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Author Topic: Journey of a dwarf named Urist.  (Read 1393 times)

Glacies

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Journey of a dwarf named Urist.
« on: July 14, 2008, 11:14:53 am »

One day, in the year 1050, when the demon and the hydra ruled over the cursed mountains of bile, a dwarf decided to take up his axe and raid the goblin towers.

Unfortunatly, things did not go as he expected.

As he charged up towards the first goblin he spotted, she turned around with her crossbow and...waved at him. He skidded to a halt mid-charge. She greeted him.

"Hiya, stumpie!"
"Um. Hello."
"Whatcha doin' ere?"
"Um. I'm a tourist?"
"Fair nuff'."
"Care to join me on my adventure, then?"
"Tour de worlds n'stuff? Sounds good. Wen do we leave?"
"Soon as I've seen the rest of the towers, I guess. My name's Urist Axemurder. What's yours?"
"Ngokang murderrape. Pleased ta' meetcha'."
"Right. Well then, let's go check out this tower, then."

So Urist and Ngokang wandered up the tower past several friendly goblins and came to a macegoblin, two elves and a fishergoblin. Urist walked over to the elf and greeted him.

"Hello there!"
"Oh, hello, dwarf."
"So, um, what do you do here?"
"I farm for the goblins, dude."
"But, why? What possible reason would you want to stay here for?! It's insane!"
"Dude, you are like totally wrong, man. These goblins, they really respect nature, man. (Ngokang grinned ear to ear at the compliment.) They, like, don't even cut down trees at all, man. Even that high-and-mighty druid uses some wood."
"You're insane. Bye now."

So Urist shrugged and walked over to the other elf.

"Hey, there!"
"Oh, thank armok! Help me! I'm a prisoner of these foul beasts and they won't let me leave! They do horrible things to me in the dungeons, and I, I..."

Urist looked at the elf's fingers. He was missing two of them.

"Well, all right, elf. I'll see if I can bargain with these goblins."

And so Urist talked to the macegoblin. She was covered in amulets and earrings of snailman leather, and wore a ring of goblin bone. She grunted as Urist greeted her.

"Um, hi."
"Wut!?"
"Err..I don't suppose there's something I could do for you in exchange for the elf's freedom, is there?"

The macegoblin looked thoughtfull, and then shrugged.

"Seek out dat spearguy whatsisface, wherever da heck he is."
"Err, thanks."

So Urist, Ngokang, and the Elf diplomat fled the tower and ran into the spearlord outside the door.

"Ah, Hi there."
"Wut do you want, stumpie?"
"Um, could I do a task for you in exchange for his freedom?"

Urist gestured toward the diplomat cowering behind Ngokang. The spearlord was wearing a necklace made from two elf fingerbones. The speargoblin looked at the trio thoughtfully, and then said:

"Many years, Hydra eats us, hydra kills us, hydra smashes up hovels of dem' human slaves. Kill him, we let out anywun you want."
"Geez'. That's a pretty tall order, ya freakin' greenskin."
"Wut?"
"I said, 'Right away, mister spearlord sir!'"
"Good. Now go way'."

And so the trio fled the goblin towers in seach of a hydra.

Dwarfaholic

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Re: Journey of a dwarf named Urist.
« Reply #1 on: July 14, 2008, 11:21:09 am »

Nice beginning.
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Glacies

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Re: Journey of a dwarf named Urist.
« Reply #2 on: July 14, 2008, 11:51:54 am »

Urist, Ngokang, and Ayi travelled south to the elf city and tried to convince the elf to stay, but he wanted to stay with them.

"Oh, but I want to stay with you! I don't feel safe with the elves. They're just going to ship me off back to the goblins again, I know it!"
Urist commented that they were going to go try and hunt down the hydra. That swiftly changed Ayi's mind, and he left on his merry way.

Then an arrow flew at ngokang, but missed. She opened fire and pierced the elf sniper through the eye, killing him instantly. He dropped out from the tree he was hiding in with a sot thump. Urist and Ngokand exhanged glances, and then ran like hell out of the woods.

