a broken arm, he claimed a craftsdwarves workshop and is now running around grabbing random stuff.

Shoruke's Log. 11th of Timber. (late autumn)
Migrants. Oh boy, more mouths to feed/idiots to train/butts to make beds for. The tally came to...
-1 Herbalist
-1 Fishery Worker
-1 Wood burner (who likes both cloth and silk, so he's gonna be a clothier)
-1 Actual Clothier
-1 Carpenter (complete with battle axe)
-1 Ranger, but due to lack of materials, his equipment will be given to the military and he's going to be a farmer
-and 2 relatively useless idiots. One will be a glassmaker, and the other will be an apprentice marksdwarf under Monk.

You mean we need to make MORE beds? Frick. The masons are kind of tied up with the whole "engrave the magma pit" thing, so they won't get coffers for a while.

And that withdrawn injured ranger seems to have a thing for bones.

Shoruke's Log. 14th of Timer. (late autumn)
This looks kinda promising somehow...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Maybe it's just my imagination, but that gemstone is the promise of wealth to me.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 18th of Timber. (late autumn)
That demented ranger made a spiked ball made of bones, more bones, other bones, and a rough gemstone.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

And... what kind of spiked ball does NOT menace with spikes? What a clever addition. Oh well... nigh-useless as this artifact is, it's at least worth a whopping 55,200 munnies. The entire rest of our fortress is worth 50,690 munnies. That means, of course, that it doubled our fortress' worth. I suddenly have some measure of respect for that ranger, who is now a craftsdwarf. He will make FRICKIN EXCELLENT bone bolts for Monk to practice with.

...Just as soon as he heals. Yeesh.


Shoruke's Log. 11th of Moonstone. (early winter)
Winter. Bah. It's still flipping hot. Then again, I suppose that's to be expected in a scorching desert. But while humans hide in their houses feeling silly for living aboveground, and elvish hippies curl up in their skins (like that'll do them a lot of good), and goblins wonder why they haven't attacked us yet, we dwarves will not stagnate!

I organized the production of 30 pairs of shoes. The cool thing is, I have some 'organizer' experience now. The bad news is, we have so many dwarves, I need to actually write what I want down on paper. Blearghz!

I told the masons to smooth the walls of the Sheriff's room, because he seemed... unimpressed with decoration scheme. Pretentious sonuvasoandso. Anyway, the masons promptly stopped smoothing out the magma pit and rushed over to do the sheriff's room. They are either more willing to please the sheriff than I am, or they are getting bored of the magma pit.

And I (as in, the miners) dug out space for the new immagrants to sleep. And we need more beds in the barracks.

And those skeletal one-humped camels are back. I wonder... with a military of eight dwarves, (Rick, Monk, a crossbow dwarf, and 5 sword-recruits) we might be able to take them out. BONES FOR ALL!

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 26th of Moonstone. (early winter)
Well, the (skeletal) camels ran away. They were replaced (it took longer than a second this time!) by gazelles.
Rick seems to be acting weird lately. I stationed him and Monk just outside the fortress gate, and as soon as he got there, he began chasing after gazelles... that were JUST inside the fortress area's boundaries. At least he killed one. I actually got a decent look at his torture hunting process. (no pictures though, sorry)

First, he needs to get within a foot of whatever he's attempting to kill. Makes sense. Then he hits it with his mace *once* to send it flying, both the strike and landing will cause the creature crippling damage. The now lame target is presumably unconscious and therefore defenseless. Rick then referses the topography of its face and that's that.

Shoruke's Log. 26th of Moonstone, the second* time. (early winter)
Shortly after observing Rick coldhearted method of killing stuff, he was mauled by a magma man, which is apparently a force to be reckoned with... it killed him outright simply by touching him. So, I went back a few days, had him (along with Monk) kill the skeletal leopard (it was once again replaced by skeletal one-humped camels), and rest just a bit. Then I had him and the newbish swords-recruit-dwarves mob the camels. They never had a chance. They fought back valiantly, and broke one noob's hand, but other than that they were simply reduced to piles of bones in almost nothing flat. Oddly, Rick didn't land any of the killing blows against the camels.



*God's Log, with input from my good buddy Armok. Shortly after Shoruke's most recent log entry.
It was not, by a long shot, the SECOND time Shoruke loaded that save file. More like, the 12th. The reason for this savescum-spamming was that Monk had only one bolt in his quiver, and after shooting at the skeletal leopard, he would proceed to attempt to crush it with his crossbow, and get mauled. Never killed outright (Rick was always right behind him to save the day), but always mauled. Shoruke then split up the duo into two squads, ordering Rick to charge first, and THEN ordering Monk to back him up. This tactic proved 100% successful.

