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Author Topic: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress  (Read 210920 times)

John Johnston

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #75 on: September 04, 2008, 06:17:49 pm »

That was... cruel of you.   :o
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Oh
God it's been a lovely day
Everything's been going my way
I had so much fun today
And I'm on fire

Normandy

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #76 on: September 04, 2008, 06:22:34 pm »

Theoretically, if you build the dark-green square of your forges/smelters on top of the channeled tile, would that block nasty creatures from coming up? (I channel only one square for each workshop, with the magma moving through pipes underneath them)
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Snikers

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #77 on: September 04, 2008, 08:32:28 pm »

Theoretically, if you build the dark-green square of your forges/smelters on top of the channeled tile, would that block nasty creatures from coming up? (I channel only one square for each workshop, with the magma moving through pipes underneath them)

Hmm.

My current (and only) magma glass furnace has its dark square over the only opening to magma - reasoning that that was the actual "furnace" of the furnace, it would only be realistic to put it over the heat source.

I've never had the problems of fire imps popping out of the workshop like others say, and the tunnel of magma has no bars/fortifications/blockages whatsoever. I always attributed this to the fact that creatures were unlikely to randomly stumble into it (it's at the end of a dwarf-carved 1-tile wide tunnel with a hard right turn), but maybe it's because its impassible?
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RebelZhouYuWu

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #78 on: September 04, 2008, 09:27:53 pm »

Under legends I have a page about a person who was Wagon with no name that apparently died in one of my forts.
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Lord Dullard

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #79 on: September 04, 2008, 10:18:32 pm »

Under legends I have a page about a person who was Wagon with no name that apparently died in one of my forts.

Well, I think that wagons are actually regarded as 'creatures' by the game engine, so this is entirely possible.
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Hamster Man

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #80 on: September 05, 2008, 12:24:04 am »

I had a fort in the end years - got my king, maxed out population, and more food and treasure than I knew what to do with. The thing was almost 10 years old, and the wagon caravans were so big it took nearly a full season for them to finish loading all the crap I gave them and leave.

So, interesting enough, after I had ALREADY sold all my stuff to them, they were still considered there, when my noble had a change of mood and decided he didn't want to export all of that stuff. So the Hammerer when nuts, and started hammering everyone for "violating export prohibition".

As most of my people spent all day in parties and such, everyone was super strong and such... including the hammerer. So after killing about 40 people and injuring another 27, the rest started tantruming because they lost their friend/friends. (remember, parties all day, so everyone was everyone's friend).

The funny part was when the King got killed by a tantruming Royal Guard. Ahhh good times.

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So there's that, as well. It looks like the only chronic problems that water can't cure are nausea and cave spider bites.
Which, coincidentally enough, can be cured by magma.

Haven

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #81 on: September 05, 2008, 11:26:23 am »

My first decent fort was in a low swing, and a child suddenly tantrumed in the dining room, seizeing a puppy and beating it to death, splattering puppy blood everywhere. After this, the puppy's war dog mother arrived and tore the kid to shreds, just as his parents arrived to obligingly clean up the dwarf chunks.
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Vaftrudner

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #82 on: September 05, 2008, 01:16:45 pm »

My current philosopher creeps me out. He sits alone in his room all day with a gazelle totem and about thirty caps. I can see him sitting there, petting the skull, dressing it in pretty caps, hugging it, talking to it, going to bed with it.. Err. I should lock that door.

Glacies

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #83 on: September 05, 2008, 01:57:39 pm »

I just breached the pits and my champions were busy fighting the spirits of fire in the big chamber when my miner gets hit by a fireball and goes unconsious. The fisher/butcher/herbalist of my starting seven comes to retreive the injured miner, only to have a spirit of fire kill her right in front of him. Then, as he turns to run away, the spirit of fire attacks him. He counterstrikes and hits the head clean off. It goes flying for four squares. Not bad for a dwarf with three skills at skilled and some social experience. He vacated the premises post haste. I laughed my arse off, cause I was terrified he was going to die.

Konis

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #84 on: September 05, 2008, 04:26:43 pm »

My current philosopher creeps me out. He sits alone in his room all day with a gazelle totem and about thirty caps. I can see him sitting there, petting the skull, dressing it in pretty caps, hugging it, talking to it, going to bed with it.. Err. I should lock that door.

Yeah, you can't trust them dorfs that spend time thinking . . .

My sad/funny/plucky underdog moment was with an underground pool.  I'd started a map to test something, I forget what, and broke into the pool.  So I drafted a few dwarves and had them clean it out.  Well, three giant olms later, and the cleaning process wasn't going too well, and all the critters starting marching into my fortress and killing everyone off.  However, I had one lone recruit who had dodged into the water and started drowning because he couldn't swim.  Then he gets attacked by some -man or another, and he fights him off.  Then another one.  And another one.  By the time he's killed off all the lizardmen and all, he's leveled twice in wrestling and three times in swimming.  But because of unhappy or no stairs or something, he never did make it out of that pool.
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MoonCabbage

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #85 on: September 06, 2008, 05:22:14 am »

during some of the first releases of the z-axis i had some pretty epic fortresses collaspe in some pretty horrific and unquestionably funny ways.

probably my greatest fort came to an end when i had decided my fortress guards and army were strong enough to take on the HFS... boy was i wrong...

they got slaughtered by the dozen add demons pouring out...

needless to say my entire fortress was slaughtered except for a single baby?

the demons overlooked the injured baby as they slowly tore apart my dwarves. the baby then began to crawl through the gore and dead bodies until it reached my bloody pond where it decided to drown itself...

i don't think i've ever cried for a game as i did with that wee lass... i can't imagine the horror it took to make a baby drown itself... leason learned tho about ponds...
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Vaftrudner

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #86 on: September 06, 2008, 08:35:38 am »

Wait a minute, isn't it normal to find miserable, dehydrated children crawling around in the refuse stockpile? Maybe I should stop drafting mothers...
« Last Edit: September 06, 2008, 09:53:33 am by Vaftrudner »
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Mirefrost00

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #87 on: September 06, 2008, 03:21:56 pm »

HFS???
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DI7789

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #88 on: September 06, 2008, 03:23:17 pm »

HFS???

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Gone on hiatus due to RL. Major apologies to all involved in LP thread.

Frelock

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Re: Funny but sad/disturbing moments in Dwarf fortress
« Reply #89 on: September 06, 2008, 04:01:26 pm »

A moment of mine in DF that was both funny and disturbing was when my cat adopted my butcher :-\. (Chinese food anyone?)  The butcher then proceeded to kill all of his pet's offspring.
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All generalizations are false....including this one.
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