The story began like all the great legends of the past. A number of dwarves ventured into the barren lands beyond to start a new life; this time at the edge of terrifying mountains, to spread and prosper in Riddlesmith, an obsidian tower surrounded by a lava moat. Work and craft were rewarding, but with plump helmet and tower cap forests beneath the freezing surface life became decadant and boring. And when neither invasions nor skeletal giant eagle swarms could provide distraction, something happened.
Something stupid. The dwarves began seizing caravan goods (well, they didn't need any supplies anymore, but who am I to judge) and provoking sieges. Not that a big difference, so they dug tunnels and ramps connecting surface and chasm/magma vent. Bad decision: while it was nice to see humans and goblins being shred by the undead, it also cost too many immigrant lives, over time making Riddlesmith a black death trap in the middle of nowhere nobody would want to enter.
However! Problems are just chances for fun and experience, and with more booze and food any dwarf could ever dream of (let alone consume) as well as the idea of something like a
Gobbitorium a solution showed up (or not?). Why not spare the attackers' lives and
put them in reeducation camps provide them shelter and nourishment in these harsh lands. Those who would like the dwarven civilization and begin a new productive life of food hauling and magma channel cleaning shalt have the chance to do so. And those who don't shalt have the chance to live a modest life, have fun and love amongst their kind, and breed, giving me the chance to fetch their little offspring to give it the chance to live a productive life of food hauling and magma channel cleaning for the dwarven civilization.
A truly glorious idea. And it worked perfectly, there was only one drawback: it didn't work at all. I built whole underground towns for these naked monkeys. Literally palaces. I built them a dome of glass to provide them with sun light (the green puddles everywhere were of epic quantity). I started a food production based on these ugly green surface growing plants. They have an artificial stream to bath and fish in, and they also got their clothes back. It all doesn't help. This communist scum just refuses to cooperate.
It's not that they don't accept their new habitat, the floodgates are just waiting to be opened to let the humans being washed down into the bottomless pit. It's that my dwarves cannot adopt them or steal their babies. I didn't try goblins, because I see no worth in adopting one of those sneakers (my wardogs are my cannon fodder), and I didn't try elves, because
there are no elven civilizations due to too low temperatures on the whole world elves are just unspeakable cannibals nobody wants to deal with. I think humans should have at least the flexibility needed to adopt other civilizations. I don't care about armor size discrepancies since they won't get drafted and over the years Riddlesmith became a nudist club.
I have not lost hope, there must be a way! Riddlesmith will have the immigrants it deserves to have! So if anyone knows (and lets me know) how to get humans or other useful humanoids into my fortress, no matter if through
accidentally actually implemented gameplay, creature file hacking, or nefarious smelter reactions, I'd be happy like a six year old girl and dance and sing chants of praise and rainbows and whatnot.
p.s.: While we're at it, I'd also like to adopt a tentacle demon, if it's possible to let him socially integrate. He could even be the new baron of the fortress, I wouldn't mind.
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Topic: Adopt-A-Human (Read 982 times)