Hi!
First of all, don't sleep. When you move on the big map, you will heal damage instantly and also thirst and hunger will be gone and not re-appear.
Secondly, drunks more or less fell prey to the recent improvements. Basically, if someone has a proper job, they will not be drunks, and the new world gen makes sure that most people have proper jobs -> few drunks.
As for others joining you, I am not sure but I think it is because you are weaker than them. Many villagers have spent years fighting and so on, and they are high-level whatnot. The cheat suggested also implies that it is a strength issue.
For successful adventuring, your setup isn't bad. As was suggested before, drop throwing. It is not really needed and actually amounts to cheating currently.
Do keep swimming (either Novice or Swimmer) - you will be grateful when that wolf knocks you into that pool of 7/7 water.
First thing after startup should be setting your combat options. I suggest setting attack to 'strike' and normal dodging to 'stand ground'. Leave charge dodging at 'depending on foe'.
During combat, simply strike normally with your weapon. If the sword gets stuck, move back a tile to get it out. If you lose possession of it, you need to grab it with your swordhand in wrestling and then move back again. If you end up 'on the ground', stand up immediately (only move if someone is blocking you from standing up).
Wrestling is used when you grab your weapon in such a situation. In addition, the skill is also responsible for dodging attacks. So, it is not a wasted investment.
Like all rogue-likes, this game is relatively tough. So, I suggest that you first train with smaller fry. If you gen a lot of large caves in your world, I guess you should have plenty of cave denizens to play with. And if something shows up telling you to "Prepare to Die", at least in the beginning, run away ASAP.
Only once you are really confident in your skills in combat should you try to do a quest monster.
Well, at least these are my experiences/thoughts.
Deathworks