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[Noodler13]

My current fortress has a real problem with dwarves being swept off a waterfall to their deaths, so as a result i decided to make an indoor pool for my idle dwarves. using a bridge hooked up to a pressure plate in the doorway of the pool room, i would have the dwarves/ pets get periodically dumped into the pool whenever someone entered or left the room.

more recently, even though the miasma was going mad in that room from the puppys that couldnt seem to swim, i had no choice but to assign the pool for drinking water as we had ran out of liquor and more dwarves were being swept to their deaths trying to drink from the river.

even more recently i built a drain on the pool to empty out the dead dogs and what have you. which resulted in many many injuries from falling rocks. i havent figured out why but they would slide to the south west and knock peoples teeth into their asses

[crazysheep]

So let's review.  Everything < Serrated steel blade traps.

Fixed.

[Hanslanda]

I was building a mug megaproject, and a silly farmer architect built himself into the wrong side of a wall. I built stairs up to him, but he refused to leave. He just stayed there. Later I realized that I only built an up stair.
I lol'd just a bit.

[SRD]

So let's review.  Everything < Serrated steel blade traps.

Fixed.

Tbh it doesn't make sense because dragons are flying creatures, and I thought flying creatures wer- OH WAIT A MINUTE.. DRAGONS DON'T HAVE WINGS.

[misko27]

So let's review.  Everything < Serrated steel blade traps.

Fixed.

Tbh it doesn't make sense because dragons are flying creatures, and I thought flying creatures wer- OH WAIT A MINUTE.. DRAGONS DON'T HAVE WINGS.

and, ironically, cave dragons, who in their description are listed as being twisted into not having fire and wings, DO have wings, albeit functionless ones.

[Arnarinn]

There was this bug in 07 where children had the wrong clothes thoughts this was making every child going mad, berserking or babbling naked around, and most of the military had to kill their own children. Some of the children even took revenge in their dead, and took their parents legs.

So now I have three master crutch walkers in my military, and a giant graveyard just for children.

[knutor]

I've got a siege, with 84 invaders, some on mounts.  They are stuck in the lower right corner and out of sniper roost view...  So I lower my drawbridge and open the cat cage, to lure them into range.  No cats go outside.  20some cats in the cage, not one leaves the fortress.  My mayor decides to leave, even though I have him in a danger burrow... He then proceeds to conduct a meeting outfront of my fortress, during a SIEGE... DOH!  Unable to remove job, from job list, its greyed out.  Looked down job list and about 3 other dwarfs are going to join the meeting, a Hunter, and two generic haulers Dorfs.  Strange...  No emisary on the map.  A few hanger on, Traders on the perimeter of 5x5 region.  Could that be who he plans to conduct this out of bodyfortress meeting with?  Dunno.  In about 2min, he's gonna be dead, tho.  Unless he settles the SIEGE in a committee.  Knutor

[misko27]

Unless he settles the SIEGE in a committee.  Knutor

If he does, he's either a pacifist, or the most manly dwarf ever to live. If the Former, Elven sympathizer and no loss, if the latter, uh:

Goblin swordsmen: what the Hell? is that a dwarf? Is he coming right at us?
Goblin Leader: Is he armed?
Goblin swordsmen: No, no armor either. Maybe suicidal?
Mayor: Yo Goblin Bitches, You think you can come to MY mother****ing fort and start sieging me? ME? You must not know who I am. I AM THE MOTHERDWARFING MAYOR, AND FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, YOU BETTER HAVE A BETTER REASON FOR BEING HERE THEN SIEGING, OR I'LL BEAT YOU TILL YOUR MOTHER DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
Goblin Leader: Shit, Sounds like he's mad, quick pretend we're foreign merchants of arms.
Goblin Lasher: Ya, Hello, we are foreigners, we have come to sell you the weapons yes?

[Hanslanda]

Unless he settles the SIEGE in a committee.  Knutor

If he does, he's either a pacifist, or the most manly dwarf ever to live. If the Former, Elven sympathizer and no loss, if the latter, uh:

Goblin swordsmen: what the Hell? is that a dwarf? Is he coming rigght at us?
Goblin Leader: Is he armed?
Goblin swordsmen: No, no armor either. Maybe suicidal?
Mayor: Yo Goblin Bitches, You think you can come to MY mother****ing fort and start sieging me? ME? You must not know who I am. I AM THE MOTHERDWARFING MAYOR, AND FOR THE LOVE OF ARMOK, YOU BETTER HAVE A BETTER REASON FOR BEING HERE THEN SIEGING, OR I'LL BEAT YOU TILL YOUR MOTHER DON'T RECOGNIZE YOU.
Goblin Leader: Shit, Sounds like he's mad, quick pretend we're foreign merchants of arms.
Goblin Lasher: Ya, Hello, we are foreigners, we have com to sell you the weapons yes?

