Well hello there, lads an' lasses. Good day (night or something) to you all indeed. I am somehow pissed and in state of utmost delight. Do not ask. Just read.
So. Today I started playing Dwarf Fortress. Again. After more than 1 year. Well, that is a white lie or whatnot - the truth is, I did run DF.exe sometimes ago, but did not stay in game for more than few seconds. And it was the same version as one year ago, no updates, no sir. Oh yes, I remember times back then. Z-axis was but a speculation, a part of suggestions topics (personaly, I did not like the idea back then). In those times I had a short streak when I was even checking these forums quite vigilantly. When I was not playing DF.
God.
Jesus.
Harlots of Babylon f****n' Christ.
These game rocked so much back then. Sure, when I first met here it was difficult. She was not the type to open up quickly. Or even at all, for a inpatient mind. But I saw her potential. Oh yes. I was dazzled at our first meeting. Confused. Petrified. Stunned. And viciously dismembered, put together with duck tape then sliced to small pieces again. And I knew - so much potential. And I wanted more. And I got more. Each time I returned, each hour I spent with her. From my first cave-in troubles to my first meeting with chasm. It is funny - I played it quite some time, but still not enough to get even past magma vein. And even that with my third fortress or so. Not even the first siege happened to me. Looking on other topics back then, I felt somehow ashamed with reading such tales (some quite epic even) of sieges, ridiculous outcomes of various fey modes, experiences from sinister places and such, titans, demons...Yes, I felt a bit ashamed in my green-nes,but I also read in awe. This game is SO much.
To much even. Last time I played it seriously I nearly failed to complete my history class assignment, which was crucial for me to complete that class. I mean - F**K!, this game was simply too much! I was completely possessed. It is funny how I stopped playing it so easily. Maybe doing history assigment till 2 in the morning finally cleared my mind. Even so much that I did not play DF anymore till now (and those few second some time ago, which does not count anyways).
So. Today I started playing Dwarf Fortress. Again. After more than 1 year. I have downloaded the latest version.
And I remembered why did I stop playing it back there.
Because I could just stay sitting at my computer and do what I did nearly this whole day. Play DF.
Oh yes, she is not the type to forgive or forget. Not before did happen to me, that my computer memory went too low during world generating. And Z-axis? Sure there were troubles with z-axis. And I forgot most of the interface. But when I finally started to get a grip again...oh yes...She changed a lot. And she remained the very same she was. And I love it all.
I cannot remember when today did I start playing it. I generated a smaller world (64x64 or 128x128, cannot remember) yesterday. Maybe the clock was 10 or 11 in the morning. But I know it was around 13.20 when I firs remember I checked the clock. Then suddenly - 15.10. Now insert the F word here. Lunch, and around 16.40, I am back. It's 18.15, then 19.45. It was around 20.35 when I finally managed to force myself away from her. I don't get it. I simply don't get it.
Why?
This is still the best game on the world. And it just got better. And don't get it - how can a game like this even exist? I was never much for a fancy graphics. In fact, I like ASCII more than those java plugins I saw pictures of. The game idea so simple, managing a fantasy world fortress, bur yet still - simplicity is such...wrong word. And the gameplay...oh, the gameplay. I just cannot get it in my head, how can there exist such game like this. And I am hating it.
Yes chaps, you heard me right. HATE. And I hate it's creator. And myself. Why? It you possesses me too much, or it could. I know, that if I let her go just a little too far, she'll swallow me whole. I am that kind of person, barely able to resist her. That's why me be hatin' self. And I hate it's creator for being able to create such overwhelming game and making me sit before computer in I trans I barely remember same, in my 10+ years of gaming. And making me write this long topic, and staying up long into the night. Because of this game.
You are nearly my Idol. Seriously. I love this game. Passionately. As much as I hate it. It is just that I am that kind of person it is difficult for me to say I really HATE or LOVE anyone or anything. But it is more simple to use human emotions to express myself to other humans. So yes - this game is my love. And my fall. I want her more. And more. And you are not my idol just because I try to think of ALL humans as equal to each other. But damn. Just gorram it. It's tough. But as said, if I lose it, I cannot say what kind of mode shall strike me. Ok, I THINK I am still sane enough I can pull myself of nearly any sort of shit I do to myself. But you know, playing this game for few days straight might REALLY be troublesome for me. But writing this down help me understand that indeed I am sane enough to prevent that kind of thing.
And still. If I do not pull myself together, I am going to have some serious troubles on college on Monday. And Tuesday too. And Wednesday. I mean, fffFU*K!, I am writing this for more than one hour straight. Before I started, I was thinking about continuing with playing DF. And also on working on some reports linked to my college work. I did nothing of this. When I finnish writting this, I'll go to sleep. It is nearly 22.30. And tomorrow, there is much work to be done. And I do not mean digging a 4x4+ place for barracks and thinking what to do next, gorram it!
Just because I do not plan to donate you right now (due to my own financial status and psychological "all-people-equal" stuff) does not mean that will not change in the future.
I mean...I hate you for making such a tremendous game before me. That is not even finished. And you rock. Definitely. I hate and FEAR this game. And I love her more and more and more.
I mean...
Fuck.
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