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[Flaede]

One of my first forts, have a mediocre bridge system where I can drop invaders into a multi z level fall into a nice pit of spikes.

Had 2 guard dogs near it to get any that didn't die to it.

Pulled the lever to stop a kobald thief, and the kobald thief falls and dies.

Look back, oh shit, one of the guard dogs is missing.

War dog has been impaled on spikes.  FUCK.  Dig entrance to the pit of spikes, and a dwarf simply hauls the dog off of the spikes and drags it back to its chain.

The dog is very injured at this time, a broken lung, multiple broken legs, ribs, etc.

Once the dog is put back on the chain, it gives birth to a litter of puppies.

The mother dog survived until the entire fortress fell.

I had a situation like that with a modded-in spider pets. They were cat-sized but more sturdy. At any rate, a female (my ONLY female) lost all its legs after being chewed on by a bear. I was on a glacier, and couldn't get more spidey-pets as all the arriving cages had only dead animals in them... the legless brood spider lived many years stuck at the top of a windswept tower, never moving another tile, and it's descendents numbered in the hundreds before the death of my fort to the Penguin Plague.

[m4davis]

Probably one of the most disturbing things I have seen in Dwarf Fortress   

All was well and fine in my third year fortress, Farming was going well so everyone had plenty to eat. The local still was churning out vast amounts of alcohol and I had managed to pick out such a great spot that I was able to create steel items and my small army was able to keep the small goblin raids at bay pretty easily without any casualties... it was all a little bit too peaceful.

One day a dwarf by the name of Fath Urisstan is taken by a fell mood, I think to myself - fantastic! another one of my dwarves is going to create a legendary item for me to add to my collection.  He then looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible... hmmm that message didn't sound good.
He then proceeds to claim a butchers shop - at this point I don't like where this is going as all the goodies I had hunted had already been cut up and sent to the kitchen.

This is where is gets weird.
Fath grabs the nearest kid (who's name was Reg), drags  him back to the butchers shop and promptly chops him to bits! he then begins a mysterious construction... No one around took any notice, not even the guys parent nor did anyone punish Fath - Damn that kid must have been hated.

Anyway after Fath had finished 'constructing' his artifact I finally got to see what was so important that he had to carve a kid up to make...

"Moralgraves", a dwarf leather bag - worth... get this - 1200 

You will be pleased to know Fath is still alive and well as a master Leatherworker, he has a wife and a only child named Cog. Lets hope he doesn't run out of bags anytime soon 



Here's a screenshot in case you don't believe me

thats a type mood and also a very fitting name for it isn't it

[Jack Dandy]

A female marksdwarf falling down a narrow pit trap. It was supposed to be so deep it would kill stuff.

It wasn't. She had to beat off Goblins with a crossbow for about a week before I digged her out of there. All that gore and miasma...

[IpunchFaces]

I've once had this professional dwarf huntress come in from a migrant wave. After getting her to work and observing some of her kills, I've discovered a very strange habit in her killing style.

She would incapacitate them by aiming their lower limbs first. "That's normal," I hear you say. But let me finish.

Next, she would would aim for the throat. Always the throat. No matter how many shots it takes, once the throat is hit, she'll stop shooting.
She'll then walk up beside the victim and just stand there. The first time she did it, I thought she ran out of bolts and decided to bash it to death. But I was wrong. She'll wait until it suffocates or bleeds to death, before bringing it back to the butcher's.

 And she did it every. single. time.

I imagined her just staring down on her victim, watching as red froth starts to foam over its mouth, with it desperately reaching for the arrow lodged in its throat. And she'll stare at it straight in the eye, watching as panic slowly dulls into the cold stillness of death.

She jumped into a magma pool a few seasons later. Her clothes were neatly stacked in her room. The only thing missing was her named crossbow.

[Jack Dandy]

..That one goes in my story folder.