This both made my day, and made me want super diplomats REALLY REALLY BAD.

[onewingedangel94]

I got a forgotten beast to spawn on my reclaimed fortress, everyone started on the wall when:


There used to be a staircase. As far as I know Giant Feathered Tarantula's can't get down.

EDIT: The horses in the picture ended up getting into a fight with it. One falling off the wall (luckily safely into my trading depot) while the other beat the daylights out of Aco Singedwhip (the beast). The beast sustained heavy damage, and the horse survived easily by making the beast roll off the wall, after which the last 5 dwarves from my departure jumped on the beast and ripped it apart. His corpse now sits on my door step.

[aoxoa]

1. I decided it was time for magma smelters and forges so had dug down to the magma oceans. Well I get a nice area dug out and then channel a line for the furnaces/forges and suddenly a pile of smoke happened and my poor legendary miner gets destroyed. Weird thing is that all his clothes remained but his body and pick axe I never saw again.

2. Yesterday I had the great idea of channeling above a little square place I had made for my forts entrance, trying even with supports. Well one collapsed with a miner (Had happened like 10 times while doing this, and most just got bruised, nothing bad). Anyway for some reason he is engulfed in a cloud of boiling magma or something, and dies instantly. He didn't even drop down so I have no clue what happened, but was thinking of screenshotting but never ended up doing it.

That was above ground, with no magma near me at all.

[Lord Shonus]

Most smoke clouds from cave-ins display as boiling magma, but do no damage. It sounds like a tree fell on him.

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Likot Honestbronze, legendary marksdwarf, hunter of elephants before migrating to Silentthunders, only Dwarf to join the Pleated Stakes who wasn't from the starting 7. The Dwarves are out on a hunting mission to clear the walls of the caverns of a large group of Troglodytes, 10 in number. The blockaded spines, 3 spearlords are sent along with the sacrificial constructs, 3 hammerlords and the Pleated Stakes, 1 spearlord and 3 elite marksdwarves.
The Dwarves absolutely destroy the troglodytes. Urist Likot Lion delivers executing shots where they can be found in the twisted passages of the caverns.

Then there's the Baron.
After just getting married to Vabok, Baron Muthkat decided to have one hell of a hunt. I seriously felt sorry for the Trog.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Muthkat is a better shot than Likot and it was completely clear too. When Muthkat was attacked by a zombie Trog he just shot it in the head. The other Dwarves just watched as this ecstatic Dwarf pondered about married life and oh so casually went about either failing to deliver the killing blow (up until the heartshot at the end) or was being cruel.

I don't know which makes a better story!

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

1. I have a volcano in my fort.
2. Lye Maker goes into a fey mood, screams for metal bars.
3. I scramble to get a magma smelter set up to smelt all the native gold or platinum I had lying around.
4. I get it set up, FINALLY.
5. I struggle to get any dwarf to actually smelt the goddam gold. After a LOT of this, including multiple dwarves getting on the job and then going to eat or sleep halfway, one of them finally drags the gold to the forge (incidentally he went and got it from one of my distant mines, not the nearby stockpile, and lugged it extremely slowly halfway across the map and dozens of z-levels. Anyway, he finally sits down and starts smelting.
6. "Udib McAsshole, Blacksmith, cancels smelt native gold nuggets: Interrupted by zombie fire imp."
The fuck? OK, I check the vicinity and don't see any fire imp...he goes back to work after a bit.
7. Same message again! This time I draft his ass and sure enough the imp popped right out of the hole in the floor. He seemed to punch it backwards back into the magma...but then out it popped again and he charged at it...straight into the magma. Died instantly and the imp retreated.
8. Just as the message of "died in the heat" came up, the Lye Maker snapped and went berserk - and was killed almost instantly, I'm not sure how.
9. The two jerks are interred in adjacent rank-and-file coffins and AFAIK my magma industry is still going nowhere until I figure out a way to stop fire imps from flying up out of holes.
10.
11. Profit!

Anyway...IS there a way to stop imps from flying up a z-level into my forge? Should I just station soldiers right next to the forge at all times, or is there a way to build that'll avoid this?

Incidentally I'm trying to build all of my major rooms ringed around the magma pipe so that if I ever decide the fort needs to be purged, I can mine a few key squares for a very nice doomsday device.

If you build it out of magma safe material, then place the dark green spot X over the magma, it works

[CaptainLambcake]

loud y u necro?