And that's why the players create their own restrictions.
I knew this was coming.
By playing on glaciers/magma-less deserts, terrifying locations right besides a goblin tower, using only the "default" embark setting, refusing to use traps and/or Marksdwarves, and taking up challenges. But the more restrictions you add, the less possible ways to play the game there are and the more you punish the player for a bad decision or just plain bad luck.
Whereas completely unrestricted gameplay offers millions of ways to play, all of them equally effective and therefore equally boring. Bad decisions
should be punished. That's part of the reward for making good decisions.
DF is already pretty harsh when dealing out punishment, specially because of the steep learning curve
Oh, come on. The "steep learning curve" is mostly intimidation by the interface. This complaint might have had some truth back (1) before the wiki documented pretty much everything and (2) when setting up initial farming was tricky.
and tantrum spirals. If you lose your only mason early in the game in a wood-less environment, and no one else can learn the skill, you pretty much lose the game (or at the very least is forced to go through three seasons without any workshops or extra booze). And even considering the motto of the game, that kind of loss is not fun. It's right up there with NetHack's Yet Another Annoying Death (YAAD).
Well then,
don't start with only one mason. For Armok's sake, it's an expedition to the frontier. Do you want anyone in the group to be irreplaceable? If the skill point cost is prohibitive, you can start with one mason, and then immediately train someone else up to Novice to be your backup mason--a little riskier, but not much. And if you lose your mason, you can still build workshops out of wood. See? You have restrictions, you
work around them.
Nethack YAADs are generally things that kill you before you have a chance to react. DF gives you plenty of time to react, and plenty of options.