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[Efun]

Picture this, Recruit 1 and Recruit 2 are off duty and want to train, so the get in there, take out their hammers and get ready.

Recruit1: Ready?
Recruit2:Lets do it!!!
...
...
...
"Recruit 2 has been struck down"

it seems recruit 2 wasnt there on the day they handed out chainmail suits and other armor...... poor guy, it pissed me off

[Magua]

Dumbest dorf moment I've seen yet.

So I have a Tower of Justice -- it's a tower of stairs built on top of one of my towers that goes to the very highest z-level.  There's a cage next to a pit area.  Captured goblins and the like get taken up there and thrown off as reparations for every ambush, siege, etc, that I encounter.

So I get a siege, which nets some caged goblins.  I assign them all to the cage at the top of the Tower of Justice, and one by one, they get trundled up.

Very soon after this, I get another siege -- maybe 1 or 2 months apart.  So I round up the defenses, and then set the "dwarfs stay inside" order.

The battle goes smoothly, with me only losing three dwarves, who I figured got stuck outside of the defenses.  Afterwards, I'm doing mop up, and then I go up to the tower of justice to assign the new captives.

I notice a dead dwarf corpse up there, at z-level +15.  I think, that's odd.  I review the announcements, and see that the dwarf is one of the three that I lost -- it shows that he'd been shot.

Now, at the very top, the Tower is just a single tile wide, and it has no walls, so I'm thinking, "Jesus H. Christ, those must've been some bowmen to get a shot off like that!"

But then I look at the announcements again, and see a few items up before dying, "Ast Odgubrimtar, Leatherworker, cancels Large Creature Caging: Forbidden area".

And it clicks.  The Tower has no roof.  He was transferring one of the prisoners, got to the top of the tower, realized he shouldn't be outside, cancelled the task, and the prisoner he was transferring then calmly shot him in the back as he ran inside.

The prisoner then descended the stairs back into the fort, resulting in the other two killings before being put down.

*Sigh*

[Alex Encandar]

My sig contains a funny/sad moment.

[Efun]

A furnace operator got possessed, ok thats fine...... need.....shells.... DAMNIT....

i have turtles, noone eats them...

*sigh*
so i put them outside to rot..... they dont rot fast enough, she went berserk....and the baby she had fell off and crawled INTO the lava......poor thing went right for it too, like it had a death wish.... the first baby born in my fort...first baby to die

[Alex Encandar]

Oh, here's one.

My leader was pregnant. She was pisssed since her husband had died the season before so I didn't have her doing anything, I just focused on making her happy. She was a legendary stonecrafter so I didn't want to see anything happen to her.

Anyways, so I had a section of constructed floors build to provide access to my fortress (Situated about 10 Z-levels below the floors on top of a river, awesome location, accidentally deleted the fortress >.<). I gave the order to remove the constructions.

My leader decides that she is going to help out and does so. She plumits 10 z-levels to her death at which point the infant pops out unharmed.

He's rather distressed (miserable), the death of his mom PLUS seeing it. I decided at this point that I would write him off, he had fallen into a crevice and since my fortress was entirely aboveground, I neglected to bring any picks. 3 years later I noticed he was still alive, he had survived on a rat infestation I had, emphasis on had. Anyways, he grew up to be a farmer, a happy one too. Think he ended up with 5 kids.

Anyways, that's my most amusing/disturbing story...mainly disturbing actually.

[Efun]

Oh, here's one.

My leader was pregnant. She was pisssed since her husband had died the season before so I didn't have her doing anything, I just focused on making her happy. She was a legendary stonecrafter so I didn't want to see anything happen to her.

Anyways, so I had a section of constructed floors build to provide access to my fortress (Situated about 10 Z-levels below the floors on top of a river, awesome location, accidentally deleted the fortress >.<). I gave the order to remove the constructions.

My leader decides that she is going to help out and does so. She plumits 10 z-levels to her death at which point the infant pops out unharmed.

He's rather distressed (miserable), the death of his mom PLUS seeing it. I decided at this point that I would write him off, he had fallen into a crevice and since my fortress was entirely aboveground, I neglected to bring any picks. 3 years later I noticed he was still alive, he had survived on a rat infestation I had, emphasis on had. Anyways, he grew up to be a farmer, a happy one too. Think he ended up with 5 kids.

Anyways, that's my most amusing/disturbing story...mainly disturbing actually.

I......I....wow, i mean he lived for 3 years on RATS!!! You shoulda made that kid a Spartan Dwarf

[sonerohi]

Oh, here's one.

My leader was pregnant. She was pisssed since her husband had died the season before so I didn't have her doing anything, I just focused on making her happy. She was a legendary stonecrafter so I didn't want to see anything happen to her.

Anyways, so I had a section of constructed floors build to provide access to my fortress (Situated about 10 Z-levels below the floors on top of a river, awesome location, accidentally deleted the fortress >.<). I gave the order to remove the constructions.

My leader decides that she is going to help out and does so. She plumits 10 z-levels to her death at which point the infant pops out unharmed.

He's rather distressed (miserable), the death of his mom PLUS seeing it. I decided at this point that I would write him off, he had fallen into a crevice and since my fortress was entirely aboveground, I neglected to bring any picks. 3 years later I noticed he was still alive, he had survived on a rat infestation I had, emphasis on had. Anyways, he grew up to be a farmer, a happy one too. Think he ended up with 5 kids.

