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[inaluct]

Since when am I in prison?!

D:

Edit: Since like 4 posts ago, I guess.

[rickvoid]

Since the millitary is getting redistributed, and some former peasants are going to become meat-shields, I'd like to throw my name into this. Since you already have a Rick...

Name: Void
Profession: One of your brand-spanking new marksdwarves. No preference as to what they used to be. Male, preferably.

And this is cool. Can't believe I didn't read it before. 

[inaluct]

Since the millitary is getting redistributed

I read that as "massive redistribution of wealth."

I suggest you kill all guards and non-working nobles.

Nobling does not count as work.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 8th of Moonstone. (early winter, year 22) ('spose it's not 22 for much longer though)
The end is coming. I saw it*, I swear. First the injuries, then the jailing, and now there's a plague or something. Name-Changing Syndrome hit not one, but TWO of our dwarves today. They both came into my office and requested new names, out of the blue. Both of them are of the three dwarves taken from the workforce and placed into the military... I wonder if that has anything to do with it. Perhaps a change in position stimulates a desire for a change in name? I don't know.

Anyway, Besmar the Recruit has changed his name to Banzay, and Dastot the Recruit has changed his name to Void.

Banzay:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Void:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Perhaps Void's relationship with his stonecrafter ladyfriend has something to do with this? It would probably help drive ANYONE crazy.

Anyway, in addition to the name change, Void also requested that he be given a crossbow. I granted him permission and he scurried off to the armory to go get one.

Shortly after that, I went back to the dining hall to attend Glack's party. I keep telling myself it's so that I can be re-elected so that I may continue to help the other dwarves and protect them from the nobles, insofar as I can, but even to myself this excuse sounds hollow. Although, I'll admit that the partying DOES actually have that effect. Not to mention it's a good way to calm down a bit.


Shoruke's Log. Supplementary.
I noticed that one of the fortress guard was walking around and having trouble breathing. I asked her why (the fortress guard are people too... kinda). She responded that while sparring, her ribs were broken and one of her lungs was mangled. I nodded, recalling hearing of such an injury. I asked her why she doesn't lie down and try to heal. She responded that it probably wouldn't heal anyway, and walked off to go 'Fortress Guard' something. I shook my head. The Guard are idiots.

Or maybe we need a surgeon? Now THAT'S worth investigating.


*By I SAW IT, I mean that I (the player) had a dream last night involving several deaths, Rick went crazy, the miners punched a hole in the volcano and flooded the fortress with magma. It was horrible.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. Screw the date I'm too hurried to look it up.
MOTHER FROAKING NOOOOOOOO!!!!! Dammit! The Vile Force of Darkness has arrived: goblins. And at the very worst possible moment imaginable. It's odd though... there only seems to be two squads.

I think we can win. I really do. we're going to take full defensive measures:
-Nobody goes outside, no exceptions.
-The bridge that makes the shortcut into the barracks will be destroyed. That forces the goblins to take the long way: the glass hallway.
-Someone is going to man the ballista at the end of the Glass Hallway. We'll probably only get one shot in, but if it helps, it will help a lot.
The military will be stationed in the barracks, and the only way for the goblins to get into the main part of the fortress will be to get through them. If the goblins get through them, we're relying on unarmed, untrained civilian dwarves to take them out. Maybe The Guard will actually help a bit.
-Hopefully, very little of this is actually called for, because of all the traps. About the only part of our defensive system that isn't set up is linking the bridge that makes up The Gate to a lever. We should REALLY get that done once this is over.


Shoruke's Log. 11th of Moonstone.
Another goblin squad has appeared, right in the same place one of the other two did. All three squads are currently rushing the fortress. I hope those traps hold up. I personally am manning the ballista.


Shoruke's Log. 14th of Moonstone.
It's taken four days, but the goblins are withing our walls. Not just our boundaries, but our walls- they've gotten through The Gate. Fortunately, the abundance of cage traps means that the goblins are reduced to less than half of their invading force. They still have to go through six stonefall traps at the ramp, crossbow fire in the Glass Hallway (since we can't get a wall into place where the bridge was, I'm stationing the marksdwarves by the hole in the wall), a corner full of more traps, and my ballista. Then they can start fighting our military.


