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[deadlycairn]

What happens when the seal zombies come?

[Sir_Geo]

Then we go clubbing 

[inaluct]

*rimshot*

[Hamster Man]

Okay, I didn't read past the 8th page (where they were talking about zombie RPGs), so...

Why not mod em in, DF style?
You know, like how in the orc mod, they invade all the freaking time? Mod in some zombie as a civilization, but make them a bit tougher, give them some special units.. oh, and HUGE sieges. Like, minimum of 60 per siege.

Also you might wanna make them a little faster than normal zombies, or it'll take forever for them to reach the gate.

[Duke 2.0]

 Alas, little one can do to make hordes other than make them a creature and have them appear in herds of a hundred.

 Which would be rather awesome. Make them fear nothing and seek out items like the monkeys. And slow, and only slightly stronger than a normal untrained wrestler with a weapon.

 This + Nanofortress = I need new pants.

[umiman]

Attempting to solve problems grounded in fantasy using logic based on reality is pointless. Likewise, using fantasy logic to solve real-world problems is equally stupid.

Hence, I maintain my argument that in a fantasy world where zombies exist, I have my own private space weapon and habitat. Because I would. It might still not be the best choice of a place to live in, but I'll be damned if I can't blow the rest of you survivors to kingdom come and laugh.

[Qmarx]

They do not hurt.  They do not stagger.  They do not tire.  They do not fear.  They do not think.

All they do is hunger.  They will never stop.  And as long as they know you exist, they will keep coming.  And you will never kill them all, not with any weapon, especially not your muscles.

Run, run to a place the zombies cannot follow.

Are you kidding?  They stagger constantly.  It's their shtick.  And it's pretty simple to kill them all.  Wait about seventeen months.

1 gram of fat contains 9 Calories of usable energy (protein has less).  Assuming a first order Taylor zombie approximation, for a 200 pound zombie made entirely of fat, you get about three and a half million joules of energy available to your zombie.

Walking burns 4.6 Calories/minute.  So, overestimating the energy they have to work with (zombies don't actually process or eat anything - the just kill it and lose interest), the theoretical blubber zombies I proposed are going to last for about 529 days at maximum.

Now, given that they'll end up damaging themselves, can't stop decomposition, lurch in an extremely energy-inefficient manner, won't have nearly as much energy to begin with... zombies just don't seem like a feasible long-term threat, as long as they no longer can continue making more.  Given how slooooooow they are, unless they're in mobs they won't be able to hunt people down - but if they're in mobs, then they're easier to spot from far away, they won't split up because they all have the same incredibly stupid instincts/programming, and they're less of a threat than a single zombie hidden in the woods.  The mob'd probably get eaten by crows or a hyena or a dingo dog or something.


Honestly?  Zombies are either a perpetual renewable free energy source, or easy food for the buzzards.  One way or another, they're not a credible threat, although they may be a natural resource.  And besides, if Septerra Core taught me one thing, it's that throwing bread at zombies is the most effective means of killing them.


Vampires, now... especially vampire dolphins.  Totally different matter.  Native echolocation + streamlining + massive undersea areas to congregate... don't want to have to deal with them.  With fangs, vampire dolphins might be able to compensate for their inherent lack of thumbs, which nobody wants.

[umiman]

It would be in a vampire's best interest to keep his prey alive so that, you know, they don't starve. So it really won't be a threat so much as turn us into cattle. You'd just be replacing one dominant species with another. From an economics point of view, that's really not a cost. That is, assuming you mean intelligent vampires.

[deadlycairn]

And assuming you don't mean the kind of vampire that turns other people into vampires.

[umiman]

If they do so, then they'd operate no different from humans and it would simply reinforce the inference that we'd become cattle and they'd essentially be "humans". Our odds of survival would be much higher with vampires than with a zombie disaster, I would think. Of course, we'd probably still die in the end, but we'd live in relative luxury until then.

Of course, so many assumptions would have to be in play. They'd have to be on the same scale, same places, etc.

[Duke 2.0]

 Get a lamp that makes light in the proper spectrums, have it mass-produced and placed in every home and vampires will be near-ineffective. Sunlight everywhere, even at night. Just stand under a lamp post or something. Those caught without such a lamp would be the idiots of the world, and the vampires can have 'em.

 Don't give me crap about how stronger vampires can survive in sunlight. Just get some high-intensity lights. Not like they become totally immune at a specific point.

[umiman]

I forgot that you Westerners believe that vampires are affected by sunlight... it's quite different for some of us from different cultures.

In any case, if the assumption that vampires are destroyed by sunlight is valid, then they aren't a cause for concern for obvious reasons.

[Duke 2.0]

 Well, I suppose it would depend on the type of vampire. Still, from what I know every type has some glaring weakness that can be exploited to absurd degrees with modern technology.

 Even fanfic vampires, which are immune from everything except STD's.

 Speaking of which, all that blood contact would ruin them within a generation or two.

[Qmarx]

I believe in the original vampire myths they were most powerful at noon, when they had the smallest shadow.  So your lamps might end up empowering them, attracting frightened people like moths to the slaughter.

Regardless, vampire dolphins could lurk for centuries, biding their time and building up their technological base. 

When they struck, it would be all but impossible to ship anything during daylight - without lights, the vampire dolphins could locate and sink any of your boats, and with them you're easy targets for torpedos or even enhanced cyborg whales/sharks.  That pretty much cuts out all sea travel.

Planes wouldn't be able to fly at night either - vampires can fly fast enough without being streamlined - vampire dolphins could catch up easily.  Dolphin-mounted rocket launchers could quickly take out the cargo planes.

And oceans cover the majority of the Earth's surface.  It would be all but impossible to track them down in the first place, let alone prevent them from triggering multiple tsunamis with stolen nuclear subs and undersea volcanoes.


Oh, and vampire watermelons?  No weaknesses.  No remorse.  No way to sate their unending craving for blood. 

[Strife26]

I'd bet for a human with a pistol vs. a vampire.

I'm a militant, what can I say? Humanity always wins in the end.