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[Qloos]

Oh god, the carp are biting me.  These things are deadly!  They're pretty dumb though.  Two of them -drowned- somehow for christ sakes.   I've killed 7 fish so far.  But they keep biting me! 

Nope, they ganged up on me, ripped off my hand, and took me for a ride down stream.  Total kills: 12.

and also, what?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Horse attacks The Shopkeeper but He jumps away!
The Horse attacks The Shopkeeper but He jumps away!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper's right shoulder has been badly sprained!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower leg with her right front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower arm with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Horse misses The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper counterstrikes!
The Shopkeeper grabs The Horse by the throat with his left hand!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right lower leg with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper's right knee has been sprained!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her right front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left foot with her right front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right foot with her right rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left hand with her right front hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
They tangle together and tumble forward!
The Horse is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her right rear hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper misses The Horse!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the lower body with her left rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper leg with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand from the side with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body from the side with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper grabs The Horse by the tail with his left lower leg!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left rear hoof!
It is mangled!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her left rear hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower leg with her right front hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper bites The Horse in the right rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It collapses into a lump of gore!
Rorec Iquaduqueh, Shopkeeper has been struck down.

It then goes on to attack a fishery worker.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the left hand with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Fishery Worker's first finger, left hand has been bruised!
The Fishery Worker charges at The Horse!
The Fishery Worker attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Horse counterstrikes!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the left lower arm from behind with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Fishery Worker rushes by The Horse!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the right upper leg with her left front hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Fishery Worker charges at The Horse!
The Fishery Worker attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Fishery Worker charges at The Horse!
The Horse looks surprised by the ferocity of The Fishery Worker's onslaught!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the left rear leg with her left hand!
It is battered!
The Fishery Worker collides with The Horse!
The Fishery Worker is knocked over!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the right lower leg with her left front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the left lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the right lower arm with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the lower body with her right hand!
It is bruised!
The Horse looks sick!
The Horse's spleen has been badly bruised!
The Horse's lower spine has been badly bruised!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the right lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Fishery Worker's right elbow has been sprained!
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the right rear leg with her right lower arm!
The Horse breaks the grip of The Fishery Worker's right lower arm on The Horse's right rear leg.
The Fishery Worker attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the left hand with her right front hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse vomits.
The Horse kicks The Fishery Worker in the right upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Fishery Worker charges at The Horse!
The Horse looks surprised by the ferocity of The Fishery Worker's onslaught!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the left front leg with her right hand!
It is broken!
The Fishery Worker collides with The Horse!
The Horse is knocked over!
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the upper body with her right hand!
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right hand on The Horse's upper body.
You pick up the Horse corpse and put it in your Rope reed backpack.
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the left front leg with her right hand!
The shot glances away.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the left rear hoof with her right hand!
You lick the Horse corpse.
The Horse is no longer stunned.
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the head with her right hand!
It is battered!
You lick the Horse corpse.
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the head with her right hand!
It is broken!
The Horse's brain has been bruised!
The Horse struggles in vain against the grip of The Fishery Worker's right hand on The Horse's left rear hoof.
You drop the Horse corpse.
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right hand on The Horse's left rear hoof.
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the right front leg with her right hand!
The shot glances away.
The Horse gives in to pain.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the right rear leg with her right hand!
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right hand on The Horse's right rear leg.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the head with her right hand!
The Fishery Worker gouges The Horse's left eye with The Fishery Worker's right hand!
The Horse's left eye has been torn out!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the left front leg with her right hand!
It is mangled!
The Fishery Worker gouges The Horse's right eye with The Fishery Worker's right hand!
The Horse's right eye has been torn out!
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right hand on The Horse's head.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the right rear leg with her right lower arm!
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right lower arm on The Horse's right rear leg.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the right rear hoof with her right upper arm!
The Fishery Worker releases the grip of The Fishery Worker's right upper arm on The Horse's right rear hoof.
The Fishery Worker grabs The Horse by the lower body with her right upper arm!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the right rear leg with her right hand!
It is battered!
The Fishery Worker punches The Horse in the head with her right hand!
It is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass!
 gthothil, Horse has been struck down.