Shoruke's Log. Some ten minutes later.
...The goblin siege is broken and they are fleeing. I think it's because so many of their comrades are in cages, and only one of their three squad captains are still free. Three more goblins were captured on their way out.

It ironically strikes me what a pacifist way to deal with a siege this is. We didn't hurt anything and were not hurt at all, yet we have a decisive victory. We're AMAZING!

Notable aside: only two of our surface cage traps were NOT sprung. All of the rest of them were. Damn but those goblins are easy to trap.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 19th of Moonstone. (early winter, year 22)
We have three full pages (minus four entries) of goblin captives in the unit list, very few cages to replace spent traps with, and no space in our cages stockpile. We also have 8 units of pearlash.

So we're going to make some clear glass blocks for The Tower, make a bunch of cages, and mine out more space around the 'animals' stockpile and make it bigger. We're also going to have to spend a lot of labor setting up all those cages and levers for the next arena match. If only you could link levers to other levers... then we could get the linkage-ing done faster with several dwarves on the job at any time, instead of just one.


Shoruke's Log. 27th of Moonstone.
The Countess had another child today. It's her first daughter. She's still carrying her next-youngest child around. Then again, I suppose she and her husband don't have anything to do all day except Noble and make mandates... they probably get bored.


Shoruke's Log. 12th of Opal. (mid winter)
Inaluct almost died. Apparently there was no job allocation to give him food or water. I found out just in time. He was hungry and dehydrated, so in desperation I had someone deconstruct the chain he was tied to. He ran to the booze stockpile, but barely got any drinking done before the Captain of the Guard himself came and took him back to the jail. I ordered one dwarf to dump a full barrel of alcohol right next to Inaluct, someone else to give him some =Plump helmet roast [13]=, and someone else to set up a bed for him. I should really have the Captain and all the nobility fired. If only I could. Political corruption in The Red Sands of Doom becomes more and more apparent by the day. Perhaps they will try to hurt Rick next.

In pretty much unrelated news, we have a total of 53 caged goblins. Boy oh boy oh boy is the next arena match going to be a doozy or what.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shoruke's Log. 27th of Opal.
The oppression by the nobles continues. With all the excitement recently, I was unable to do anything about the Tax Collector's mandate... and today was its deadline. He chose Urist the craftsdwarf to take the punishment, which is a beating.


Shoruke's Log. 8th of Obsidian. (late winter)
Urist recovered from his beating quickly. But the Captain of the Guard seems to have derived a sick pleasure from it. I think it might just be time for a replacement CotG.

Inaluct gets out of prison in a week or so. Monk will get out sometime in early spring.

The skeletal camels attacked recently. Three skeletal one-humped camels, and then about six skeletal two-humped camels. All three of the former were caught in cage traps, but the military insisted upon rushing out and engaging the latter... without equipment. Five war dogs died, and Fath the Axedwarf has only limb that is not broken or mangled, but at least we didn't lose any dwarves. It was interesting to see six skeletal camels being wrestled to... death? destruction by ten dwarves though.

[Snuffs]

Awesome story, keep it up!

Man, 53 goblins... I can't wait to see the video of that arena fight.  Bonus points if Rick soloes it

[Shoruke]

I was thinking about that... I figure that Rick would become a legendary shield user in absolutely zero time flat if we did that. I think I might just confiscate all weaponry (excluding Monk's crossbow) and have an armored, unarmed fight. It would be between our various captains (i.e. named military dwarves) and the goblins. I think I'll leave the skamels out for this one on account of they have too much stopping power for unarmed dwarves to handle easily.


Shoruke's Log. 19th of Obsidian. (late winter, year 22)
I recently ordered that every weapon and dwarf-sized piece of armor (but not clothing) be dumped into the armory. We're going to create a quantum stockpile of equipment. Once that's done, we're going to dump all the goblins' metal equipment and then melt it. For some reason the metalworkers refuse to melt goblin equipment straight from the cages.

