Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[tigrex]

In my experience, butchers and tanners are very picky as to when they'll work at all.

To make the butcher do his duty, the corpse must be on a refuse stockpile.  Build one, tell dwarves to gather refuse from outside, and the butcher will soon get to work.  If they don't, try setting the order manually.

(Back on topic)

Today I was experimenting with a new fort.  I was building a moat by channeling water from a nearby oceon.  Lo and behold, my miner managed to end up on a 1x1 island surrounded by his channels.  It was very tense while I set my carpenter to make a floor grate to affect a rescue.  But eventually I got my legendary idiot back on dry land.

[krumlink]

It gets annoying when you have 1 idler and you have a long list of jobs to do. I would rather them drown in a carp filled ocean than be idle.

[worldspawn]

I had a situation where the human caravan had come and the liason was inside, but then an ambush hit the caravan and in a panic I locked the doors to my fort so they couldn't get in. The goblins were easily dispatched, however, by the caravan guards so all was well, but I forgot to unlock the door so that the liason could get out.

The liason went berserk right in my meeting hall, where I had 12 partying dwarves and 6 stray dogs just chillin. It was a glorious site watching dwarves scatter in all directions while a lone human is in the center of this big empty room getting torn apart by dogs. It took a while to clean up all the chunks.

When a human siege came as a result of this incident I left my doors unlocked because I had a massive array of weapon traps set up and I wanted to see what would happen. The entire sieging army was on horseback and they ran up to my door, then promptly sat in front of it forever. While wondering why I finally saw what was wrong. The door was not locked, but was set so that it wasn't pet passable (didn't want my lone cat getting killed). Because it wasn't pet passable, the horsemens horses couldn't get in.

[Hakar]

During a goblin ambush, one dwarf and one goblin fell into a nearby pond, just north of my wall.
I almost managed to mine my way to him, only for winter to arrive and him getting encased in ice. 

[Lightning4]

Back in the 2d version, I had a hammerdwarf that got injured while sparring. His lower spine was broken, and sadly, he was going to be crippled for life. He spent most of his days in the barracks up by the front of the fort.

But then came the day of a massive goblin siege. The goblins pounded at the doors and swarmed in droves, and lo and behold... the hammerdwarf jumps out of his bed and joins the fray! Not only this, but he actually CHASES them while the squad is running. I can only imagine a furious dwarf crawling along the ground as fast as he can go, swinging his hammer at the goblin's ankles. I think he even scored a kill.

Sadly though, he sat out there for a bit. I believe he managed to get back to the barracks, but joined the fray in the next wave. Sadly, he did not survive this wave. He sure went out a hero though.

[Snugglebear]

I found out earlier that puppies in cages dont grow into dogs

Whoever told you that is wrong. The only way to stop a puppy from turning into a dog is to kill it. Being in a cage will, however, stop dogs from getting pregnant (although caged pregnant dogs can still give birth).

It also keeps them from getting adopted.

I have a set of cage traps linked to some pressure plates in my gatehouse and am currently using them to, uh, "train" animals for zoo duty by letting them sort out ambushes for me.

Herding the dogs / giant toads / jaguars back into the gate cages is a little time-consuming though.

On the thread's topic, the swordsdwarf who killed my first dragon had his hand bitten off in the process and wound up lying outside the fort, in a snowstorm, until he died of exposure.  Nice to see that dwarves treat their veterans as badly as we sometimes do in real life.

[Eater of Vermin]

In my last game, about 5 years into the fortress my Cook was elected Mayor.

This was a bit unusual for my Fortresses as it's usually someone with decent social skills and this dwarf had none, but there ya go.  He wasn't a bad sort, no extreme demands and after a term of office he was re-elected again.  That's when I noticed that his name was flashing in the Unit list.  So a quick scan of his stats...  yeah, his social skils have improved majorly but they're nothing to write home about.  Hang on...  he's now a Legendary Cook!  Woot!  I've never had one of them before!  Masterful meals in a Legendary Dining Hall - ecstasy guaranteed! 

Shortly after this he made a demand for a throne in his bedroom.

Not a hard demand to meet, right?  So, I scrolled to his room and (b)uilt a throne, the best  *<*throne*>* available right then 'cos he was the number one guy.  Then I moved on to more important things.

Come the change of season and I'm notified "Likot McMayor has withdrawn a demand" (or whatever the wording is.)  Huh?  A quick look-see and...  the throne still hasn't been built.     Apparently my haulers were too busy partying or whatever to get around to delivering furniture.

