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[nahkh]

The fortress had better be a steaming pile of tantruming !!dwarves!! by my turn.
Keep the good work.

[obscurequote]

Hi, I'm new to this forum but I've been playing the game for about half a year. Is there any chance I could get on the list?

[Dadamh]

Hi, I'm new to this forum but I've been playing the game for about half a year. Is there any chance I could get on the list?

Sure, i'll put you in there.  May be a while before your turn comes up though.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

No update tonight chaps, got caught up in various activities of a musical nature.
The voices told me to, alright!

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

17th granite
Someone said I should spend less time writing and doodling in my journal
and more time doing things.
Perhaps I'll learn to appraise.
The Nabgor of all Nabgors thinks it is a good idea.
Oh, and another naughty goblin wants to play with the children.
Oh well, someone shattered him and I can see his liver now.
I think I'll leave him there.

18th granite
Apparently having a sticky-out liver makes you dead.
I'll have to prod mine back in now.

20th granite
The elf wanted to talk so I bit his/her arm and waved a cat steak at it.
According to Urist this is the correct way to greet elves.
I think they are very shy, because it ran away screaming.

22nd granite
The elf told me to go and hug some trees. I already do that though, so in return I
asked him to start licking windows like I do.
They taste of glass, a surprisingly pleasant flavour if you imagine it.
The elf looked at me like I was mad and ran away.
They do run so very fast. Not as fast as I can fly though.
Or can I fly? I think I can, but it only works in one direction.

25th granite
I asked our nice engravers to engrave my tomb. They said yes, as long as I give them
shoe scrapers, as it is rather muddy in my tomb.
Well, future tomb, as I am not dead yet, although according to some of
the voices I'm actually in Wallhallah, the heaven of masons.
I think they're mad.

28th granite
The engravers have made some nice masterpieces in my tomb.
No withering away though, which is sad. I rather like those.
Or someone else might, I'm not sure.

2nd slate
Even more lovely masterpieces. The tomb looks fit for a king now.
Or an insane miner who has a king speaking in his head.
Possibly two, but I suspect one is a pretender.
Actually, I need to stick a coffin in there.
An Iron one, for Iron is the metal of dwarves.

5th slate
The engravers must really like me because they're engraving a whole lot
of masterpieces.
Aww, a donkey being led around by a dwarf in a bloody apron.
How sweeeet.

8th etalS
Some people just magicked out of nowhere near the boundary of this
fort's jurisdiction. They say they migrated from the mountainhomes to come
and live in the Eternal halls, as the benefits of our wealth far outweigh
the risk of certain early death.
They're absolutely bonkers.

OOC
Stop staring at me.
Just because you can't see the black helicopters doesn't mean they aren't there.

[MC Dirty]

The Nabgor of all Nabgors thinks it is a good idea.

You haven't, by any chance, read "Rumo and His Miraculous Adventures" by Walter Moers? O.O
I have all his books taking place in Zamonia (in German of course, because I am German), and I LOVE them! Well, except for Ensel and Krete, but it was still pretty damn good.
I would've never expected to meet another fan of him in an English forum.

Well, whatever, awesome update. Odd Oddom is.... odd.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

The Nabgor of all Nabgors thinks it is a good idea.

You haven't, by any chance, read "Rumo and His Miraculous Adventures" by Walter Moers? O.O
I have all his books taking place in Zamonia (in German of course, because I am German), and I LOVE them! Well, except for Ensel and Krete, but it was still pretty damn good.
I would've never expected to meet another fan of him in an English forum.

Well, whatever, awesome update. Odd Oddom is.... odd.

He's absolutely fucking nuts.
That's Moers this timwe, not Oddom.
I love the books :3.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

9th slate
I just remembered that being trader means I need to trade.
That's not too bad, I like speaking to people.
Especially if they don't attack me and force me to remove their arms.
The sad thing is it also means talking to the elfies, and they aren't
very nice to me at all. It's not as if I cut down trees, I just like
rolling around in sawdust because it smells better than vomit and
dirt.
And I like my wooden bed because it's almost as good as a warm floor.
Oh, and they look down at me, although I suppose they don't really have a choice because
they're hideous mutants with oversized limbs.
That's what the voice called Elfslayer Treebutcher the Death of Forests
tells me.

10th slate
I took a lot of things into the pile of things we want, like
barrels, drink and food.
Oh, and a little wooden boat for me to play with <3
Apparently elves don't understand money, so I'm just going to assume
that all this stuff is a great big prezzie.
They didn't stop me, anyway.
Now we have enough booze to last us about two or three months.
If we keep making lots and lots of barrels we can actually
brew some and keep our food in barrels.
Dusty trampled food isn't nice.