[Bullion]

The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It collapses into a lump of gore!
Rorec Iquaduqueh, Shopkeeper has been struck down.

It stood on its hind legs and kicked him in the chest?

Great stuff.

[Qloos]

The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=XqZ4UUDoZGs

Whats better, a scimitar or a longsword?

I have an army of 11 men with me.  What should I do?

[Cavalcadeofcats]

Longsword does 20% more damage, but is more than twice as heavy. If you've got the strength, it's a better choice.

[R1ck]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Horse attacks The Shopkeeper but He jumps away!
The Horse attacks The Shopkeeper but He jumps away!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper's right shoulder has been badly sprained!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower leg with her right front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower arm with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Horse misses The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper counterstrikes!
The Shopkeeper grabs The Horse by the throat with his left hand!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right lower leg with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper's right knee has been sprained!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her right front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left foot with her right front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right foot with her right rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left hand with her right front hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
They tangle together and tumble forward!
The Horse is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Guard regains consciousness.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse charges at The Shopkeeper!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper arm with her right rear hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse collides with The Shopkeeper!
The Shopkeeper is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower arm with her left front hoof!
It is bruised!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Shopkeeper misses The Horse!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the lower body with her left rear hoof!
It is battered!
The Guard is no longer stunned.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left upper leg with her right rear hoof!
It is bruised!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper attacks The Horse but She jumps away!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right hand from the side with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body from the side with her left rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Shopkeeper grabs The Horse by the tail with his left lower leg!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the right upper arm with her left rear hoof!
It is mangled!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her left rear hoof!
It is broken!
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the left lower leg with her right front hoof!
It is battered!
The Shopkeeper bites The Horse in the right rear hoof!
The shot glances away.
The Horse kicks The Shopkeeper in the upper body with her right rear hoof!
It collapses into a lump of gore!
Rorec Iquaduqueh, Shopkeeper has been struck down.

I love how the shopkeeper tried to bite the horse in the hoof near the end there. Somehow the shot glanced away.

[Ioric Kittencuddler]

I got kicked by a horse in the left upper leg once when I was a kid.  It was only a light gray wound though.  Nothing serious.

[Cajoes]

Life's Great School of Hard Knocks taught me at a early age proper horse handling.

Mainly from watching other gits take the knocks. XD

I sincerily hope our dwarves have some form of pony brand horse, the horses I'm familiar with are beyond huge. Heck their head alone is slightly bigger than my entire torso.

[hactar1]

Herding fish is actually my favorite choice for training weapon skills.  Once I get swimming trained up, just swim down any river and you'll get scores of fish and hippos and whatnot piled up in front of you.  With enough swimming and agility, you'll actually be faster than them, and then it's slaughtering time!  I killed like 150 fish in a few minutes, and trained my hammer up several levels.  It also trains swimming at the same time, obviously.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Fish drown when not in the water - because of their aquatic tags in DF, and in real life because of gills.

[Kishmond]

I was chasing a school of fish down a river, it was getting bigger and bigger by the minute. By the time I backed it up against a brook I had slaughtered ~200 fish.

[Duke 2.0]

I was chasing a school of fish down a river, it was getting bigger and bigger by the minute. By the time I backed it up against a brook I had slaughtered ~200 fish.

 When my adventurers get a swarm of fish in a river-source, they often swarm me. Not a problem, I can block them all right?

 Well, turns out blocking +10 attacks a turn really tires you out. To the point where in but a few turns my adventurer collapses in exhaustion. Then the fish get me.

[Cthulhu]

I don't mess around with fish anymore.  I was fighting a jaguar and it fell into the river.  It was like piranhas or something, they tore it apart.  I jumped in, just for fun, and lost an eye before I got away.

[RavingManiac]

Once, I chased a swarm of carp down a river. I managed to catch up with them, and proceeded to get surrounded and torn to shreds. Some of my limbs/chunks ended up a few tiles away from the riverbank.

[Eatnobles4breakfast]

Oh, real brave, attacking fish!
Isn't it more glamourous to attack a great old one or something?

[DeadorK]

You do not want to mess with some fish.