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[Alfador]

Okay Cheesemaker, you've had 400 counts of "failed to produce adamantine hatch covers". Your punishment is thus:

You will be tarred and feathered, and tied down to be perpetually licked by your many cats. At this time you'll be given a laxative and forced to eat excessive amounts of captured purring maggots. All this will happen on the floor - no more bed for you!

Your mind will be switched with one of your many cats. Then your body with the cat mind will eat you in the cat body.

Oh, one more thing. You just violated a mandate to gather the necessary purring maggots, so we'll also be welding a hatch cover to your junk.

I allowed a trader to escape with our adamantine mechanisms, the export of which had been forbidden six hours after the elves left our depot. For this heinous crime, I was torn to pieces and every piece was thrown into the magma pipe.

[Joseph Miles]

Okay Cheesemaker, you've had 400 counts of "failed to produce adamantine hatch covers". Your punishment is thus:

You will be tarred and feathered, and tied down to be perpetually licked by your many cats. At this time you'll be given a laxative and forced to eat excessive amounts of captured purring maggots. All this will happen on the floor - no more bed for you!

Your mind will be switched with one of your many cats. Then your body with the cat mind will eat you in the cat body.

Oh, one more thing. You just violated a mandate to gather the necessary purring maggots, so we'll also be welding a hatch cover to your junk.

I allowed a trader to escape with our adamantine mechanisms, the export of which had been forbidden six hours after the elves left our depot. For this heinous crime, I was torn to pieces and every piece was thrown into the magma pipe.

  You're GLaDOS aren't you?! WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT THE CAKE?! WHY?!

[Skizelo]

Oh, that reminds me, I was going to suggest being able to designate portals.

[Joseph Miles]

Whoot! Someone got the reference!

[korora]

Whoot! Someone got the reference!

You named of one of the two characters in the game, plus used the most popular meme from the game.  I think anyone who's been on the internet any time since portal was released would get that one.

[Draco18s]

Whoot! Someone got the reference!

You named of one of the two characters in the game, plus used the most popular meme from the game.  I think anyone who's been on the internet any time since portal was released would get that one.

Most popular?  Are there others?  (Besides using portals for less than intended purposes--such as having sex with one's self (yes, I've seen at least two)).

[Align]

The turrets, the cube, the traps..

[Draco18s]

Touche, though I was thinking more things that could be put into text.  Forgot to specify.

[Skizelo]

If someone quoted one of the turrets, I couldn't place it.

[Joseph Miles]

"Hello, are you still there?"

"Where are you?"

"Target lost"

And, my favorite "Hey! Put me down!"

[Draco18s]

"Preparing to dispense product!"

[Joseph Miles]

oooooh haven't heard that one

[korora]

"I'm not angry" or something like that when you kill them.

Edit: Also I'm pretty sure way more people know "GLaDOS" than know the player is named Chell.

[Draco18s]

I knew she was named Chell.  But then, I did listen to all the dev commentary.

[Joseph Miles]

I don't remember ever HEARING it say GLaDOS ever =/

In all honesty, once magic is implemented portals would greatly reduce hauling time.