Inaluct got out of jail today. I watched the guard unchain him... the official order was "unchain animal". Inaluct rushed towards me. He opened his mouth to say something, but I cut him off. "Let's talk about it over a drink. Sound good?"
Inaluct grinned. "Definitely."
We walked over to the food stockpile, picked up adjacent barrels of alcohol, and tossed them back in unison. Inaluct definitely drank more than I did just then, but then again he had gone for a long while without a drink.
"So?" I asked him when he was done. "How's prison?"
He paused a moment before responding. "Boring. Can I get back to work immediately? I need to get the boredom out of my system."
"Sure. Go ahead. I think there's some ash kicking around, try that. There's also a lot of equipment dumping to be done."
And he did. With amazing haste.


Shoruke's Log. 25th of Obsidian. (late winter)
About the only thing Inaluct has done since my last journal entry was to have another drink, and start churning out green glass instruments. He has this delicious plan to leave some green glass crafts (not masterwork ones but still really good) out for the kobolds, so that they become enticed by our richness and attempt to siege us with pitiful kobold weapons. And if the kobolds don't like the elves or the goblins and two groups try to siege us all at once... funniness will ensue.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 7th of Granite. (early spring, year 22 23) (DAMN)
Monk gets out of jail on the 23rd. Unfortunately his head is still broken... which means that, since I don't want to move him unless absolutely necessary, he's going to be using the prison as a bedroom for a while yet.

The fish are back. Now the fisherdwarves have something to do again. Yay. Fish.

I'm currently wondering what the elves are doing right now. If they siege us, it might suck. Or they might just get caught in the traps. Can elves avoid traps? Or maybe they're socially clueless enough to just send another caravan. Or maybe they'll- *checks what animal is outside* yup, they sent the skamels.

We're done dumping all the military's equipment, and we are now in the painstaking process of giving everyone exactly what I want them to have. We're also in the process of quantum stockpiling the captive goblins' metal equipment right beside the magma smelters. Once that's done, it's iron restockage time.


Shoruke's Log. 9th of Granite. (early spring)
Rick's outfitting is done. I honestly thought we had more steel stuff than that. Apparently he's the only one who gets a full set of steel equipment. Some of his stuff is decorated, some of it is bloodspattered (because he was using it before), some of it is both. Particularly his mace. Next up for outfitting is Flint, on account of him being the highest-ranking non-injured militant outside The Guard. Once his outfitting is done the other dwarves can just be assigned out of his squad for outfitting, then assigned back in when they're done.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 11th of Granite. (early spring, year 23) (there we go) (stupid years, having to change and whatnot)
Flint's outfitting is done. Now we once again have a fully armed legendary dwarf to head our military. Next up should be Monk... but since he's injured we'll have to dump his stuff next to his bed for when he wakes up. But since we're already in the middle of a dumping order (having two active dumps at once seems like a bad idea to me), we'll have to wait for a while before we can continue.

And the elves have arrived... as a caravan. Whatever. We need the wood.


Shoruke's Log. 16th of Granite.
I'm done 'trading' with the elves. They brought 60 logs and 10 berries. I took it all, thanked them very nicely, and reminded them which way the exit was. And now, back to administrating.

Hmm... I hope the elves send a diplomat. It's odd, we cut down every tree that's grown in the past year, but the elves still aren't being hostile towards us.


Shoruke's Log. 18th of Granite.
Oh dear god I broke the world. I was (finally) assigning the jobs for the mechanics to link up the various goblin cages... and we ran out of mechanisms. WE ACTUALLY RAN OUT OF MECHANISMS. I thought I'd NEVER have to EVER assign another job to make mechanisms, but oh dear god no, we need more. WE HAVE LIKE A BILLION BILLION DECILLION MECHANISMS AND WE NEED MORE!

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 21st of Slate. (mid spring, year 23)
We're done melting the goblins' metal stuffs. 61 iron bars now. We would have a few more, but the nobles are going crazy with the mandates...

"I want three battle axes!"
"I want some greaves!"
"I want two battle axes!"
"I don't want anyone to export greaves!"
"I WANT BATTLEAXES DAMMIT"

I'm sick of the Count Consort's battleaxe mandates. It's screwing up the military's reorganization. Bah.

I personally have been helping with the fulfillment of the battleaxe mandates and the linkages with the goblin cages.

