Hey, noone can have a sparta reference without a completely historically inaccurate stereotype of the 300 movie (which I actually would have enjoyed more if I hadn't just completed a unit on historical Greece)!
Make sure you build a massive well in your barracks to that people fall in while sparring/trading/bringing messages about you constantly kicking people into wells etc.
Oh and make sure that you build a nice wall of bodies. You can't be a spartan without a wall of bodies.
And don't forget to completely ignore the nice, standing fortress behind you and charge out to the 20 million persians (goblins or elves, or both) with only 300 troops.
While you're at it you may as well forget about including any reference to the ENTIRE ALLIED ARMY that supported you in the battle against the 20 million persians, I mean, who wants to hear about the valiance and courage of other people when it's so cool and 1337 to say you beat the persians with 300 men.
What? Oh, sorry. I seem to have wandered.
Disclaimer:
I'm not claiming to know loads about the battle, I just happen to have certain pieces of information that people ignore when considering how realistic the movie was. For example the spartan and allied forces didnt actually make a huge stand outside on a narrow ledge piling up like retards for pills. They use only a small amount of troops and fought off each of the persian skirmishes, then they would rotate troops back into the old fortifications behind them and let the wounded heal, then repeat everything so that they normally had fresh troops for each skirmish.
Also, there weren't 20 million persians, for anyone who's trying to nitpick. I was being sarcastic. As usual. Or was I?