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[Axe27]

So, one fine day in the Salves of Virginity (I'm not kidding), the wailing cry of an infant was heard. Twice. And lo, the effective military of the Salves of Virginity was crippled. So, in one day, I go from three wrestlers dwarfs, and two possible marksdwarves recruits, to two wrestling dwarves and marksdwarf. Oh damn. You see, the problem with my military having children is that if their baby dies, they head for the nearest cliff and toss themselves off.

The second reason, was because Husbands don't take losing their women well. Married dwarfs don't make good dead dwarves, and it's a real pain in the ass to calm the tantrumming dwarf, especially when your military is has lost a few dudes.

[Charlemagne]

The Sheriff of my first fortress that didn't self-destruct in the first 20 minutes always carried her children into battle with her. She did this constantly, having new babies as necessary, until her husband died and she lost this ability.

Lucky for her, years of engraving had made her a consumate badass and she was always able to kill goblins and babysit at the same time without difficulty.

[Skizelo]

Rambo with child? It's annoying, but I did find out that babies fall faster than mothers when plummeting to their chasamy doom,

[Fossaman]

I did find out that babies fall faster than mothers when plummeting to their chasamy doom

Take that, Galileo!

[RPharazon]

I don't worry about the tantrum spiral. My military dwarves are either so badass or so terrible that they all die instantly or win epically, respectively. You heard me.

But yes, the last time I had a really big military, the dwarves were busting out babies nonstop. As soon as a baby turned into a child and then into an adult (2 years), a new baby popped up.

[sphr]

not to mention the minor irritation that talking babies (and some child still stick to mothers after growing up from baby) into battles that is simply asking for trouble, as a stray hit will kill the stupid offspring anyway and trigger off the series of bad things.  In the end, I even try to take females off external workers like woodcutters and hunters, to prevent children from being taken out of the fortress.

We need a new "nursery" building and a new "nanny" profession.

... just had this amazing thought : what if a nanny goes crazy/throws tantrum....

[Zako]

An interesting thought indeed...

Sherrif: Ok you criminal, stand still so I can... HOLY SHIT! FLYING BABIES!!

[Wild Goose]

I what kind of damage a thrown baby does?
Hmm...don't think it can be tested in Adventure mode, unfortunately.

Make a hilarious standard for damage.  Forget the Iron standard, we're going on the Baby standard.

[JoRo]

Tantrum spiral?  Obviously your dining room is insufficiently legendary.  I had a dwarf lose his wife, two children, and a friend to the goblin menace and he was still feeling fine.  I should check his personality though; he could've just been a very sociopathic fellow.

[Axe27]

Wow. I just figured out that my other two wrestlers and my marksdwarf are female. Goddamn it. Screw it, let their offspring die.

Tantrum spiral?  Obviously your dining room is insufficiently legendary.  I had a dwarf lose his wife, two children, and a friend to the goblin menace and he was still feeling fine.  I should check his personality though; he could've just been a very sociopathic fellow.

Man, my wife and children just died, but my dining room is AWESOME!

[Kanil]

It works! Really!

A good dining room makes a few deaths irrelevant.

[sphr]

It works! Really!

A good dining room makes a few deaths irrelevant.

I seem to notice that off-duty sparring soldiers seems to have similar effects.  They can happily continue sparring while their spouse and children dies.  bloodthirsty beards and stone-cold hearts.

[Lord Dullard]

I did find out that babies fall faster than mothers when plummeting to their chasamy doom

Take that, Galileo!

No, this makes sense. Dwarven babies are more streamlined because they haven't yet had time to develop a full beard, so they are more aerodynamic and fall faster. Duh! 

[Skanky]

They also start falling with an initial velocity...

[Muz]

Sexist! Lol, I think that's why real world militaries took so long to accept them. Even then real female humans cause trouble by using their free surgery to get implants.

I just found out that almost all of my nobles are female. I don't think it does them much harm.. they're the politician types who don't bother to get married. It's a bit confusing figuring out which names are female and which are male.