[Patroclus]

After completing a trade, but before the merchants departed, the mayor gave a new mandate to not export copper.  Shortly thereafter, my Legendary Organizer/Manager is arrested for violating an export order, and assigned to 180 days in prison.  Now, my four prison cells were set up as a rehabilitation center, with a bed, table and chair, and food and drink stockpiles within reach of a silver chain.  So I just assigned the desk and chair to her and figured this would actually be an improvement -- she would have nothing to do but approve work orders, and couldn't take off to attend parties or haul stuff.

However, she was also a mother, with a baby.  Who was of course dropped in the apartment complex when mom was dragged off to prison, and began to slowly wander the hallways.  Then mom starts spamming "urist mcprisoner cancels manage production orders: seeking infant" messages... continuously.  I would have just let her die, except that she was one of the original seven, a Legendary organizer and it was really the mayor who was responsible.

I tried to assign the baby to a burrow in the mother's cell, which didn't work since the baby wouldn't move. I tried deconstructing the chain to let her go fetch the kid, but the palace guard grabbed her and dragged her back into a new cell.  She wouldn't sleep or eat or drink because of her maternal instincts, so soon she was drowsy, hungry and thirsty, while standing on a food stockpile and adjacent to a bed (and wearing the deconstructed chain around her neck still).

Probably because of the stress being put on her, with about 30 days left in her sentence, she had a miscarriage.  This added to her unhappiness, and she still wouldn't eat the food or drink she was standing on, so she was Starving, Dehydrated, Very Drowsy and Very Unhappy, all while chained within easy reach of food, drink and a bed.  I don't know why nobody would bring her water, probably because she was Seeking Infant.  Of course, I'm getting spammed with cancellation messages, and nobody else had any Organiser skill, so I couldn't get any manager orders confirmed either.

I finally decomissioning the last jail cell and deconstructed her chain again.  This time, there were no new cells to move her into, so even thought the guard had been decommisioned, one of the dwarves issued her a beating and her sentence was finally over.  To keep her from snapping, I reassigned the mayor's house to her (it was the poshest dwelling I had) and she did manage to avoid having a tantrum -- somehow.

The most poignant part? The other dwarves who would walk blithely past the wandering infant and past the jail cell without helping.  Some even would come into into her cell, to eat the food and drink out of the prison stockpile, while standing next to this poor distraught starving dehydrated mother.

[Aptus]

My fortress grew, much too quickly, it attracted far too many enemies with a goblin ambush before I was prepared. My lone militia dwarf, Urist McLoneranger was sent out alone to face to swarming enemies while the rest of my dwarves took shelter deep below.

Urist McLoneranger was equipped with the only set of armour I had and a sword I had stolen accidentaly borrowed for a prolonged period of time from an elf caravan. He was the only dwarf with any military experience after chasing off a couple goblin thieves and badgermen. With no one to cover his flanks he still stepped outside with confidence pumping in his bearded heart.

But avast, what is that on the horizon? Is that... thats Urist McLumberjackandhe'sokay... he was caught outside by the goblin lashers!

With great bounds, far beyond what any normal dwarf could manage, Urist McLoneranger rushed towards the throng of goblins to save his friend... But when he got there, Urist McLumber had already managed to cleave the heads off of five goblins all by himself. McLoneranger stepped forward to congratulate his comrade on a job well done and offer him a place in the town militia, maybe even command of his own squad someday. But McLumber, frothing at the mouth and with bloodshot eyes must have still been in his berserker rage because when McLoneranger stretched forward his open arms he proceeded to lop limbs from the militia commander one by one.

I still have no idea what the hell happened, all I know is McLoneranger will get an honourable burial and McLumber is now held for questioning behind double-layer andesite walls until I figure out if it is safe to let him roam the fortress again.

