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Author Topic: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s  (Read 32014 times)

chaoticag

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #30 on: July 28, 2008, 05:57:16 pm »
behold gearparched the drab construct. An iron barel.

My blacksmith got possesed and came up with this abomonation after using a gazillion bars.
Ironically it holds beer at the moment.
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JadeFalcon

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #31 on: July 28, 2008, 07:13:45 pm »
Quote from: Grigarn on July 27, 2008, 01:19:53 am
I'm in the habit of naming one of the dwarves after me. Right now I'm chilling on a bed made out of gold opal with obsidian spikes

That's not so bad just a little annoyance when you roll over, you want really uncomfortable? Try sleeping in this.

Spikey bed

Oooops sorry bout the big image changed to link.
« Last Edit: July 28, 2008, 08:13:28 pm by JadeFalcon »
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MuonDecay

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #32 on: July 28, 2008, 07:41:49 pm »
My god, did you seriously just post an 800 by 600 bitmap?  JPG or PNG that sort of thing please, I open the page and get the old 56k modem slow-mo picture load... but I have DSL...
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Willfrey

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #33 on: July 28, 2008, 07:53:37 pm »
My jewler was possessed! 



Can I encrust this on anything?  It's worth like 36,000

Edit:  Sorry for broken link.  Whats with all the waffleimages hate?  Third forum I've joined that restricts...
« Last Edit: July 28, 2008, 08:10:52 pm by Willfrey »
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Qmarx

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #34 on: July 28, 2008, 08:02:09 pm »
Quote from: Willfrey on July 28, 2008, 07:53:37 pm
My jewler was possessed! 



Can I encrust this on anything?  It's worth like 36,000
No, only a cut NO LINKING FROM THIS HOST can be used for encrusting.  A large NO LINKING FROM THIS HOST cannot. 


On a completely unrelated note, imageshack.us is a free image host, which will automatically convert bmps into pngs when it uploads, allows hotlinking, and has automatic thumbnailing.  I highly recommend it.
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Alfador

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #35 on: July 29, 2008, 05:26:08 pm »
Quote from: Moron on July 28, 2008, 12:05:22 pm
Quote from: soup_alex on July 28, 2008, 04:13:15 am
Quote from: RebelZhouYuWu on July 28, 2008, 02:22:21 am
Menaced with spikes of leather? How the hell would you get leather spikes?
You've apparently not been playing Fortress Mode for long... a dwarf on the bring of insanity can turn anything (yes, anything) into menacing spikes.

Yes - I've had an artifact that menaced with spikes of pig tail cloth.

One of my first artifacts was a pig tail cap that menaced with spikes of pig tail cloth. I decided it was meant to be a jester's cap, and interpreted it as maybe having studs of brass for bells.
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This is a fox skull helmet. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It menaces with spikes of fox bone and is encircled with bands of fox leather. This item is haunted by the ghost of Alfador Angrorung the fox.

soup_alex

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #36 on: July 29, 2008, 09:26:44 pm »
Quote from: Alfador on July 29, 2008, 05:26:08 pm
One of my first artifacts was a pig tail cap that menaced with spikes of pig tail cloth. I decided it was meant to be a jester's cap, and interpreted it as maybe having studs of brass for bells.
In order for it to include any tiny brass bells, the loony who made it would have had to pinch at least ten metal bars from your stockpiles, in addition to the cloth ;)

One of mine has just knocked out a pretty face-veil (yes, a pig-tail-face-veil) that references some of the other artifacts my fortress has seen: there's an image of a pig tail shirt (in pig tail), a pig tail dress (in pig tail), and "a diorite mechanisms" (in... diorite. What the hell?!)
...the concept of artistic interpretation is clearly lost on this dwarf.
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Qmarx

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #37 on: July 29, 2008, 09:58:02 pm »
Quote from: soup_alex on July 29, 2008, 09:26:44 pm
Quote from: Alfador on July 29, 2008, 05:26:08 pm
One of my first artifacts was a pig tail cap that menaced with spikes of pig tail cloth. I decided it was meant to be a jester's cap, and interpreted it as maybe having studs of brass for bells.
In order for it to include any tiny brass bells, the loony who made it would have had to pinch at least ten metal bars from your stockpiles, in addition to the cloth ;)

