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[Zaratustra]

HEADACHE: You wake up with a real bad headache. You decide to not go adventuring today and instead curl up with a blanket and a book. The book menaces with spikes of cow leather.

SPIN KICK: You spin kick the head off a goblin. It bounces off another goblin and kills him. A hollow voice utters, "DOUBLE KILL."

BURST THROUGH WALLS: You walk right through the wall of the bar. The mayor and the drunks look at you in surprise. You shout, "OH YEAH!"

REPEAT WHAT ENEMIES SAY IN A GIRLY VOICE: The giant says, "I am Erith Moromathel. Prepare to die!" You reply, "oo, I am eriff mowomaffel, pwepawe to dy."

ABILITY TO INSULT OTHER CREATURE'S MOTHERS: You tell the goblin his mother was a cocker spaniel. The mother is in the siege, and takes umbrage with it.

USE DWARVES AS CATAPULT AMMO: Also useful for transportation.

[scjohnno]

PART-WIZARD, PART-CONTRACTOR: Wary of leaving the safety of your tower lest your necromantic wizardry be discovered, you coerce a group of kobolds into retrieving a reagent for your latest spell.

[ September 26, 2007: Message edited by: scjohnno ]

[John Hopoate]

It was said that Mark Antony would sometimes dress up as Dionysus (The Greek god of wine) and ride around Rome in a chariot pulled by lions

I wish to be able to do this.

[Grue]

Damn, Zaratustra, that was too funny!

[Capntastic]

quote:Originally posted by John Hopoate:
<STRONG>It was said that Mark Antony would sometimes dress up as Dionysus (The Greek god of wine) and ride around Rome in a chariot pulled by lions

I wish to be able to do this.</STRONG>

It would be difficult to explain what absolutely wicked glee this would stir up within me.

[Hellzon]

HERO OF THE LAND
You, as Mayor of Underhills, send the brave adventurer Zuket Bodiceripped to kill the evil minotaur that menaces the city. Zuket returns with the minotaur's head, and it is mounted in the town hall, which is now called "The Hall of Zuket".

(Stuff I want to do as a fortress ruler or influential adventurer. Dedicating places to people would be the one thing not in the bloats.)

[BDR]

TORTURED BY THE KOBOLDS:

After taking the quest from the mayor, you enter the kobold fortress, only to accidentally trip a falling rock trap.  Thanks to your great strength and toughness, you are only knocked unconscious, but when you wake up you find you have been bound and also that a group of kobolds are looking at you with evil glints in their eyes.  One of them grabs a pair of what seem to be pliers, force open your mouth, grab one of your teeth and wrench it out.  They laugh as you scream in pain.

:/ Probably a bit too close to the other torture-related goals, but teeth should get in somehow....

[ September 26, 2007: Message edited by: BDR ]

[WillNZ]

SHOULD'VE THOUGHT BETTER: You cross a rope bridge overlooking a chasm when suddenly it snaps making you plummet to the earth. As you fall, you look and see all the goblins looking down, laughing. They had sabotaged the bridge!

BAD DRINKS: Your distiller picked some suspicious-looking mushrooms and distilled them. Now the entire tavern is filled with dwarves fending off invisible enemies. His distilling license is taken away.

REBELLIOUS SERVANTS: The race of pig-goblins you crossbred to serve as your servants are starting plot amongst themselves. Eventually, they make a break for it, starting a tribe in a god-forsaken wilderness. Their empire grows until they conquer the world.

BLIND MAN'S REVENGE: Your eyes have been taken out by a rival. Instead of living out your life as a beggar, you learn to compensate for your blindness by improving your other senses. With keen hearing you manage to sneak into your foe's camp and slit his throat during the night.

[Zengief]

quote:Originally posted by Zaratustra:
<STRONG>...BURST THROUGH WALLS: You walk right through the wall of the bar. The mayor and the drunks look at you in surprise. You shout, "OH YEAH!"
...</STRONG>

DESSERT: You come across an elf colony in a tree.  They are making fudge striped cookies.  You look for some Pringles and coff-ay.

beat that Zaratustra... 2 in 1

Also,
SPONGE: You dive into the ocean, and on the sea floor you find a pineapple house.

[ September 26, 2007: Message edited by: Zengief ]

[Vengeful Donut]

CABIN FEVER: You are stranded with a friend when a cave in occurs. After you go to sleep, he kills and eats you.

THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY: You are captured by kobolds. Upon waking, you find yourself in a cage with other prisoners and begin to plot your escape.

BEER GOGGLES: After a night of partying, you wake up next to a woman that is five feet tall and has no beard.

BELOVED HERO: The dragon has been vanquished. A celebration is thrown in your honor. A woman invites you to spend the night. The next day you are driven out by a mob with her husband in the lead.

[ravensword227]

quote:Originally posted by Vengeful Donut:
<STRONG>BEER GOGGLES: After a night of partying, you wake up next to a woman that is five feet tall and has no beard.
</STRONG>

Excellent. It took me a moment to get it.

[Pitchblack]

WATCH YOUR STEP
You were sent to kill a dragon by the mayor of a nearby town. After nearly dying in the battle you emerge from the beasts lair only to trip and fall down a chasm.

HOT HOT!!!!
After defending the fortress from the demons, the mayor shuts off your section of the fortress. Not sensing any immediate danger you go to get the nearby !!Cow leather loincloth!!

Fear the E's
While heading towards a freindly fort you hear a twitch in the woods.
you keep walking, until you hear the shrill of a arrow, Feel a sharp pein in your chest and hear the laugh of a elf.  Seconds later you ehar a Elephant trample several elves and laugh as your head is squished.

Cursed
you find a empty ruins with no skeletons or any kind of defenders, just alot of pillars with weird writing. You walk further into the ruins to find a adamntite Longsword. you proceed toe xit the ruins with the sword in hand, but as soon as you step away from the altar the sword was laying on your head explodes and the sword turns into dust.

HE SHOULD HAVE SAVED
After finaly making your way into the human town and slaying the King of the civilization you sit in the Solid gold throne and proceed to send a message to the capi-------  -3INFALATE ERROR -------------

[ September 27, 2007: Message edited by: Pitchblack ]

[Turgid Bolk]

Maybe you're just being sarcastic, but all those are possible already except the second to last one. (Well, there are minor differences.)

YOU WIN!: After battling your way through the Dungeons of Doom, slaying countless enemies, buying better equipment in strange underground shops, identifying potions of various colors, and polymorphing your pet kitten into a black dragon, you have finally recovered the fabled Amulet of Yendor. You sacrifice it on the alter of your god. You have ascended.

Oh wait, that's a different game. Nevermind.

[ravensword227]

quote:Originally posted by Turgid Bolk:
<STRONG>YOU WIN!: After battling your way through the Dungeons of Doom, slaying countless enemies, buying better equipment in strange underground shops, identifying potions of various colors, and polymorphing your pet kitten into a black dragon, you have finally recovered the fabled Amulet of Yendor. You sacrifice it on the alter of your god. You have ascended.

Oh wait, that's a different game. Nevermind.</STRONG>

You're suggesting that Adventure mode be winnable?  Blasphemy!

[Turgid Bolk]

Well, maybe you don't really "win" so much as "become a demi-god." But being a demi-god gets boring after a while. Might as well quit when you're ahead.