Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[soup_alex]

My favourite useless artifacts thus far are those whose creation was a direct consequence of dwarven possession:

Volaletur, "The White Boulder", a Siltstone toy boat.
It is encrusted with Siltstone.
On the item is an image of a demon in Siltstone.
(Great, all-aboard the S.S. Demonship. Or "Sinksalot", who builds a boat out of solid bleeding rock?!)

Inirozsit, "Declinecrabs" (wouldn't you?), a Bituminous coal idol.
It is studded with Zinc and encircled with bands of Bituminous coal. This object menaces with spikes of bituminous coal.
On the item is an image of a goblin in donkey leather. The goblin is falling (likely refers to my last adventurer's chance encounter with a gobbo guard when he got lost on the way to a Tower. If I remember correctly; tearing the creature's guts out with a great axe didn't kill it, but being knocked back and falling >10 z-levels, did).
On the item is an image of the Diorite mechanisms in Iron (earlier artifact).
(A potentially-explosive artifact idol. Hmm... where shall I put it?)

[Deon]

Not explosive (sadly) but it will burn for a long time and set everything on fire =).

Ah, all these ashen/fuel idols always remind me morrovind ash statuettes.

P.S.
Really... WTF?

[MrGimp]

Vatheznakas huh?  So thats how you say 'Virginal Enjoyment' in dwarvish...

[Deon]

And it's a wooden scepeter... Duh.

[userpay]

Not explosive (sadly) but it will burn for a long time and set everything on fire =).

Ah, all these ashen/fuel idols always remind me morrovind ash statuettes.

P.S.
Really... WTF?

Give it to the kings wife!

[Alfador]

Not explosive (sadly) but it will burn for a long time and set everything on fire =).

Ah, all these ashen/fuel idols always remind me morrovind ash statuettes.

P.S.
Really... WTF?

Give it to the kings wife!

It's decorated with Palm and manipulated with palm.

[soup_alex]

It's decorated with Palm and manipulated with palm.

This is a terrible pun. All craftsdwarfship is of the poorest quality.

[MercDraco]

First artifact of my current fort worth 100800$ built in the Summer of my first year in this aquafier hellhole.
was a Copper Flute made with encrusted with Yellow zincon, with Copper and Gold! (first ore i found there bought the copper with me) with a Picture of a copper flute in GOLD!,
a fire imp then came out and the black smith punted it down the hall and broke the suckers neck and without killing it went for a drink.  The Imp was finally finished off by one of my peasants after i activated him.

[Deon]

Actually I don't think why is your artifact lame, it's nice and even has a nice price.
A thing for a dwarven philospher to play with.

[Zwergner]

Basic value of 116400, weighs 15 O_o



Who wants to go see a mule show?  Only 5 monies.

[MuonDecay]

Basic value of 116400, weighs 15 O_o



Who wants to go see a mule show?  Only 5 monies.

The dwarf that wears that thing is someone who carries himself with a lot of gravity.

(now that is how you pun)

[betamax]

First artefact made in the fortress. I don't think he had much inspiration.

[MuonDecay]

First artefact made in the fortress. I don't think he had much inspiration.

Pour vinegar on it and show him what you think of his lack of creativity?

[Muz]

I got my first artifact last night. My dwarf got possessed and muttered something sinister sounding like Nakasthur.

He made a dolomite floor grate worth 3000+. Lol, I'm still figuring out what to do with it. Of all the marble lying around my fort, he made it with dolomite.

[Northstar1989]

I got my first artifact last night. My dwarf got possessed and muttered something sinister sounding like Nakasthur.

He made a dolomite floor grate worth 3000+. Lol, I'm still figuring out what to do with it. Of all the marble lying around my fort, he made it with dolomite.

Necro post aside, that's actually useful- artifact quality grates are indestructible to Forgotten Beasts and such...