[GoldPanda]

Let's get that artifact spiked ball into a weapons trap, to, err, prevent anyone from stealing it.

[Shoruke]

I want more named dwarves! 

Shoruke's Log. 7th of Opal. (mid winter)
Even right in the middle of winter, it's still hot here. We couldn't make ice for our booze even if we were magic.

I told the newbish crossbow-dwarf to go kill something. He shot at a lion, hitting (and mangling) its leg. He then stood in that same spot, wasting his steel bolts as fast as he could, but didn't hit it for about twenty shots. Then, after missing so many times, his skill suddenly increased (even past that of Monk) and he shot the lion a fatal shot. Now I'm having practise bolts made for Monk.

Rick is standing guard while Monk pretends to be soldiering even though a) he's off duty, and b) he's actually sitting around his room doing nothing.

I'm having the walls of the magma pit engraved and the floors of the pit smoothed. After doing all of winter twice, I have discovered that magma will do some really mean stuff to rock. It will...
-Turn any engravings on the floor into 'smoothed' but not engraved floor, and yes this does detract the engraving's wealth from the fortress total.
-leave engravings on the walls perfectly intact.
-Deconstruct any 'open' floodgates it passes over; it will simply wash against any closed ones and leave them be.
-melt any deconstructed floodgates into stones
-insult the parentage of the rock
-melt nearby stones slowly; just before they are melted into nothingness, they are turned into a 'melted' version of that rock and the rock's value drops to 0.

It will also melt any dwarf who tries to mine into it instantly. About the only way to avert this occurance is to have a fast miner. So, out of our three miners, only Emperor and Elfbane are qualified to dig out the last square of stone.

[Shoruke]

Shouke's Log. 19th of Obsidian. (late winter)
Okay, so... the now-legendary bone carver (who used to be a ranger) went out to pick up some bones. The bones were, somehow, right next to a pile of skeletal TWO-humped camels. I think Lambskin had hit some of the camels with the catapult. Anyway, the camels obviously noticed her, and she ran away. She bolted into the fortress. Meanwhile, the camel ran straight through the stonefall traps (which are still there), and was injured but not destroyed. Then Rick finished him off, gaining enough experience to be classified as an actual macedwarf. Yay. Now I'm going to have him drop his mace, have the other melee dwarves drop their swords, and and have them duke it out with each other.

Monk has spent enough time at the archery range to be an actual marksdwarf. He and the other marksdwarf are standing guard over the entrance to the fortress.

And one of the herbalists has been possessed by that freaky ghost. He claimed a craftsdwarf's workshop (booting out the craftsdwarf who was making totems at the time), as well as...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, I have high hopes for this artifact. The last one that had a gemstone was quite valuable, and this one has more other materials.

Shoruke's Log. 27th of Obsidian. (late winter)
That artifact is done.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's worth 32,400 munnies. Which is odd; it's worth less than the spiked ball (which Elfbane says we should put in a devastating weapon trap) even though it has more materials.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 10th of Granite. (early spring)
Spring. Suuuuure. The temperature doesn't change much around here. It's always hot.

And spring brings two things. The possibility of more immigrants (I've had the woodsdwarves chopping some trees to the east while the gazelles are busy grazing in the sands to the west) and elves. Oh dammit, elves. Yeah, they showed up. I am having devious ideas for mean stuff to do to them. It involves two things: a ballista, and a longer entrance hallway. To speed up this process, I'm going to seize a bunch of their goods. I might just lock them up in the hallway so that the ballista user (e.g. Lambskin) will have several chances to get all of them. Monk has expressed a desire to shoot at them, but until they're hostile, I can't figure out a legitimate way to make him shoot them.

[GoldPanda]

"Out-running lava" wasn't part of the job description, boss.

Oh, and the open floodgates got destroyed by the lava because the fragile mechanisms that operate the floodgates were exposed in the ones that were opened. Saw the whole thing myself, I did.

I guess you need to make the mechanisms out of special types of rock. Which types? I dunno. Ask a Mechanic or something.

Sets job: Drink.

[Shoruke]

Heh, sorry for not including outrunning lava in the job description. It shouldn't have to be ever again, unless I decide to use magma as a frontal fortress defense. And I don't really need to keep the floodgates safe from magma; I'm only using them so that the magma only has to fill one or two rooms at a time. If they melt after that... whatever, so be it. The point being that the magma spreads out too fast if it has too much room to cover and it evaporates and takes forever.

Shoruke's Log. 16th of Granite. (early spring)
The magma pit is filling up. Yay. Soon we can turn all those gold nuggets into bars.