[Broseph Stalin]

I built a one square room with a upright spike trap with 10 glass spikes hooked up to a lever. I used it to butcher cattle in the funnest way possible by having a dorf constantly pull the lever back and forth perforating the animal. Well I forgot to lock the door and it turns out my butcher just couldn't wait to get to work and went into the room to get the cow. Then he was predictably stabbed horribly and one of his friends ran in to get him. Then she was predictably stabbed horribly and one of her friends ran in to get her. I didn't notice anything was wrong until I got the message the first dorf died. They were luckily right beside the hospital with my grand master diagnoser and legendary surgeon/wound dresser on call but on taking tally of the injuries I noticed the surviving male dorf lost his phallus and right testicle. 

[Entih]

I had a dwarf tantrum over something silly (his friend was perforated by goblin archers), and as such he broke furniture and got shoved into jail faster than you can imagine.  While in there, he threw a fit and also broke his chair, adding time to his sentence.  When he was released, the captain of the guard came in, unchained him, and instantly started punching him straight in the face to deliver some random secondary beating, knocking four teeth out into the cell.  Strangely, he didn't care, and was ecstatic despite being made nearly toothless.

[Musashi]

[awesome story]

Why hasn't this been made into a book/movie yet?

[IpunchFaces]

I built a one square room with a upright spike trap with 10 glass spikes hooked up to a lever. I used it to butcher cattle in the funnest way possible by having a dorf constantly pull the lever back and forth perforating the animal. Well I forgot to lock the door and it turns out my butcher just couldn't wait to get to work and went into the room to get the cow. Then he was predictably stabbed horribly and one of his friends ran in to get him. Then she was predictably stabbed horribly and one of her friends ran in to get her. I didn't notice anything was wrong until I got the message the first dorf died. They were luckily right beside the hospital with my grand master diagnoser and legendary surgeon/wound dresser on call but on taking tally of the injuries I noticed the surviving male dorf lost his phallus and right testicle.

Ahah, that happened to me too once. In my case, it was because my dwarves kept going in and killing themselves due to a rock I set for disposal at the corner of the room, and I forgot to tell my lever-dwarf to stop working. 

[CriticallyAshamed]

I just read way back on page 24
"As documented by the wiki, babies throw themselves off of cliffs after losing their mother"

and the realisation hit me that Toady must have actually coded this in as a behaviour... There's a tear between me of how efficient this is in regards to problem solving contrasted against the fact that it is INFANT SUICIDE CODED INTO THE GAME.

[MC Dirty]

I just read way back on page 24
"As documented by the wiki, babies throw themselves off of cliffs after losing their mother"

and the realisation hit me that Toady must have actually coded this in as a behaviour... There's a tear between me of how efficient this is in regards to problem solving contrasted against the fact that it is INFANT SUICIDE CODED INTO THE GAME.

Actually, the game doesn't care about whether it's an infant or not and they also don't actively commit suicide. According to Toady, melancholic dwarves just simply ignore all holes in the floor. They still path around walls and stuff, but instead of pathing around holes, they just path over them. That's why you sometimes get a melancholic dwarf fallling down, climbing up stairs, falling down again, climbing up the stairs etc. It's really just pathfinding.

[Flaede]

I just read way back on page 24
"As documented by the wiki, babies throw themselves off of cliffs after losing their mother"

and the realisation hit me that Toady must have actually coded this in as a behaviour... There's a tear between me of how efficient this is in regards to problem solving contrasted against the fact that it is INFANT SUICIDE CODED INTO THE GAME.

Actually, the game doesn't care about whether it's an infant or not and they also don't actively commit suicide. According to Toady, melancholic dwarves just simply ignore all holes in the floor. They still path around walls and stuff, but instead of pathing around holes, they just path over them. That's why you sometimes get a melancholic dwarf fallling down, climbing up stairs, falling down again, climbing up the stairs etc. It's really just pathfinding.

Wait, so they're NOT actively trying to jump off the highest point in my fortress? Because that's what it seems like.

[Table Turning]

I've never had any of my melachonic dwarves kill themselves by anything but thirst.