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[Kishmond]

Heheh, no. Too busy playing Spore. I don't want to hold you guys up so while I'm rotting in jail the next guy can play his turn.

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=584
Sorry I wasted your time.

[Dadamh]

But Spore is boring as sin.  Still, ok.  Turn passed to Penguin of Honor.

[penguinofhonor]

Penguin's Diary
9th of Granite, 109

It appears I've been tricked.

I was passing through the countryside on what I thought was a normal diplomacy mission. Boy, was I wrong.

It appears that I signed up to lead a fortress several years ago, and some of its inhabitants saw me from the top of some obnoxiously tall towers and ran out to greet me.
I thought I was giving my signature to some petition to create a huge wall between our empire and the elves' empire, titled "The Eternal Walls".

I was wrong.

So I have to rule this fortress for a year. It's a decently large fortress with over a hundred dwarves. All of them under my control. This isn't so bad. At least, it isn't a bad idea.

But... this fort. It's an abomination. I was expecting a modest hole in the ground as an entrance, with the typical dwarven fortress beneath it, invincible in its simplicity.

But this fort has walls. What are we, humans? I'll let the dwarves complete the previous leaders' constructions, but will build no more. That's just a silly thing to do.

Then there's this marvelous system of pumps and waterwheels. My favorite part is the lever marked "Will flood waterway, then fortress if not watched". That sounds like a good way to end my term.

This is a big fortress, though, and I don't know where people live. Or where I'll live. Or where anything is. I'll steal the best rooms, though. It's my right as our glorious leader.

[Aqizzar]

Five people in jail or under warrant for violation of production orders, most of them unrelated to producing anything, including a guard.  There's a free marksdwarf in the prison who's missing his entire left leg.  We have a dwarf whose best skill is organizing.  The peeved tax collector 'recommends' 27 thousand of each coin type to match our supposed wealth.  And Dadam is still mad with power over pricing.

According to the map on page two, that anomalous wet tile is from another pool we never opened.  There's something to do.

[Dadamh]

Haha I like the post, Penguin.  Also yes, the fort is a solid mess and will likely stay that way.

[penguinofhonor]

Damn. This will not run on my computer fast enough. Sorry about getting your hopes up with the cool first post, but you're going to have to skip me.

[Dadamh]

...

Well then, we're batting something around 500 for successfully finished turns.

Ok, next up is Sizik.

[Aqizzar]

I honestly didn't think this fort would hold interest long enough for the roster to wrap back around to you Dadamh.  The Eternal Halls live on!  At this rate of progression, it's looking like it'll be my turn here and in the nostalgia fort in the same week.  Uh oh.

[Dadamh]

That's the thing; we've had something like ten pages of talk with no fort updates because no one seems interested in the fort.

Eh.

But anyway, Yeah, I'm mildly surprised it got back around also.  Though at the rate we started I figured it'd be a bug that killed the game.

[Dogman]

I think at this point it's the FPS problem that kills it for most people. I know if I was getting more than 10 FPS I could have done my full year.

Some epic disaster or tantrum spiral needs to happen to thin out the population, and/or get rid of the clutter. But then again, the rules state no intentional destruction of the fort.

[Aqizzar]

Yeah, I'm messing with the save file right now.  My computer is no slouch and I'm getting about 13FPS with just the normal fort and some merchants.  If a human siege showed up my processor might abandon ship.

Spoiler: Hidden Fun Stuff (click to show/hide)

EDIT: Just to have some fun, I'm breaching the you-know-what.  We have frogs by the way.  Aqizzar was the first to arrive, and opened a fight with two of them by lopping of a hand.  This is going to be great.

CONTINUED: By Armok what a slaughter.  Not the frogs, the dwarves.  Aqizzar was by himself for a bit and cut down four alone without taking a scratch.  The first two got their organs obliterated and slowly bled out.  The third was chopped in half in two hits.  The fourth was losing limbs with every three presses of (.), before being diced in twain as well, leaving Aq with enough time to cut the head of the first frog for good measure.

Then three champion sword dwarves showed up and it wasn't even a fight anymore.  How many of these things are there supposed to be anyway?  I think something wrong happened - the pit lord proper apparently spawned or fell in a magma pool, because there's a burning pile of demon bones down in there that wasn't there when I opened the pit.

[Dadamh]

Frankly, waterworks often kill FPS, and the sheer size and stupid of the fort isn't helping either.  I knew the thing would be murder on computers eventually; having a bunch of players each make their own changes to the thing inevitably leads to chaos like that.

[Sukasa]

I'll Sign up.

[Jackrabbit]

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=25545.0

should help with FPS

[Sizik]

Well, it seems it's my turn. I'll get started right now.