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[EverybodylovesTJ]

As implied by the title, what have your silliest artifacts ever been?

Although I cannot remember the name, my silliest was a unicorn leather backpack. It had rings of silver all over it, and on it was the image of a unicorn in unicorn leather. I automatically assumed that the Dwarf that made it was gay, and I changed his name to "Urist McNaughty" Gravehammers

The next THREE artifacts that fortress outputed had pictures of this girly little artifact in different mediums, ONE IN DORF BONES.

[Proteus]

I wouldn´t call it silly, rather fascinating, but one of the first artifacts in my last dwarf fortress had a reference to itself:

Kezatanzish, "The dangerous Alchemies" - A Rose gold chest

One of its decorations was:
On the item is an image of The Dangerous Alchemies, the rose gold chest in goat leather


I always wonder if the image of the rose gold chest in goat leather also shows the image of the rose gold chest in goat leather on the chest within the image

[NTheGreat]

The most bizarre artifact I've ever seen has to be a bed one of my dwarves made quite a while ago:



I dread to think what was going on in that dwarf's mind...

[Tcei]

In my current fort my armorsmith/miner/now legendary mason made this and named it after his self.
Clouds seem rather popular in my fort...

[Joseph Miles]

The most bizarre artifact I've ever seen has to be a bed one of my dwarves made quite a while ago:



I dread to think what was going on in that dwarf's mind...

.....Kinky

[JacobGreyson]

Just a few minutes ago, I had a jeweler go Secretive and create a Perfect Green Zircon. And on that PGZ, there was an image of that very same PGZ in green zircon. Talk about ultimate recursion in artifice.

[Axe27]

My dwarves don't make useless artifacts only artifacts that I have no use for at the moment. Millstones, for example, when I have three rooms filled with plump helmets.

[Tcei]

My dwarves seem fond of naming things after theirselvs... this is the second artifact from the same fortress

[Rockphed]

I'm trying to decide if my Fine Pewter High Boot or the copper amulet it contains an image of is sillier.

Edit:  And I just got another artifact started.  Lets see if it is any good.

[John Johnston]

"Losisnist, "The Faint Fear", a moghopper bone crown.

This is a moghopper bone crown.  All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is decorated with turtle bone.  This object menaces with spikes of moghopper bone.  On the item is an image of a blade weed in moghopper bone."

I can see why they gave it that name.  "Fear me!" said Urist McMoghopper, shortly before his death at the hands of a kobold, "for I have single-handedly slaughtered several small river creatures and fashioned their bones into this awesome crown!  Decorated with a weed!"

[Teldin]

Damn, you guys. How much shit can you possibly cram onto that one chain?

[Rockphed]

Damn, you guys. How much shit can you possibly cram onto that one chain?

Try it with an earring.

Suvasrabed, "The lustrous Freckle," an Andesite earring.
"This is an Andesite Earring.  All Craftdwarfship is of the highest quality.  It is encircled with bands of Bismuth bronze and Ash.  This object is adorned with hanging rings of sailfin molly bone and menaces with spikes of green glass.
On the item is an image of Kulet Statedreams the dwarf and dwarves in Andesite.  Kulet Stakedreams is surrounded by the dwarves.  The artwork relates to the ascension of the dwarf Kulet Stakedreams to the leadership of The Leses of Proliferating in 84.
On the item is an image of a many-pointed star in Nickel.
On the item is an image of Rigoth Postkey the dwarf and Strodno Ruthlessfur the Hermitic Rogue the goblin in turtle shell.  Strodno Ruthlessfur the Hermitic Rogue is striking down Rigoth Postkey.  The artwork relates to the killing of the dwarf Rogoth Postkey by Strodno
Ruthlessfur the Hermitic Rogue in Flightylies in The Drenched Finger in 22 during the Duel of the dwarf Rigoth Postkey and the goblin Strodno Ruthlessfur the Hermitic Rogue.
On the item is an image of a chestnut in Picture Jasper."

[Skizelo]

Whenever a perfectly capable bower takes a turn, barracades himself in, steals acres of wood, yards of silk and a ton of steel, works furiously for a month, and then proudly presents a blowpipe, you have the most ridiculous artifact.

It's a tube! No matter how much stuff you can cram on it, a crossbow is still more impressive!

[Joseph Miles]

Whenever a perfectly capable bower takes a turn, barracades himself in, steals acres of wood, yards of silk and a ton of steel, works furiously for a month, and then proudly presents a blowpipe, you have the most ridiculous artifact.

It's a tube! No matter how much stuff you can cram on it, a crossbow is still more impressive!

When they're actually usable, if that ever happens, THEN that'd be a decent artifact. Until then, it should be taken off the list of possible artifacts, just like bows. Toss it in a weapon trap maybe?

[Wild Goose]

I don't know if it's the Iron Low Boot, the Pig Iron Anvil wrapped in bands of Green Glass, the Perfect Chrysoprase wrapped in bands of chyrsoprase, or the recursive aluminium plate mail.
I think I'd have to go with...
Ameshfikuk Kizbiz Kezkig "Tempestfields the Deer of Connecting", a Pig Iron anvil.  Wrapped in glass.  And apparently at least five times as good as any normal anvil.
Is it just me, or does that name sound a bit Hebrew or something?

So far, I have eight artifacts, and almost all of the images relate to the founding of the Saramand Iger by the Walls of Fire in 201.