One of mine has just knocked out a pretty face-veil (yes, a pig-tail-face-veil) that references some of the other artifacts my fortress has seen: there's an image of a pig tail shirt (in pig tail), a pig tail dress (in pig tail), and "a diorite mechanisms" (in... diorite. What the hell?!)
...the concept of artistic interpretation is clearly lost on this dwarf.
Obviously what's really on the veil is a dwarf wearing a pigtail dress, veil, and shirt, who moves in a lifelike manner due to a complicated internal mechanism.
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userpay

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #38 on: July 30, 2008, 11:50:33 am »
Words cannot express how much I laughed at this yet at the same time so disapointed by it.
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Linthar

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #39 on: July 30, 2008, 02:29:18 pm »
Quote from: Willfrey on July 28, 2008, 07:53:37 pm
Edit:  Sorry for broken link.  Whats with all the waffleimages hate?  Third forum I've joined that restricts...

If you look at Waffleimages homepage it says "Uploaded images will not work unless posted on the Something Awful Forums."
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Nilus

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #40 on: July 30, 2008, 03:06:05 pm »
My best artifact was an Aluminum battle axe worth 120000 something.
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Quote from: Cogsmith on May 21, 2009, 09:33:06 am
That kind of deductive reasoning is undorfy!
You know what you have to do.
RELEASE THE CATS!

Nikov

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #41 on: July 30, 2008, 03:34:38 pm »
Amalenir Lorbam Izkil, "Teachbeguiled the Standards of Intricacy".

Behold! I have encrusted my masterpiece with cassiterite, decorated it with mountain goat bone, and encircled it with bands of giant cave spider silk and iron! It is made from the finest giant cave spider silk cloth dyed midnight blue, menacing with spikes of silk. On it I have made the image of Litast Oarvoice the dwarf in silk, relating to his settling of Echowails the Iron-Vice of Torment in the late autumn of 201. Upon it is an image of itself in emerald.

Oh, what is it?

Its a pair of boxers.
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Quote from: DJ on March 20, 2011, 08:35:32 am
I should probably have my head checked, because I find myself in complete agreement with Nikov.

LegacyCWAL

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #42 on: July 30, 2008, 03:45:58 pm »
Quote from: userpay on July 30, 2008, 11:50:33 am
*THONGZ!*
The best part is the gypsum pixies.  "LOOK AT MY FAIRY CODPIECE! LOOK!" ;D

Quote from: Nilus on July 30, 2008, 03:06:05 pm
My best artifact was an Aluminum battle axe worth 120000 something.
My current fort has a Native Aluminum hatch cover worth 163,200.  Of course, it also has a tower-cap chest worth only 6000 :-\
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Quote from: ilurker on April 18, 2009, 07:36:57 pm
HIDE THE WOMEN AND DROWN THE CHILDREN, THE BARON HAS ARRIVED.

TantiaTope

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #43 on: August 01, 2008, 09:51:47 am »
I have no leather in the whole fortress, and my hauler/leatherworker goes fey...
I take the pains of sending a squad to hunt a camel, set up a butcher/tanner...
He crosses all the map to fetch the piece of tanned leather...
He starts working furiously in a leatherworker workshop permanently immersed in a miasma cloud...

He produces:

Code: [Select]
Kebon Rafum, The Odor of Coincidences, a two-humped camel leather thong
 ::)
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userpay

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Re: Yet another in the long list of artifact 'WTF?'s
« Reply #44 on: August 01, 2008, 10:05:49 am »
Quote from: TantiaTope on August 01, 2008, 09:51:47 am
I have no leather in the whole fortress, and my hauler/leatherworker goes fey...
I take the pains of sending a squad to hunt a camel, set up a butcher/tanner...
He crosses all the map to fetch the piece of tanned leather...
He starts working furiously in a leatherworker workshop permanently immersed in a miasma cloud...

He produces:

Code: [Select]
Kebon Rafum, The Odor of Coincidences, a two-humped camel leather thong
 ::)
Now thats priceless.
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