12th slate
My sarcophagus is finished today. It looks very good.
Apparently they've forged it from a special iron that only rusts a bit
so that it'll look really awesome but still keep me safe
so I can be a ravenous zombie and eat adventurers that come into
my marvelous tomb.
Mmmm, brains.

13th slate
I was going to do something but then I ate some food and now I don't
remember what I was going to do.
This makes me very sad.
I will draw a sad face

15th slate
I found a little house outside today.
It looks like a human house. Which is very odd, because I've never seen a human house
before in my life. Therefore it is especially funny that I recognise it.
Perhaps I'm secretly a human and no-one's told me yet.
that must be it.

17th slate
I'm not a human. I can't bang my head on anything, no matter how hard I try.
I won't even go all funny when I drink a lot of booze. I especially
can't ride a horse.
Definitely not.
I'm going to sit in the nice cold cave river now.
Nice, soothing cold river.

20th slate
I finally assigned my tomb to me today.
Now I can eat brains in style.
The voices are actually quite happy about this and have hardly argued at all.

21st slate
I'm chopping down lots and lots of trees and making barrels today.
Well, not me personally because I can't be allowed sharp axes, but
the people that I'm allowed to tell what to do.
I asked a dwarf in purple robes if he wanted to help because he wasn't
doing anything and he started shouting "Off with his head!"
I don't think anyone was actually listening because my head is still on.

24th slate
I heard some very very loud sounds in the depths of the fortress.
I went and looked for them, as I am a miner, and it is my duty to ensure
the tunnels are safe and free from blockages.
That's what the book says, anyway.
I found a rough cavern full of youngish dwarves with funny looking
instruments, a bit like harps and drums but kind of squiffy.
One of them was shouting into a box full of springs and wax cylinders.
Apparently this is music with rocks in.
I don't know why it's called that because I looked at all of it and there wasn't
a single rock in it. Not even a pebble.
Silly dwarves, thinking I don't know what a rock looks like. I showed them
one so they could see what it looked like.
They looked at me like I was insane or something.

OOC
Beeeeees

[Heron TSG]

wow, almost a sixth of the way there!

well, at least it's good writing! 

[Kai]

Hello, can I join this game please?

I don't mind waiting long.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

25th slate
An errant mushroom has destroyed a "Dadam" engraving.
He's dead so he won't care now. If he wasn't he'd probably
have my head.
And all the other bits.

27th slate
I went to my tomb today.
It looks very damp. Very, very damp. There are lots of those big
mushrooms that they call tower-caps.
I don't know why, because although they do tower a lot, they aren't wearing a
cap. Anyway, I want to do something really awesome but I don't
know what.
Perhaps a giant cathedral will do. They're really awesome and I hear
that everyone is building one.
Well, I'm going to make this one underground because that's far easier
that waiting for years and years for all these lazy dwarves to build one.
All the voices want different temples though, which is confusing.
Especially the one that wants a solid stone pointy thing with a tiny
room inside. That seems really silly.


29th slate
Oh wow, I suddenly understand numbers!
Some of these are awfully big, like the Created Wealth one.
It goes 3266564, which comes to...
Thirty dwarfbucks.
Wait, I have more than that in my piggy bank!
I'm rich!

1st felsite
Oh no, I'm not.
Apparently just adding up all the numbers doesn't make it any smaller.
I am sad now.
Oh, and lots of animals are running away, because there are only 120 left
in the fortress.
As a result the fortress now smells worse without the smell of animal droppings
to mask the smell of 166 dwarves who haven't washed in over a decade.

3rd felsite
We still need more barrels for the purpose of putting food in.
Oh, and to climb inside and roll down the mountain.
That's really really fun.

6th felsite
I ordered the metalsmiths to make loads of nice metal barrels.
Especially copper ones, because they look so nice and shiny.
And I like shiny things.

9th felsite
There are only 110 animals now, which means they might be running away from
a sinking fortress. Oh wait, that's rats on ships. It's a funny expression
really, because EVERYONE wants to get off a sinking ship. Unless you're
a fish, then you want to get on the ship.
I would if I were a fish. Fishy wishies.

10th Felsite
Built some tanneries because all those lovely hides were going to waste.
If only we could make wall coverings out of leather. I'd be able to recreate
the room I lived in in the mountainhomes before they sent me out here.
That room was so nice an soft, I could throw myself around all day.

13th felsite
I told the cooks they could cook plump helmets now, as long as the promised not to
cook any wine or anything.
I think a roast of dog, basted in dog lard and covered with camel cheese, with a sauce
of plump helmet and lobsters sounds good.
Then again, I could always live on nice, easy biscuits.
Biscuits it is.

