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[Lord Dullard]

Sorry to repeat a topic, but the old thread really got me into a writing kick. I've started back on the book I was working on, and I've found that it's just been flowing out like crazy. For the first time I'm actually enjoying what I'm creating enough to want to keep going, and I have hopes of actually finishing this someday.

I'd really like some opinions. I know a few people who can help me out with grammatical/technical aspects (and I'm sure there are a few) - what I'd really like are just general reactions to the story. What parts of it are good, which parts aren't so good, which parts are interesting, et cetera.

Each chapter is roughly ten pages of single-spaced size 12 text, in .doc format.

Chapter 1 - http://www.mediafire.com/?hmwdqingbfk

Chapter 2 - http://www.mediafire.com/?0vhxlg2ghgo

Any input is very much appreciated.

[Shikogan]

Yeah from what i only glanced at the first line it looks pretty interesting ill give it glance over fully tonight and get back to you tomorrow maybe or the next day, always been a big fan of writing stories myself just never really finished one got to 44 pages though lol

[Shikogan]

Twas a nice story one of the better amateur ones I've read for a while but it needs more of a background into how that mirror did what it did pretty soon in the story and also as soon as i saw faeries i just went "....." just call them the fae and leave that bit out because she didn't know what he was and then suddenly she did but hey if you want to include it in your plot and development fair enough i say. and also you never mention that she's naked again and his uncomfortableness to it so just a few inconsistencies.

Anywho great read for the most part

[Xotes]

I NEEDETH AN ACTUALLY WORKING LINK! ARGH!

But yeah, ya get an error when someone uses the linkages.

[Little]

Mind if I post a link to all my stuff?

It's hosted on DeviantArt

Or I could use spoiler tags, and those wanting to read them could do so without me increasing page size by default.

[Lord Dullard]

Whoops, sorry! Working links:

Chapter 1
Chapter 2

Edit: I certainly don't mind if you post a link to your stuff here, Little.

[Little]

http://little1994.deviantart.com/gallery/#_browse

Enjoy!

[Anfold]

Chapter 1

Fiction should flow like a river.  Yours has many rocks.  Transitional phrases are your friend.

[Xotes]

Also, if you have someone say something like 'It's the rothash! The enemy!', it's basically saying 'It's the enemy! The enemy!' Redundancy is not your friend when it comes to things like this.

[Squeegy]

You could also say "It's the rothash! The enemy is here!", I suppose.