No-one was punished, no-one at all.  My legendary Cook/mayor was a really nice guy.  Instead he got all depressed, climbed to the top of my Tower of Ascension and jumped.

The resulting tantrum spiral took my fortress down from over 100 dwarves to about 40 odd.

After my dwarves got their acts together again, I decided I'd move that throne (which still hadn't been built!) into his tomb.  Just as a memorial and to rub my dorfs noses into the reason why they weren't getting any more masterwork meals.

The funny thing is that it was quickly built, almost as soon as I designated it.  And from that moment on there was always a dwarf sitting in it, eating a meal even though there was no table.  Even though they had to walk through the Legendary Dining Hall to get to the tomb after picking up their munchies and it was never full to capacity.

Almost as though they were feeling guilty and paying due respects...

[Shurikane]

1) Caravan arrives.
2) Snatcher appears!
3) Caravan shoots the snatcher down.
4) A marksman who is part of the caravan mysteriously goes berzerk while inside the fortress and on a bed who belongs to one of my farmers.
5) Marksman starts wailing on the sleeping farmer.
6) Farmer wakes up and retaliates.

And the winner is...

THE FARMER!

 

[Jetman123]

1) Caravan arrives.
2) Snatcher appears!
3) Caravan shoots the snatcher down.
4) A marksman who is part of the caravan mysteriously goes berzerk while inside the fortress and on a bed who belongs to one of my farmers.
5) Marksman starts wailing on the sleeping farmer.
6) Farmer wakes up and retaliates.

And the winner is...

THE FARMER!

 

What'd he do, punch him in the throat?

[Shurikane]

I have no bloody clue.  All I know is that the farmer made it out with nothing but a slightly mangled foot, of all things.

[LegacyCWAL]

I have a (somewhat) similar story:

In a previous fort, I had a Hydra show up while most of my available population was cleaning up after a battle (this was before the mass hide command came along ).  I got everybody inside before the Hydra made it to my ridiculously heavily trapped front gate...except the Hoardmaster.

The Hydra caught up to him just two tiles from the first row of cage traps.  The clerk just wouldn't run away for some reason (couldn't figure out which way to flee, I guess).  Figuring my Hoardmaster was dead anyways, I drafted him so he'd at least go down fighting.

And then the record keeper, a dwarf who had done nothing but scribble down numbers for nearly eight years somehow won.  He didn't have a single piece of armor on, and wasn't even dabbling in wrestling, but he won.  An accountant beat a megabeast to death with his bare hands.

[Alabaster]

And then the record keeper, a dwarf who had done nothing but scribble down numbers for nearly eight years somehow won.  He didn't have a single piece of armor on, and wasn't even dabbling in wrestling, but he won.  An accountant beat a megabeast to death with his bare hands.

You must have set his precision very high, he got all critical hits!

[arghy]

I was smoothing the walls of the bedrooms and when i went to check on the progress i saw a strange flashing on the bed, it was a wife and husband getting it on.... with 6 masons smoothing the walls in the same room... i bet the noise dident keep those 2 up! I have a single cage next to the butchers shop and kennel, i keep it filled with extra puppys/kittens because i dont need them pathing everywhere and for some reason i had connected a lever... i think it was left over when i kept it as a gobbo pen. So a dwarf starts to throw a tantrum and whats his way of getting even? RELEASEING OVER 40 CATS AND DOGS INTO MY GODDAMN FORTRESS! The cats seem to instantly run towards peasants and become their friends while the dogs dutifully stay neared the cage. THE CATS! THEIR IN MY HEAD! TELLING ME TO DO THINGS!

I now keep the cats in the cage labeled 'encase of food/bone/leather emergency'.

[Shurikane]

An ambush!  Curse them!
An ambush!  Curse them!

Urist McWrestler: "Stand still!"



*creak*

Urist McChampion: "LEEROOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY  JENKIIIIIIIIIIINS!"

*FWUMP*

*SPLASH!*

*creak*

*FWUMP*

Urist McChampion: "I'M DROWNIGING!"



Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Swordsman
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Swordschick
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Swordsboy
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Swordsdude
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Spearthing
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Speardandy
Urist McPullthelever [Water] Gobbo O'Speardudette
Urist McPullthelever [Teamkills] Urist McChampion

Urist McChampion punishes Urist McPullthelever for a teamkill!

<TEAM> Urist McPullthelever: Dumbass.



Long live the self-cleaning moat trap:



Oh yes, and I have a marksdwarf embedded into my bridge now.  My military went from 8 to 4, and 3 of those deaths were from teamkills.

[Duke 2.0]

 Teamkillers: Always the bastard with the flamethrower Lever.