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[Lord Dullard]

As implied by the title, what have your silliest artifacts ever been?

Although I cannot remember the name, my silliest was a unicorn leather backpack. It had rings of silver all over it, and on it was the image of a unicorn in unicorn leather. I automatically assumed that the Dwarf that made it was gay, and I changed his name to "Urist McNaughty" Gravehammers

The next THREE artifacts that fortress outputed had pictures of this girly little artifact in different mediums, ONE IN DORF BONES.

You should have changed his name to Lisa Frank.

[Kyselina]

Hmmmm... Was Lisa Frank in original war?

[Khain]

I forget the name by one of my leatherworkers made a groundhog leather Loincloth that menaced with spikes of alunite and had rings of obsidian...

I also have a dog (aka puppy) bone bed that menaces with spikes of aluminium and platinum : /

[Kidiri]

Not very silly, but quite odd. I have had a couple of moods, and they have produced a large amount of things. Among them a Green tourmaline chain, a perfect alexandrite, a turtle bone shield and a second turtle bone shield. Yes, you have read it correctly. Two out of five of my artefacts are turtle bone shields.

[Joseph Miles]

Not very silly, but quite odd. I have had a couple of moods, and they have produced a large amount of things. Among them a Green tourmaline chain, a perfect alexandrite, a turtle bone shield and a second turtle bone shield. Yes, you have read it correctly. Two out of five of my artefacts are turtle bone shields.

You're doing it wrong, it's 5 out of 2. Also, 3 out of 2 people have problems with fractions

[Hyndis]

Whenever a perfectly capable bower takes a turn, barracades himself in, steals acres of wood, yards of silk and a ton of steel, works furiously for a month, and then proudly presents a blowpipe, you have the most ridiculous artifact.

It's a tube! No matter how much stuff you can cram on it, a crossbow is still more impressive!

When they're actually usable, if that ever happens, THEN that'd be a decent artifact. Until then, it should be taken off the list of possible artifacts, just like bows. Toss it in a weapon trap maybe?

Yup, build it in a weapon trap in a noble's room if you want to increase the value of the room...or to just kill the noble.

[Hyndis]

Not the silliest, but the most macabre of all artifacts I've ever had was a horse bone bin. It menaced with spikes of horse bone. Carved on it is an image of flies. Carved on it is an image of purring maggots.

Created by a small dwarven girl, probably about 5 years old. 

She creates a box made of bone, decorated with images of flies and maggots?! 

[Alfador]

Not the silliest, but the most macabre of all artifacts I've ever had was a horse bone bin. It menaced with spikes of horse bone. Carved on it is an image of flies. Carved on it is an image of purring maggots.

Created by a small dwarven girl, probably about 5 years old. 

She creates a box made of bone, decorated with images of flies and maggots?! 

"I *need* a pony!!" "...what, you thought I wanted one to ride?"

[Proteus]

Oh if we talk about macabre artifacts.

In one of my last fortresses, some time after a devastating undead Titan attack that killed about 15 dwarves and lowered the mood of the remaining darves to a great extent oner of my bone carvers got into a fey mood.
He let out a grisly laugh, claimed a butchers workshop and butchered one of my carpenters that was near to him.
Afterwards he created:
Mugshith āthast, "The torture of braving", a dwarf bone warhammer

Never got to equip one of my soldiers with it however, as shortly thereafter Toady released a new version of DF.

[Grand_Marquis]

No silly artifacts yet, but all of them so far have images engraved of the first artifact crafted at my fortress.  So I'm hoping that eventually I'll end up with one impressive enough that a future artifact will have an image of that one engraved on it.  Then I could line the three up next to each other in a statue garden and drive dwarves insane with thoughts of recursion.

[Kishmond]

I once had a fell dwarf make a dwarf leather veil. First of all, I didin't even know there was such an item, and second, imagine the scenario:
A young dwarf newlywed couple holds their wedding. The bride walks down the isle wearing the skin of a dead dwarf over her face. Everyone is ecstatic. They have attended a splended wedding reception recently.

[Captain Xenon]

just got one here.... a wood burner was possesed, so he grabed a craftshop... 3 rocks... and steel bars from the caravan (still waiting for magma to fill the channel under my magma forge).

Shocksimple the Wealths of Boredom, a diorite earring. encrusted with alunite, studded with steel and encricled with bands of diorite. adorned with hanging rings of diorite.

not too bad at 40,800 dwarfbucks. only the second artifact of this new fort (you know the drill, new DF update means a new fort right?), i got an interesting yellow(orthoclase) floodgate before that worth a measly 4800.

[Teldin]

An aluminum short sword.


The dwarves couldn't even use it as a weapon, it showed up on the list of "finished goods" rather than the weapons list and nobody would pick it up if I ordered them to wear swords.

[Blue Eagle]

I got you all beat. Thread over.

[A_Fey_Dwarf]

Damn that is silly. You win!