Anyways, that's my most amusing/disturbing story...mainly disturbing actually.

I......I....wow, i mean he lived for 3 years on RATS!!! You shoulda made that kid a Spartan Dwarf

This is madness!

No... This... Is.... Catbronze!

[R1ck]

Things were going fine in "Bogtower the mountain-hole of blood", crafts were being made,
food was being cranked out, and the worst enemies that had come up were snatchers and thieves.
But the fortress had some military dwarves just in case, and it had three mighty weapon champions. But then...   
""Oghum Shelltest", Hydra has arrived!" So I thought; well this will be a perfect chance for my
champions to get real combat experience. So I send the three champions at the hydra,
but instead of it being a easy kill, the champions and the hydra eventually all get "over-exerted"
and so I decided to send in a markdwarf as well. He helped out  the tired warriors, and the hydra was slain.
However, then I noticed that one of the champions was lying on the ground.
He was missing his foot. The hydra must have somehow bitten it off in desperation. That champion now just lies in a bed
next to a water source, hopefully someday he will be able to get a wooden leg, so he can finally fight again.

[(name here)]

I had the "goblin swordmaster incident" in the first seige i'd ever had. basically, i figured the fact that my fort was protected by walls meant that i could turn off civilians going outside and not have to worry about anything else, which would also let them all get inside. I was wrong. my fortress guard decided to loot the bodies, so i had my regular military follow them out. there was a little bit of fighting involving my fortress guard and guard captain, and then the goblin swordsmaster broke through my entire fortress guard and the captain of the guard, and some non-guard swordsdwarves, without slowing down while leaving a trail of broken bodies. however, by then my three swordsmasters finally arrived and killed him instantly. but, nevertheless, that was a pretty bleak day overall.

[arghy]

Gobbo lords can be pretty mean, my first encounter with an axe lord left 3 hammer lords dead along with 4 recruits and this was after the gobbo climbed over 6 layers of weapon traps.

[Jude]

Nothing is sadder than a dwarf with no hope of recovery from injury. I usually just pull the plug as the most merciful option.

[(name here)]

I had two pretty sad promotions to elite marksdwarf in the only fort i've really stuck with. the first guy was promoted during the teleport seige massacure, and the strain of the deaths of several other dwarves, a bunch of wardogs including his, and a crossbow bolt to the leg caused him to start babbling and eventually drown himself. the second one got his promotion when he brutally cut down a berserk dyer.

[sonerohi]

I used a retracting drawbridge for a battledrop down into a cave river. One of the people getting dropped has a pick, it being his job to dig the designated ramps to lead them back into the sealed off tunnel, so that they can leave the water before drowning, hopefully drawing a bunch of the creatures out with them to fight in a more friendly environment. The plan works, up until the miner gets paralyzed somehow. There are only 3 of 7 ramps dug, meaning instead of a columned retreat, requiring only 3 people to use each ramp, my 21 wrestlers must now squeeze through three ramps. Two valiant dwarves ignored the lack of oxygen and charged out, allowing their squadmates and the miner some desperately needed time. Sad and funny part my two sacrifices slaughter all of them, each gaining champion immediately before death. They had tombs worthy of kings, steel coffins and bronze walls.

[KoE]

Two of my favorite funny/sad stories come from my first (reasonably successful) fortress. It was built into the western side of the map, which was a fairly sizable region near the southside, but didn't have enough room before it hit the edge of the map to really support proper dwarven living space. That's important to the second story.

The first is the story of digging out my skylight. Being fairly new to channels at the time, I dropped a large chunk of ceiling straight into the meeting hall - right on top of an unfortunately placed child. She died instantly. It also seriously injured about half of the standing military, who were sparring in the barracks right underneath the area. The miner that caused her death then went and had a celebratory round of booze.

The second was after my foray into the adamantium veins, which is to say when I consciously pulled the plug on the fortress by way of the toad demon. The dwarves put up a valiant fight, getting slaughtered to the dwarf, though two somehow managed to miraculously survive. One was a brain-damaged dwarf who somehow survived actually getting the brain damage and was housed up in the barracks. The other was my Captain of the Guard, who had apparently slain the last of the scum that were still down near the invader's Hellish hole, and on his way up to have a victory meal, suddenly realized every one of his friends was dead, and threw a tantrum. He milled around a little bit before deciding that the fort needed to replace its mayor, and, naturally, elected the sole surviving retard as the mayor. (Or expedition leader. Been a while, so I don't remember the exact name).

[Niyazov]

An ogre chased one of my plant gatherers around the map for several minutes before beating him to death right at the gate of my fortress. He then blundered into a cage trap. After leaving him to rot for a couple seasons, I decided to release him inside my barracks to kill a heavily wounded recruit who wasn't likely to recover for years. The instant that he gets sprung from the trap, the sleeping recruit lunges from his bed and cuts the ogre's hands and feet off. The crippled ogre then gets knocked across the room, smashing into a wall and collapsing dead. The injured recruit wasn't wounded further and didn't even get a title, since the ogre was killed by the collision rather than his wounds. Despite his valorous combat, the recruit had to be dragged back to his bed where he remained for several more years.