When I play with dwarves, I tend to look for areas with everything in them. Sand, flux, magma, the whole works to have a fort which will make Mountainhomes look like an elven outpost given enough time, work and love.
Then one time, I gen'ed a world where I was just unable to find the exact spot with everything I wanted. I could have gen'ed another one, but finally I found one spot which had all the things I wished for. However, there was but one obstacle.
There was a goblin tower there. But because I felt suicidal, I decided to brave the tower, took a bunch of wardogs just to cause as much damage and mayhem as possible(I got about 20 of them, besides a bunch of gear for dwarves to equip before the goblin swarm would fall on us all), then when everyone was dead I could just reclaim the place with a large group, equipped with real weapons.
And so I went, and the moment I got there, I realized a few things. First was the lack of slaughter. This was because everyone was Friendly towards my dwarves.
The second thing I realized was that I was a bit late in my attack. Turns out, that at some point in history, the tower had been captured. There were elves, humans and even a few goblins around the place, some outside, a few in the towers. Well, that made things a lot easier for me because they didn't do anything hostile towards me, so I excused myself, mined a hole through the nearest wall of a tower and settled in.
Now reel forward a few years, 60 or so dwarves, a small militia and even a few fort guards. Things were looking good, my dwarves liked hanging around the obsidian tower, and the elephants roamed peacefully, having trampled all the children and that fisherman who roamed outside when I got there(apparently they all liked to chase and attack elephants, unlike the actual warriors there).
But then, disaster struck. A goblin siege. They didn't waste a lot of time before they began their relentless march towards my tower, and the dwarves who already were shaking in their boots, being the civilians they were.
Then however, something caught my attention. A peasant had been struck down. Odd, given how everyone was inside at the moment, so I checked around.
I found that all the friendly elves and humans on the map had apparently gone to the conclusion that the siege was the fault of dwarves, and only killing all of them would make the goblin force leave. A legendary priest had killed my peasant, being on the ground floor, and was moving threateningly towards a few "On break" dwarves, until the offspring of my wardogs attacked him, and proceeded to tear the guy into pieces. Realizing that I had managed to piss off the entire world, I ordered it so that only soldiers could go outside, and all the civilians retreated into the underground areas, where I had my magma buildings, sand factories and so on.
So now I had a bunch of goblins walking towards my front door, with a number of enemies that had previously been friendly neighbors, right within my fort. I told the militia to get a move on, and began a floor-by-floor sweep. All crossbow-wielders, they made short work of the civilians, that one child and a few legendary thieves that were within the building, and finally after clearing the roof, the whole incident was over with but one injured dwarf.
However, there was still the deal with the goblins, first of which now were walking in. They soon found the number of weapon traps that I had placed as a defense-line for situations just like this, but because most of them were but a single weapon, it only stopped a few of them.
Then, one of my fort guards got aggroed when a goblin walked one tile too far, and going unconscious of a weapon trap. The guard quickly dispatched the goblin by turning him inside out from the looks of it, but it was already too late. The other goblins were so close now that he was constantly getting aggroed. He kills another goblin, which was the last one alive from all the weapon traps, and walks right into the entrance, which was completely without traps or anything but a drawbridge that I used to crush unneeded things, like all those narrow leather loincloth that goblins dropped.
The guy immediately is surrounded by three gobbo wrestlers, and a goblin spearman. Figuring that the guy is a lost case, I told civilians that they could go up again, and gave the order for someone to flip the switch which would lower the drawbridge, and kill the goblins before they would finish the guard and go forward.
However, it was already too late.
The three wrestlers were dead, along the speardwarf, and the siege was apparently over, with goblins fleeing all over the place. The guard had managed to kill his attackers without a single scratch.
But he was still in aggro mode.
So the guy runs out the fort, and chasing after the goblins, he kills them one at a time, until only six of the group of 15-20 goblins(I didn't count, really, all the slaughter got my attention) got away.
I guess fort guards are useful to have around after all.
However, it was only then that I remembered to check his gear. He was wearing full plate and a shield, but apparently I had forgotten to give him, or any of the guard, actual weapons.
So yes, he bashed every goblins face in with his bare fists. Immediately I gave all the guard spears, and they are now the Dwarven Final Defensive Spartan Tactical Weapon Squad.
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Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress (Read 210326 times)