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[zenny]

Hello, new poster.  Been meaning to post before but I never really had too much of interesting things to post...till now.
I am still a newb to DF, only been playing recently, so im still learning some of the ropes...like trying not to get my miners killed by something dumb I did.

Anyways...my little dwarf fortress was being slowly built and I needed some wood. I sent some woodcutters just beyond the gates of my fortress when...the dreaded rhesus macaques decided to play with the dwarves.  Unfortuantly, the woodcutters brought the silly things to the fort where they ran rampant throughout the fortress doing nothing other than scare the poor dwarves.  Finally, I had some immiagrants come and I made a couple of them into recruits where they, with the help of the woodcutters, finally killed the pesky buggers.

But a little later, my bonecarver got into a fey mood! He claimed the craftsdwarf shop and took some bone and some wood and made this:

I dont know about you but I dont want to go near that thing. Tis a shame I cant use that for decoration on the main gates, I am sure a floodgate made out of monkey bones would prolly scare off a few locals.

Dwarves make such the oddest things.

[userpay]

Oi try thongs with pictures of faries on them.

[Moogie]

My current fort has "The Chastity of Ruin", a naked mole dog leather loincloth.

[Dadamh]

You can build it somewhere and it increases the value of the room.

Nobles might enjoy an artifact floodgate.

[EvilCheerio]

I think increase is an understatement. You could have a 2x1 room with that floodgate in the back, and a bed in the front, and it would be considered royal quality. Well, thats how it works with most furniture. Thats what happeneded with my artifact weapon rack.

[Loctavus]

One of my dwarves made a floodgate out of purple spinels, one of my first artefacts ever. I put it proudly on display in the dining room for them to gawp at while they ate. They loved it so much images of it cropped up on about three other artefacts.

[Teldin]

My favorite artifact that I made in my last fort was a harlequin opal door. Yes, a door, made of gems. It was something like a harlequin opal door menacing with spikes of obsidian and engraved with a scene of the fortresses's founding in platinum, worth about 125,000 dwarfbux.

I made it the King's bedroom door. 

Edit: also what was awesome was that the middle symbol for the door was the gemstone symbol, *, rather than the usual + sign for doors.

[Ruttiger]

I once got a leather skirt that was adorned with hanging rings and all sorts spikes.  Dwarves like weird stuff.

[Jay]

Incidentally, there are a lot more rhesus macaques in DF then there are in the world...
It seems like there's groups of 50-100 of them in every fortress area I embark upon...

[Eatnobles4breakfast]

My idiot bone carver went fey on me, and grabbed ONE TURTLE SHELL. Somehow, with all his immiganation, he turned it into an earing with bands of turtle shell on it...the worst artifact in the history of the dwarf-a-verse...

[JustinKace]

Worst ever? I think not!I was once blessed with a mudstone scepter that menaced with spikes of mudstone.

[deadlycairn]

In my new fortress I just had my first mood. It was a possession . If that wasn't bad enough, the object he made was simply a kaolinite sceptre with birch spikes, only worth 3500 monies. AND he kicked out my master craftsdwarf to make it. He's lucky I don't send him hunting cougars/ use him to test my elf trap.

[ricree]

In my most recent fortress, one of my woodworkers made a birch scepter studded with gems named "the perishment of women".  That's right, my craftsdwarf just went out and built a pimp cane.

[tigrex]

My possessed dwarf just churned out a claystone crown decorated with claystone.  Image of a mountain and a boot on it.

Frankly I find it charming because it was my very first artifact.  But since I can't sell it, build it or use it as a weapon or armour, what use is it to me?

[ricree]

One of my dwarves just made a leather loincloth called the stalker of peaking. I initially read this as "the Stalker of Peeking", which led me to believe that my dwarves have some dirty, dirty minds.