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[Asheron]

I just realized something funny. Prepared to be amazed! Or severely dissappointed. If you have a split personality, possibly both.
I'm going to sleep, but I'm depending on you, GMT ( insert large number here )+, to post things about your keyboards. Out of this, I will derive what sort of person you are in real life / as a gamer.
Hell, call this a profiler game.

I'll give an example. The escape button on your keyboard is greasy and is lodged in to the keyboard frame.
This means you are somewhat of a coward, or maybe an undecisive person. You quickly run for the hills and tend to quit programs after playing them for a few seconds to look for that perfect passtime. As such, you mercilessly hammer down the escape key, with no empathy for it's durity. This might be a subtle hint to the more dictatorial shadow in you.
Remember, if you Run, or you'll have to escape.

In a few words: Indecisive Chicken Dictator.

[Nilocy]

What if you wear gloves or mittens, you wouldn't get any grease or anything on your escape key.

Point match, Nilocy.

[Kagus]

While I find your observation to be somewhat lacking, I'll submit some info on my 'board, just because I'd like to see what you'll come up with.  By the way, a lot of games use the F10 key for the main menu, and the Esc key hasn't been used for exiting a game in years. 


My keyboard is a relic from an ancient age, with keys that clack with deafening sound as they are pushed down the extensively long travel.  They require great strength in order to fully push down, but they give you the satisfaction and the knowledge that, by Jove, you typed that symbol.

It was cleaned sometime last century, and there is a layer of brownish gunk over everything.  What constitutes this gunk, we may never know.  Or want to.

There are lazy paths winding their way around the frame, the effects of otherwise unoccupied fingernails scraping off the topsoil.  The F5 key is sluggish and the F6 key is unyielding, the result of a few spilled droplets of Ribena blackcurrant drink mix entering the keyboard.  Random hairs sprout out from between the keys, and if a person were to look closely they might discover the furry nest that makes a nice, soft padding underneath the keys.

The right shift key is solid, but seems to perpetually be in "that time of the month".  It is often late for work after a period.


There is not a single loose key, as the ancient peoples apparently knew more about how to build a keyboard that feckin' lasts than these newfangled folk.

The NumPad is pristine.

[Reasonableman]

My keyboard is a relic from an ancient age, with keys that clack with deafening sound as they are pushed down the extensively long travel.  They require great strength in order to fully push down, but they give you the satisfaction and the knowledge that, by Jove, you typed that symbol.

Why don't they make keyboards like that anymore? Makes me sad.

Mine is a standard, ordinary keyboard, that is reasonably clean, missing quite a few screws, and has two buttons deliberately and carefully pried off; specifically, a Power and a Sleep button that were becoming problematic every time I had to hit F12. Lets just say that I had quite a few accidental restarts for a while there.

[Aqizzar]

What if you wear gloves or mittens, you wouldn't get any grease or anything on your escape key.

Point match, Nilocy.

How do you type with mittens on?


My keyboard.  I've been using it for about four years now - the board I had before that I have for another four, and wound up in about the same condition.  It's a standard cheapo lightweight keyboard that came with a Compaq Presario.  The old one was a bigger flashly model from an E-Machine.

The spacebar looks completely jacked up, yet is almost perfectly functional.  The little spring-wire popped out long ago when I had to clear out some Dr. Pepper, and the return mechanism never really went back in.  For probably the same reason, the right control key is all but concreted into place - it has to be really hammered to go down, and doesn't come up for a while.

All of the keys have a mess of brown crud on their sidewalls.  Most of the keys are perfectly clear on top, some are thoroughly covered - the keys around +/=, printscreen, numpad 0, and that funny menu key I never use.  The board casing is likewise covered in brown spots and invincible dust, exept for the shiny clean spaces around the volume buttons.

The 'S' and down arrow keys have been worn almost bald.  On my old keyboard, the 'S' was not just bald, but grooved.

Just to add in, my monitor is filthy as well.  Sometimes I can't tell the difference between cruddy spots and dead pixels.  It still has a red streak on the casing where I smashed a mosquito.

[PTTG??]

What if you wear gloves or mittens, you wouldn't get any grease or anything on your escape key.
Point match, Nilocy.

How do you type with mittens on?

The same way you type with boxing glove on! Sheesh!

Lesse here... my ond keyboard had sticker residue on half of the keys- I briefly re-labeled them as Devoak.