14th felsite
I think our forges need some working out, because at the moment they're
very cramped and messy.
I might ask Great-Uncle Maggarg what to do, he knows everything.

15th felsite
The marketplace is a mess as well. I think that we don't need a cathedral
at this point, not when even I, a madman, can see that this place is,
er, mad.

16th felsite
I decided to try my hand at designating a mining pattern.
I'll try it out on this nice kimberlite vein, because it might just
contain diamonds, which are sparkly.
As with shiny things, sparkly things are a great passion of mine.

19th felsite
all my new tanneries are up and running, tanning all those hides into
nice soft leather.
They don't half stink though.
I decided to make an enormous open-air refuse heap to make sure all the surplus
bones and things rot away properly so they don't fill up the butcheries

21st felsite
It's been raining for quite a long time now.
A very long time. Everything near the surface constantly has water running
down it because most of the masons here were quite, quite mad.
I looked at my artifact again today.
I say mine, it was really the voices making it through me.
Only there was only one voice then, and he said he HAD to make it, so I let him.
If there's a hole where voices come in, I think he made it a lot bigger,because
now there are lots of them.
I keep telling them to do some work in there, but they won't.
Damn dossers.

22nd felsite
We haven't found any diamonds yet, but we found some pretty
purple spinels. I'm sure there must be a noble who really likes
purple somewhere and wants purple windows.

23rd felsite
The giant copper barrels are pretty impressive, and stuff inside them
doesn't seem to go off as fast, which is a plus.
We now have just over 100 animals, and I bet most of them are caged
or pets.

25th felsite
My rubbish heap is half full already and the butchers are still wading
in compacted bones.
I think that they have been slaughtering quite a lot of animals.


OOC:
Someone needs to make a mechanical library and then we'll have surpassed insanity and wandered into genius.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Sorry about the delay, I'm trying to finish abbeyverse and I get my AS grades next week.
I'll try my hardest to get an update out tonight or tomorrow.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

26th felsite
A planter has had a baby girl all over my lovely rubish pile.
It's all messy now, I'm quite angry. But not very, because I love children.
On toast.

27th felsite
Wowsers, we have loads of barrels now. Time to start brewing!
Oh, and there are only 110 animals left now. The butchers sure have been
very busy indeed.
My office is fulling with little bits of paper so I threw them all away.
Silly people, thinking I needed paper to write things on.
I used the chair, but it got hard when I was trying to write on the legs.
I honestly don't know why they aren't easier to write on.

7th haematite
And suddenly 10 days passed when I wasn't concentrating. That or I'm a time
traveler. Hmm. Hey, I can go back to the 7th of felsite and enjoy that sunshine I had!
*Hnggg*
*Hnnggggg*
*HNNNNGGGGH*
Yay, I'm back! Why is everyone staring at me?
Oh.
I'm not a time traveler, I'm just a narcoleptic.

10th haematite
I'm running out of animals to designate for slaughter.
Apparently people don't like slaughtering their pets and eating them.
Unfortunately, this puts the numbers of pets and caged animals at about
ninety-five.

11th haematite
The Humans have arrived! According to the voices, they like it even better when you
take things without paying. This is stealing.
Try it at home kids!

12th haematite
A vile force of darkness has arrived!
That doesn't sound good.
Hey, perhaps the humans will help!
I mobilised all our squads. Aquizzar will hold the main gate, and
the two marksdwarves' squads will look out over the trap funnel.
Ahahahahahah, my diagram looks like a penis.
Ahahahahahahahah.

13th haematite
Oh dear, there are more goblins than I thought.
The traps might clog. Also laughter.

14th haematite
A lone champion charged out heroically into a squad of the greenskins.
He is valiantly fighting with a lime green exclamation mark taped to his
head. The rest of them have run out and are merrily slicing and smashing away the
goblins.

15th haematite
The siege is over, so now I can *finally* go out and trade properly.

17th haematite
I wish someone would clear up all the mud down here. It sticks to my feet and hands
when I pretend to be a dog. Less fun than it sounds, really.
The humans won't trade because of the siege.

18th haematite
A human keeps trying to talk to me and follows me.
He's creepy. I don't like having a big beardless humie telling me how
nice the fortress is and how fat I am.
Oh, he just left.
What an odd fellow. Woof.

22nd haematite
Down to 98 animals now. Considerably harder to pretend to be a dog.
On the upside, I can walk around backwards with ease now.

[Heron TSG]

best. mayor. EVER!

[Aqizzar]

Given all the other delays the fort attracts, waiting for each step of this turn is no problem.

Am I still alive after that goblin siege?  Without Dadam, I'm the longest lived dwarf in the fort now.