The fish are back. They leave (through solid rock in the aquifer ) every winter, but now they're back. So the fisherdwarves are back to work.

I'm designing an intricate trap for the elves. I will lock them in the hallway (using floodgates and locked doors) and have Lambskin shoot them with a ballista. Whee. I wonder precisely how pissed off the elves are going to be if their merchants never return. Monk REALLY wants to shoot them, but I doubt it's going to happen.

Shoruke's Log. 18th of Slate. (mid-spring)
Two out of the four chambers in the magma pit have 4/7 magma depth. I issued an order to collect some sand. But that's not the funnest thing that happened this month.

With the exception of one, all of the swords-noobs have some skill in wrestling now. But that's also not the funnest thing this month.

I had Glack chop some trees and turn them into beds. We furnished a bunch of rooms for the 'homeless' dwarves. Once again, this is not the funnest thing to happen all month.

I stole from the elves. It's amazing, but everything they had was WORTH TAKING. They had wood and food and that was it. I seized it all. While being a related subject, this is still not the funnest thing to happen all month.

I locked the elves in the hallway using floodgates, walls, and locked doors. I had three floodgates constructed in the path they were supposed to take, linked them to a lever, had them opened, and waited for the elves to leave. As soon as they left the depot, I ordered someone to pull the lever. They are, at this precise moment, stuck in that hallway with no way out, and Lambskin is loading the ballista to blow them to bits.

Shoruke's Log. Supplementary.
Lambskin got tired on her way to pick up a ballista arrow, and went off to her room to sleep. Now I'm going to do the elf-shooting.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 20th of Slate. (mid-spring)
I missed completely the first time. But the second time... BULLSEYE!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I guess I have a bit of a knack for this. My second shot went perfectly straight, killed an elf, and injured one of the (WUSSY-ASSED) pack animals. Okay, I say injured, but I actually tore off its hoof if you care to notice.

Shoruke's Log. Supplementary.
A few minutes after that shot, the dead elf's head fell away from its body.

On my next shot, I killed an elf and REALLY hurt another mule. Sucks for the mule. Only one elf left, and three pack animals.

Fourth Shot: I took off the entire other leg of the mule that lost its hoof.

Well, I didn't hit anything for the next about five shots, and now we're out of ballista ammo. I'm going to let Lambskin do the rest of the shoosting once she's done making ammo.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 5th of Felsite. (late spring)
Migrants. Yeesh. Now? Oh well. The tally comes to...
-1 bone carver
-3 stone workers
-2 fishery worker
-1 potash maker
-2 gem cutter
-1 tanner
-2 bowyers (why do we need more than one bowyer AT ALL?)
-1 furnace operator
-1 thresher
-1 weaver
-2 peasants

With this many migrants, I (the leader thus far) have been 'elected' the fortress' first ever mayor. Yay. Also, our Sheriff is now a Captain of the Guard.
I, being mayor, will of course need more storage furniture in my room, but why does the CoTG? Bah. Anyway, I suppose I should make a jail for no real reason. I doubt we'll be having many tantrums in a fortress I'm overseeing.
Oh yes, with this many dwarves under my command care, I feel it is reasonable that I should be able to make a mandate or two now and then. In fact, my very first mandate in office is MAKE ME A BALLISTA ARROW OR I WILL JAIL YOUR ASS!

Ooh wait, this is MUCH funner than idiot migrants to feed/train/care for. It's even funner than being the first mayor. Check this out.



Yay! I wonder what would happen if I let them go.

Shoruke's Log. Supplementary.
Umm... the last elf seems to have committed suicide by throwing itself against the wall, I think (judging by the blood spatters that I OBVIOUSLY am able to see through the closed floodgate). But the mule is still in a berserk rage. I'm putting Rick, Monk, and that other crossbow guy next to the floodgates, pull the lever, and let them deal with it.

Shoruke's Log. 21st of Felsite. (late spring)
The elves are dead. Their animals are dead too, one killed by Rick's mace. Apparently it was a notable kill (presumably becaused it had a name... even if it was only a pet name). Now all the elven gear belongs to us, and we are going to sell it to the humans that are supposedly going to be coming soon.
'Oh, those poor elves,' one might think. Well, that's what they get for being hippies that try to trade us worthless stuff. Nyah!

We're also using the wood we got from them to make beds for the new immigrants and bins for the crafts stockpiles.

And I'm making the fortress guard some leather armor. Unlike the actual military, that's all they deserve.

