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[Jackrabbit]

Indeed, congratulations. Hope you enjoy your new drain on your funds. 

Seriously, enjoy the next 18 or so years of the most rewarding time of your life

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

watch out for goblin childcatchers or you might have to fight your own son off in a siege.

[inaluct]

From the journal of Inaluct, secret ruler of Ziliriton;

I have begun phase one of Operation Mustilidae; I have taken control of the dwarve's pheromone regulated hive mind. In short, I have become their new ruler.

They live in luxury;


In elaborate dwellings;


With as many bones as they WANT;


And yet, they suspect nothing. They do not know of my true identity. They do not know of my mission. Soon, they will come to regret their complacency. Soon, they will fall.



Their beverages are delicious. Delicious like the warm blood I will drink from the necks of their infants.


Speaking of infants, one of the creatures has taken to calling itself V-Man, and it has recently spawned a grub;



How cute.




It seems that many of the inhabitants of the warrens are "Go Shopping." I have deduced that this "Go Shopping" activity is a security measure taken by the dwarves to prevent invasion. There are fewer than 10 dwarves Go Shopping at once. It must be very potent. I will make sure to put these Go Shopping dwarves to death, so that the fortress may be breached by the kobold hordes, who will then reach up and pull the symbols of decadence-

Wait, what's this?!



It is worse than I thought. The dwarves shall pay.

[Heron TSG]

Rofl, I can't wait to see what the inaluct wants to do with this fort.

[Dadamh]

The Eternal Halls does seem to have more than its share of nutso rulers.

Good writeup thus far, Inaluct.

[Aqizzar]

Man, I can't wait to take my turn again.  I recognize those rooms below the bonehoard as the barracks I built so long ago.  Which means that's the main foyer completely covered in mud.  And giant grinding axles bisecting the noble suites from the old closets the founders used to live in.

[Dadamh]

Hm, been three days with no posts.  Still alive, inaluct?

[inaluct]

*AuuugUUghgrbrllrl*

Sort of... *HACK* *COUGH*

I'll update this tomorrow, unless I get thrown in jail or something like that. It's Thursday now, right?

[Dadamh]

It's Friday morning here in America, dunno where you are.  It's still Thursday in some places, probably.

[inaluct]

From the Diary of Inaluct, Undercover Wagon and Ruler of the Eternal Halls;

I have taken the first step in securing the hearts and minds of those in charge of the fortress' infrastructure. I have promoted the guards, including the specialist go shoppers.



Prior to promotion, they were comparatively unloved. Probably. So I thought; what do dwarves like? Dwarves like Megaman. They love it. Look at all the blue dwarves, dressed like Megaman.

Exactly.

And what's better than mega? Mondo.



Hence, MONDOTRON. I am a genius.

Two other important facts have come to my attention. First, there appears to be a vacant room.

Perhaps I can find a way to assign myself this bed and remedy my lack of a room. I do not appear to have enough Dwarfbux to rent it. Maybe I should fire all of the carpenters and take up carpentry myself. With a monopoly on wooden goods, I will undoubtedly be able to afford this room.


I have also noticed something in the magma pool in the main meeting hall:




There is a pick resting in this pool of magma. My encyclopedic knowledge of the lesser, one-tiled races tells me that this is a type of long spear not normally used by dwarfs. This would explain it's value of 200 Dwarfbux. It is exotic. There is a demand for it. Dwarves love picks. They also love magma. I am sure that I will be able to find a proficient swimmer dwarf who will be more than willing to retrieve this pick. If not, I will attempt to tunnel it out.

[umiman]

This will be entertaining.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

The Eternal Halls does seem to have more than its share of nutso rulers.

Good writeup thus far, Inaluct.

I wish I'd been able to finish to earn an award as the only mad ruler who admitted it.
Unfortunately he wasn't ever admitted.

[Heron TSG]

Harharhar! The wagon lord will save that pick for us!

[inaluct]

Excerpt from the diary of Inaluct Kodkadol, Undercover Wagon and Ruler of the Eternal Halls;

Over these past few daycycles I have come to love the greasy, smallish barrels-on-legs that surround me. I have even married one and produced two childs and a larva with it.


They grow up so fast.


I am also beginning work on my own bonecarving arena. Soon, I will carve bones in luxury.

Yes, you may have noticed that I only occupy one square in that shot. I am a little wagon. The other wagons used to make fun of me for it when we were grubs.

In addition to this, I have discovered something heretofore unknown about the dwarves;



They have the capacity to live among wagons in peace, employing them to launch missiles. This is truly a great discovery. I anticipate a new era of dwarf-wagon relations as a result of this momentous discovery.



I will build windmills to celebrate. There was only enough wood for three windmills. I must execute some trees. I have also begun work on a diving bridge to retrieve the pick. Dwarves love bridges almost as much as they love magma and picks. I will be a hero for this.



I have noticed something else. The common dwarves are held in pheromone induced submission by a caste of dwarf know as a noble. Being a wagon, I am immune to the noblish pheromones. My recent discovery of the brotherhood of dwarves with wagons leaves me only one option to take when presented with this situation; I will free my brothers. They have been kept under a cloud of ignorance, building elaborate quarters for the nobles for far too long. I do not yet know how I shall free them, but I will.

I must.

[Heron TSG]

YES! YES!

this new overlord shall free us all!