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Author Topic: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became  (Read 8713 times)

KaelGotDwarves

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This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« on: July 14, 2008, 08:49:34 pm »

After all the "elves are cannibals" and "elf zerg rush kekekekeke" threads, this is a new thread to celebrate how elves became zerg tier in the first release of the Army Arc.

From various threads:





Dwarf: Well, mister treehugger, I suppose you want us to stop cutting down tr-
Elf Diplomat: THE BLOOD OF YOUR PEOPLE WILL STAIN THE EARTH, YOUR WOMENFOLK WILL WAIL AS WE CUT OUT THEIR EYES AND ROAST THEM, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S BLOOD WILL BE THE NECTER THAT FEEDS OUR SAPLINGS, YOU BEARDED HAMBURGER.
Dwarf: Well, we could always just limit our tree cutting quota to 125 if it bugs you tha-
Elf Diplomat: OUR ARMIES NUMBER THOUSANDS AND OUR LUST FOR BLOOD IS INSATIABLE, AND WE FIND YOUR PEOPLE VERY DELICIOUS WHEN SERVED WITH-
Dwarf: Alright, alright! 50 trees! 50 trees!
Elf Diplomat: Very well, while we may not always see eye to eye *chortle*, we can agree to this.

Boomer

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2008, 08:54:14 pm »

...they are Nethack elves now...
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Skanky

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2008, 08:54:32 pm »

:D

*Applause*
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Tahin

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #3 on: July 14, 2008, 08:54:47 pm »

lulz
They need to get protein from somewhere, right?

On a side note, imagine that kind of siege in fortress mode... The FPS would be unbearable, but it would be worth it.
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bigmcstrongmuscle

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #4 on: July 14, 2008, 08:59:16 pm »

So do dwarves become immune to sleep by consuming +elf roast+ now? :P
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Torak

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2008, 09:01:01 pm »

They're still pansies.

''Look at me im eating a person!"

"Yeah, you're still wearing armor with pink flowers on it, so shutup."


Elf comes back with 1500 other elves and attacks the dwarf, he kills them all because wooden armor sucks.
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One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the cosmos. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips, I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my veins. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk and free throw.

KaelGotDwarves

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #6 on: July 14, 2008, 09:01:54 pm »


Because elves don't care if you are one human, they will come in by the hundreds and eat you.

On the other side though.

19 humans and their champion fend off 544 zergers after their one-legged champion slew the Elf general.

Haven

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #7 on: July 14, 2008, 09:02:17 pm »

Cannabal Pansies are a'ok in my books. I just wanna give a big thanks to Adams for making this kind of mass homocidical cannabal race possible.
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Davion

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #8 on: July 14, 2008, 09:06:04 pm »

I like how in that first image the elf didn't even bother killing the human before eating him.

Elves can apparently unhinge their jaws.
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Davion

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #9 on: July 14, 2008, 09:10:38 pm »

They're still pansies.

''Look at me im eating a person!"

"Yeah, you're still wearing armor with pink flowers on it, so shutup."


Elf comes back with 1500 other elves and attacks the dwarf, he kills them all because wooden armor sucks.

The dwarf returns to his fortress and finds out his kitty cat died, he throws himself into the cave river and drowns.
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Boomer

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2008, 09:11:17 pm »

I like how in that first image the elf didn't even bother killing the human before eating him.

Elves can apparently unhinge their jaws.

No, like a raptor or various modern predator, you are simply still alive when they start to eat you... you dye from being parted out during the eating.
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Neonivek

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2008, 09:17:46 pm »

In my current world... the Elves are the most violent Race...

They just non-stop attack... make peace only to immediately start a war all over again.

If it wasn't for the fact that the humans I have in the world right now seem to have super powers... We would be overrun. (Ive had towns of 5 defenders consistantly half armies of 100)
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BurnedToast

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #12 on: July 14, 2008, 09:23:48 pm »

It's not that the humans have super powers, it's that the elves are just really weak (even if they do eat your brains to get your power if they manage to win).

The constant battles are because they attack the humans for abusing plants and animals (which they do all the time - chopping down trees and hunting) and the humans attack them back for eating their dead in the last war.. and so it becomes a vicious cycle.
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JoRo

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #13 on: July 14, 2008, 09:29:21 pm »

In my first world there was a demon which killed half a dozen elves in year 5 before one of them shot and ate him.
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Zai

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Re: This thread is about how AWESOME elves just became
« Reply #14 on: July 14, 2008, 09:34:26 pm »

Yeah. I find it quite odd that most of my demons are killed by being eaten by elves.
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