Shoruke's Log. Supplementary.
Just as I was assigning a dump to place all of the elves' pretty much useless clothing in (right next to the depot, so there won't be excessive hauling jobs when the caravans come), a gem cutter was possessed by that tricksy ghost again. I wonder what's with that ghost. Maybe it's because we're in an evil biome. Predictably, it took over a jeweler's workshop. This is the first time that ghost made someone claim anything other than the craftdwarves' workshop. It's also the first time it has refrained from using bones. Maybe this is a different ghost, and we have several ghosts floating around here? It's using...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shoruke's Log. 27th of Felsite. (late spring)
that creepy ghost finished its artifact and departed the gem cutter's body with its usual haste. It made an idol.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's worth a whopping 96,000 munnies. HOLY CRAP. I just have one complaint. Why are all of our artifacts crafts?!? Why can't we have a legendary artifact mace made of obsidian that menaces with spikes of black spinel and has a picture of Rick beating the schist out of something?!?

Fun fact. Our entire fortress is worth 254,104 munnies. And out of this copious sum, 189,600 munnies are from artifacts. Artifacts make up 74.615% of our entire fortress' wealth!

Oh yes. And Rick managed the seemingly impossible today: he killed the fire man. And he made it out of the tussle with only one bruised arm, which healed before he even got back to his post. The fire man killed one of the cats though.

[Shoruke]

I want more named dwarves! 

Shoruke's Log. 11th of Hematite. (early summer)
The humans still haven't come... oh well.

The magma facilities are up! YESS! Now we can melt down all that tetrahedrite and some of the gold. And if any goblins come, we'll be able to melt down their weapons, shields, and armor and use the raw iron to outfit our dwarves. Awesome!

Just a random point of interest. I looked over most of the engravings in the magma pit. Most of the are of me. One was a tribute to the stupidest immigrant ever (remember waaay back when that immigrant wrongly thought I told him to hunt? there's a picture of him burning to death). Quite a few pictures are of two anvils, which is apparently the symbol of our community. I find this odd, seeing as we only have one anvil. There are also several pictures of the 'spiked fire imp bone ball'. Most pictures are of some of the randomest stuff ever. Let's see, we have... oak trees, the local wildlife, rat weed, clouds, a toad, mountains, ratmen (where has anyone even SEEN ratmen before?!?), a star (which is FIVE POINTED. no more, and no less, than FIVE points. For some reason this is a very key aspect of the picture of some random star), cave lobster, demons, moons, etc.

Oh, and... how are we supposed to be able to bed all of these dwarves?!? We're short like 15 beds, not even including that we need to expand the barracks. SHYEESHZ.

Shorue's Log. 14th of Hematite. (early summer)
Don't anybody DARE bring ballista ammo to the depot for me to trade or I will jail you. I won't jail myself, obviously, I'm too important, if I trade away a ballista arrow whoever brought it to the depot is busted. Mnyah!

Shoruke's Log. 10th of Hematite. (early summer) (it will make sense if you read on)
Well, I had all the elves' clothes shipped to the depot, got re-elected, and was about to trade with the humans, but then a goblin ambush killed our marksdwarves... and we can't have that. So I used my awesome, godly (Armok: "HEY!") powers of time-travel and redid the last couple weeks.

Now the entire military (excluding the relatively useless fortress guard... what do they even DO other than spar, anyway?) is stationed outside, ready for any possible threat to our safety.

Shoruke's Log. 25th of Hematite. (early summer)
I got re-elected. Now I'm ecstatic. I also have the very longest profile page out of anyone in the fortress. I'm so happy I'll make an easy-to-meet mandate and make myself happier!

Mandates: Export of Bismuth bronze items Prohibited

We don't even have bismuth bronze. What is bismuth bronze anyway, and why would anyone want it? And why do I like it?!? Anyway, nobody export any of our metaphysical bismuth bronze or I'll have you jailed.

I bought a bunch of stuff from the humans. Apparently they don't mind clothes taken from the corpses of elves (I think humans and elves are pretty close in terms of size; they're both bigger than dwarves anyway).

I was worried that the goblins would try and take us by surprise while we were trading with the humans. Not that I have any magical or supernatural way of knowing that they would come. But apparently I was right. I stationed the military in the hallway so they could use chokepoint tactics, and so that the marksdwarves could decently support the melee-ers, but apparently this entire gesture was unnecessary. One goblin died in Lambskin's traps, another one... I think... had its arm broken and dropped its dagger... and another one, I'm not entirely sure how it died, but its corpse is lying a few feet beyond the traps. Anyway, the two goblins that died were a maceman and a wrestler. Guess what that means? FREE IRON! and since the magma facilities are running, we can melt the metal quickly and easily. Awesome!