They ventured northwest, hunting groundhogs for food up the river until they came to the fabled cave of the hydra. They began the short walk from the campfire the had made together, towards the cave entrance.

"So, Ngokang, tell me about this hydra thing we're going to kill?"
"Well, dat hydra killed dem' three goblins and dat one human slave. Knocked his hut on im'. I ain't really dat' worried bout' him.."
"Sounds nasty if he's strong enough to overturn a house."
"Dun worry. I gots a plan."

As they walked the sun began to sink under the horizon, and they walked over a hill. When the passed  over the bank, they saw some sort of shape. Ngokand fired, and her quarrel hit something. It gave a loud, low groan, and sank to the ground. Urist ran up to examine the corpse while Ngokang kept watch. Urist returned shortly thereafter.

"It's a troll, or was, at any rate. You hit him through the eye."
"Trolls?"
"It's like a man, only bigger and bleeds a strange color. Some groups of our kind used them in wars as a seige machine, bringing down doors."

Ngokang looked thoughtfull.

"Dem trolls can open those wall-things stumpies make?"
"Yeah. But I promise once we're done here, I'll teach you how to open a door without smashing it down in the process."

Ngokang looked cheerfull as the two walked down the hill, and she began whistling. Urist thought she sounded kinda irriitating, but kept his peace. The two walked a little further, and came out intoa moonlit clearing. Sleeping in the middle was a seven headed green serpentlikecreature with smooth, coppery green scales and tiny little flipperlike claws. As the two approached it, it raised it's head and gave a roar. It scrambled to it's feet and charged at the duo.

Urist ran to one side while Ngokang shot at it. Her crossbow quarrels bounced off it's tough scales while it snpped at Urists heels. He yelled in desperation and ducked behind a tree, and by then his diversion had done its work. A quarrel hit the hydr in the neck, poking it out.

Ngokang muttered, concentrating hard. "Wun' down, six ta go."

Urist ran further away from the clearing, with the hydra in hot pursuit. Ngokand ran after, shooting bolt after bolt into the hydra. The majority bounced off. Then Ursit tripped through a oatch of rat weed and landed on his face. The hyda grabbed him by the leg and began to shake hi aound, and he began bleeding.

Ngokand also was in trouble. As she ran behind the hyrda and took carefull aim, anothertroll snuck out behind a tree and smashed her in the leg, breaking her foot. She screamed.

Urist, meanwhile, lost his leg but managed to crawl away from the hydra while it munched on the severed limb. He crawled over to the unconcious goblin the troll was beating. His eyes narrowed as he saw his friend begin to cough up blood, and he became single minded. He grabbed a rock and threw it at the troll. The rock ricocheted off the troll harmlessly, but the job was done. Angrily, the troll turned his attention to the legless Urist and ran forward to dismember the new, more tasty victim. Urist had other ideas. Leaping up on his one leg, Urist suprised the troll and knocked it over, slicing off the trolls arm with his steel axe. Urist swung wildy, chopping the trol like so much kindling until he as dripping viscous, cyan liquid all down his torso. Then he collapsed.

Ngokang woke up. Her foot and left hand felt like they were on fire, but she propped herself up, picked up her crossbow, and lookd over. She saw Urist in a pool of his own blood, gasping and muttering incomprehensible dwarvish, desperatly poking at the troll corpse with his axe.

And, she saw the hydra slithering noiselessly towards him from behind. She aimed, and fired. She hit the Hydra in the heart and it made a loud, gurgling look as 14 eyes simultaneously bulged out in suprise and shock. It keeled over right behind Urist.

Ngokand limped over beside Urist, and looked at him. He slipped in and out of consciousness for the rest of the night, and at dawn he died of blood loss. She dug a grave, took the Hydra's teeth and fashioned them into a necklace, and buried Urist with it. She sliced a tree down with his axe for a headstone, and sketched a few words on it in goblin.

"Urist. dwarf. Nice guy. Helped an elf, nice to goblin. Nicer thn most aktuly."

She looked at her handiwork in the midafternoon, and thoughtfull scratched out the last word, and wrote "acktully" above it. Then she walked home.