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Author Topic: Elves and their feeble threats  (Read 5490 times)

Tiler

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #30 on: July 14, 2008, 02:56:35 am »

I think the amount of trees that you need to cut to piss off the elves is a precentage instead of a set amount. One fort I had was in a good jungle, and I cut down swaths of feather palms without a meep from the elves, but the next fort in a steppe only required the cutting of a dozen or so trees before the elves got all tall and mighty on me.
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Boatmurderer

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #31 on: July 14, 2008, 02:17:55 pm »

It might also depend on if Elves live in the woods that you move into.

Elf: Hey, you know those trees you're chopping down? That's our home.
Dwarf: Dunno what you're talkin' 'bout. Elk roast? It's made of Elk, minced Elk and Finely-minced Elk.
<Elf runs away crying like a flowery pansy>
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Aqizzar

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #32 on: July 14, 2008, 07:43:46 pm »

Something tells me that very soon, this thread is going to seem hilariously quaint...
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Tiler

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #33 on: July 14, 2008, 08:12:40 pm »

Dwarf: Well, mister treehugger, I suppose you want us to stop cutting down tr-
Elf Diplomat: THE BLOOD OF YOUR PEOPLE WILL STAIN THE EARTH, YOUR WOMENFOLK WILL WAIL AS WE CUT OUT THEIR EYES AND ROAST THEM, AND YOUR CHILDREN'S BLOOD WILL BE THE NECTER THAT FEEDS OUR SAPLINGS, YOU BEARDED HAMBURGER.
Dwarf: Well, we could always just limit our tree cutting quota to 125 if it bugs you tha-
Elf Diplomat: OUR ARMIES NUMBER THOUSANDS AND OUR LUST FOR BLOOD IS INSATIABLE, AND WE FIND YOUR PEOPLE VERY DELICIOUS WHEN SERVED WITH-
Dwarf: Alright, alright! 50 trees! 50 trees!
Elf Diplomat: Very well, while we may not always see eye to eye *chortle*, we can agree to this.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #34 on: July 14, 2008, 08:19:36 pm »

Role reversal!
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Shoes...

Dame de la Licorne

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #35 on: July 14, 2008, 08:38:04 pm »

Then again...

Urist McDwarf: You know mister tree lover, about that tree quota....
Elf Diplomat:  WE SAID 30 TREES! THERE ARE NEARLY 200 MISSING! YOU'RE CHILDREN WILL BECOME FOOD FOR OUR HOME TREES!
Urist McDwarf:  Well, we had a little problem with the mag---
Elf Diplomat: NO EXCUSES!  WE HAD AN AGREE---!
Narena Amewecami, Elf Diplomat cancels tirade: engulfed by magma.

 ;D
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Cthulhu

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #36 on: July 14, 2008, 08:41:50 pm »

Then again...

Urist McDwarf: You know mister tree lover, about that tree quota....
Elf Diplomat:  WE SAID 30 TREES! THERE ARE NEARLY 200 MISSING! YOUR CHILDREN WILL BECOME FOOD FOR OUR HOME TREES!
Urist McDwarf:  Well, we had a little problem with the mag---
Elf Diplomat: NO EXCUSES!  WE HAD AN AGREE---!
The elf diplomat bites the dwarf in the head!  It is torn!

 ;D


Fixed.
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Shoes...

ShadowDragon8685

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #37 on: July 14, 2008, 10:14:31 pm »

I want an option to tell the Elven Diplomat "Our land, our rules. You got a problem with that? Bring it.

I'll hole up and let them siege me. Then eventually, a goblin siege will show up, and two 'problems' will 'solve' themselves. The rest will be dealt with in the traditional Boatmurdered fashion.
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Haven

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #38 on: July 15, 2008, 09:28:21 pm »

Quote
...YOU BEARDED HAMBURGER.

I say that pretty much pushed things into epic territories, courtesy of elven cannibalism.

But yeah, I'd like to enrage the Elves and fight off a constant zerg swarm... So much fun. Not so much fun for the migrants. But nobody likes them.
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Earthquake Damage

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #39 on: July 15, 2008, 10:15:02 pm »

Not so much fun for the migrants. But nobody likes them.

Nobody needs them either.  As of the last major release we have dwarves who hook up and make babies.  Immigrants are old hat.

...  Did I use that idiom correctly?  I think I'll leave it as is even if I botched it.
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Haven

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2008, 11:06:28 am »

You could have, if you meant 'things we already know and are used to'. But really, who else can fuel that new mass-dump/build designation?
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Eita

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2008, 12:03:24 pm »

The babies.
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Cajoes

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2008, 01:43:31 pm »

Also, I've never even come close to cutting down 53 trees in one year.  What are you people doing with all that wood?

Not everyone has magma.

All my furniture is made from wood. :D
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Uriah

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2008, 01:58:41 pm »

Well, my world started and the embark screen had Dwarves, Goblins WAR, Elves WAR and Humans.  The elves came the spring of the second year.  You get the "A vile force of darkness is upon us!" or whatever the message is.  BUT the stupid elves are sneaking and until they run into your dwarves, you have no way (as of now) to find out how many, what kind, etc.  I just assumed at first it was a bug at the time.  Until they found my dwarves.  They are NOT just pushovers like you would expect.  Luckily most of them fell to my stone fall traps in my entryway.  They brought Wrestlers, Bowmen, and Spearmen. 
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Xehon

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Re: Elves and their feeble threats
« Reply #44 on: July 16, 2008, 02:33:27 pm »

I bet elven wrestlers would be a lot more interesting if you modded their main attack to be biting. Besides that, the elves seem to have adopted the ninja skills of the elephants. Makes sense. First it was the elephants, then the carp, now the elves. They're connected. Don't you see? It all makes sense now. Elves are the spawn of elephants and carp. The best traits have been given forth. They have evolved!
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