[Pnx]

Hmmm well my keyboard is somewhat old, it's got a smooth sleek feel about it but it's in no way fragile. It's bluish and is about 3-4 years old, it also could use a cleaning in between the keys. I also have to keep brushing cat hairs off of it as my cat likes to sleep on my table and paw at me as I'm there. Occasionally it gets in the way. Err, my spacebar jams sometimes, so does my left shift, The right side of my keyboard could use a cleaning, I can even see that I should do some work around the numpad area. Hmmm the windows logo is also slightly grimy.... That's pretty much it, all I can say is that I should really clean my keyboard. In fact I'll probably do it now.

Oh and my mouse, you have to hear about my mouse. It's sleek, small, and blue like my keyboard, it also has a very worn finger shaped patch where the paint has come off and in fact if you look closely there's a small indentation where my finger has been on the left click button. Also a week or two back my mousewheel broke. My mousepad is cracked and worn, It's something I got off of my mother a long time ago, in fact it's dated 2001. It's very old, and I doubt that if I had a motion ball mouse that I could actually use it effectively on this mousepad. Even with this mouse that has served me well has some trouble with it. My mouse has also lost the four little rubber stoppers that suspend it a nanometer above the pad, the four indentations where they should be now need to be cleaned out every so often to stop them getting in the way.

That's it I think.

[Boksi]

Well, my keyboard is pretty much pristine, despite several years of use. It's rather dusty, and recently the spacebar has gone somewhat askew, and is slanted at a slight downward angle. It's not receptive at the left side, which is the lower side, so I have to press the right side. Also, it's quite noisy because I press very hard on the keys, especially the spacebar.

[Duke 2.0]

 Spacebar is dirty, the area between F8 and F9 is dirty, most of the dirt isn't apparently visible. However, don't shake it above your head.

 The markers on the J and F keys are worn away, and there is a large nick on the down arrow. I like to have my fingernail in there when I'm not using that hand.

 It makes typewriter-like noise when I use it, lacking an annoying bell sound. While I like the sound when I'm alone(Ha, I sould faster then those 'computer hackerz' in the movies!), when other people are around it gets really annoying. Here I will give a little insight to my personality: I find it annoying because other people find it annoying. I guess people would call me 'sensitive.' Bah, people want other people to be sensitive for their own gain. I'm 'sensitive" because I geuinely care about other people.

 Damn pc'ness...

[Torak]

My kerboard has that indescribable brown gunk on the sides as well, and it makes me happy knowing my keyboard is not the only one with that physical quality. Other than that, there's the jacked up sleep button which I tried to rip out of my keyboard because it has caused me much anger in the past. I have tried knives, pencils, pens, credit cards, anything which can fit into it's crevasse, but it stands defiant, while the area around it looks like a battleground. I hate it.


There's also the hair I clean out of under the keys every month or so, maybe it's my 'metal' hair or my beard that causes the build up, but I'd be rich by now if I sold all that hair to a wig shop.

[SeaBee]

I'll bite.

The following keys are very worn: W, A, S, D, E, F, J, K, L, the , key, the Enter key, the Tab key, and the left Shift key. Caps Lock is pristine.

Space bar is starting to wobble funny.

Left control key is worn AND wobbling. Hmm.

Unidentifiable brown gunk located on the S key. Random dust under keys. Some beard hairs down there too I think. Eww. My keyboard needs cleaned.

[Cthulhu]

Let's see, my keyboard is about a foot latitudinal(Not a word?), five or six inches longitudinal.  Along the top is an escape key, followed by function keys from 1 to 12, followed by a bunch of truncated words like prtscr and sysrq.  Below those are the main bulk of the keyboard, containing every letter in the english alphabet, in QWERTY format.  Surrounding them are various keys for modification of typed letters, spacing, crouching, and sprinting, and to the far right is a block of number keys and arithmetical symbols.

What does that say about me?

[Fualkner]

Sure, let's do this.

My keyboard has no keys worn down, all keys rebound perfectly. F and J are the tiniest bit worn down, but it's hard to notice.  I turn my keyboard upside down and tap it, and a small amount of crumbs fall out of it. The keyboard itself is compact, black and ordinary. The last row of keys (Spacebar, ctrl and alt, etc.) are wide and slope down.

Bring on the analysis.

[Cthulhu]

On a somewhat related but off-topic note, I'm using a laptop, and I can hear a whistling from inside it, like air is passing through it.  If it's tilted properly, it rises to an almost painful pitch.  Is this bad?

[Reasonableman]

On a somewhat related but off-topic note, I'm using a laptop, and I can hear a whistling from inside it, like air is passing through it.  If it's tilted properly, it rises to an almost painful pitch.  Is this bad?

Probably dust collecting in the cooling vents. You should blow that out with canned air or a vacuum or something, 'cause that could lead to overheating.