Monk's equipment has been dumped in the jail. Shortly after doing that, I noticed that he was hungry and thirsty... and nobody was trying to give him food or water. So I ordered that his bed be removed. He is currently resting in his own bed, and he's fed and watered. On that note, I've decided that I'm going to just have certain dwarves from the military (i.e. named dwarves) collect their equipment individually, then I'm going to let the rest of the military grab their stuff, then I'll let The Guard get what's left. The Guard can use the chain stuff.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 4th of Hematite. (early summer, year 23)
I'd put the captains (named military dwarves) off duty for a bit to catch up on their sparring. Except Rick, whose only form of sparring is laying waste to the local wildlife etc. Sir Geo has become a legendary champion. Yay!

And clear glass block production is back up, thanks to our elven 'friends' (although actually I hope they become our mortal enemies pretty quick). Plus I've had Glack assigned an axe (he was happy to have one again) and he's been reducing trees to sticks like crazy. Actually it's REALLY crazy. Is Glack crazy? I should check. *runs off*

Shoruke: "Hey Glack. Are you crazy?"
Glack: "Nope."
Shoruke: "Okay, just checking."


Shoruke's Log. 7th of Hematite. (early summer)
The was a skeletal giant jaguar harassing the outside corpse haulers (they're hauling Rick's kills in for butchering). Since Rick was getting boozed up at the time, the other captains were on break, the rest of the military were clustered around their captain in the dining hall, and The Guard are useless, nothing was done about it for a few days. Then Rick finished his drink and went and killed the skaguar. (skeletal jaguar)


Shoruke's Log. 18th of Hematite. (early summer)
The human caravan is here. They're even totally set up. And we haven't got a single thing into the depot to trade yet! Garr! We have a labor crisis based on- I think- hauling equipment around. This sucks. We'd better get done with that fast.

I got re-elected yesterday, which is good. As much safety as possible for all!

And the Count Consort made a new kind of mandate yesterday: a demand. Interested, all the dwarves checked it out: "Item in Tomb." We listened to his short little blurb about his demand. It was the first one anyone had ever listened to.

"I want something. I do not care what it is, how well it is made, what it is made from, how it's made, how ethical it is, or ANYTHING. I just want it to be in my tomb. That is all."

...That guy is cracked.


Shoruke's Log. 20th of Hematite. (early summer)
We've finally got some people taking stuff to the depot! We might even have something there before they leave at this rate.

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 23rd of Hematite. (early summer, year 23)
The haulers have finally got their schist sorted out. Just look at what dwarves can do when we work together!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

We might just get done in time!


Shoruke's Log. 1st of Malachite. (mid summer)
We got done in time! They hadn't even announced they were 'about to leave'. I successfully traded with them for everything valuable they had (they insist upon bringing clothing which is neither meltable nor dwarf-sized). Their profit was about 40,000☼ worth of goblin clothing and random crafts. But oh well. It will increase our standing with them and gets us favor and reputation and stuff. Now I just need to finish my meeting with the liaison and we're successfully done with the humans for another year!

[Shoruke]

Shoruke's Log. 19th of Malachite.
The puppy producing is positively preposterous! Seriously. In one week we had like two dozen puppies born. *counts* sorry, precisely one dozen.

Clear glass production is back up. Woot. Inaluct is churning out blocks faster than the other dwarves can haul them outside... which makes sense because he only has to go about 10 steps to produce a block and the haulers have to go about 150 steps to haul it.

Oh and... a legendary titan came! It's our second encounter with a legendary monster. I ordered that only the military could go outside, and even they had to stay at about the middle of The Tower. The titan rushed towards the fortress like a herd of turtles! And then it just kept going. Pondering the question, "wtf?", I checked what it was chasing... it was a puppy. So it chased the puppy around for a bit, but the puppy outran it after going around The Tower once. Then the titan changed it's mind and ran for The Tower- for real this time- and

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No casualties!  but the titan is going to have to wait it's turn for a round in the arena, I want to get those goblins done with first. Speaking of them, the only thing we have left to do with them is to station the military inside the arena and pull all five levers. All 53 of the goblin cages are hooked up. IT'S GOING TO BE EPIC!!!

[GoldPanda]

How's the swimming pool doing? Is anyone a novice swimmer yet?