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[Haven]

I had a fortress which for some reason had to be abandoned.  When I closed out, everything was dead except for a pack of 4-5 hunters. 

When I reclaimed, unlike other dwarves who just sit around, the hunters were still hunting.  Something would wander onto the map, and I would get a message about "the mountain goat has been struck down" and I'd scroll over and these hunters would be bludgeoning animals right and left.  Then they'd slip back into ambush-mode and disappear.  The only living things on my map that were safe were my own citizens . . . hoary marmots fell like dominoes . . . mountain goats were thrown bodily from cliffs . . . wolves and deer alike were chased down and ripped to shreds . . . eventually, when I got to goblin sieges, the hunters would simply decloak and mow through them like grass before vanishing again . . .

Ah... The legendary Phantom Regiment of Fortressname...

[1138]

First: Hello forum, I am new, I think DF is awesome. Okay, that's over.

Second:

I was ambushed by goblins, lots of them.  The only choice was to recall my forces and raise the bridge.  This mostly was successful, but one dwarf limped too slow and was left outside.

He proceeded to run towards a line of traps, dragging the goblin force in behind him, killing 1/3 of them.  He then ran BACK through it, killing another 1/3.  He then ran directly along another set of traps, killing most of the rest.  The goblins then fled my fortress, fearing the wrath of a pansy dwarf.  They ran across more traps in the field, they lost an entire squad of archers.

I gave the dwarf a burial chamber made of gold.  He has so far not had need of it.

Please, you must rename that dwarf 'Rincewind' now.

[Quift]

I had a fortress which for some reason had to be abandoned.  When I closed out, everything was dead except for a pack of 4-5 hunters. 

When I reclaimed, unlike other dwarves who just sit around, the hunters were still hunting.  Something would wander onto the map, and I would get a message about "the mountain goat has been struck down" and I'd scroll over and these hunters would be bludgeoning animals right and left.  Then they'd slip back into ambush-mode and disappear.  The only living things on my map that were safe were my own citizens . . . hoary marmots fell like dominoes . . . mountain goats were thrown bodily from cliffs . . . wolves and deer alike were chased down and ripped to shreds . . . eventually, when I got to goblin sieges, the hunters would simply decloak and mow through them like grass before vanishing again . . .

This is the coolest thing I've ever read on these forums.

[Awayfarer]

One thing I didn't expect was the goblin inquisition. Of course...

...nobody expects the goblin inquisition!

[Overdose]

On a new fort, where i decided to bring along some extra supplies i wouldn't be able to make normally, shortly after getting the basic rooms built up, and all my basic gear w/extra items unloaded, i set my Cook to making some lavish meals for the first caravan, forgetting about the small couple of units of cheese (only brought 10 of each) and my milk (i brought 60 thinking it could substitute drinking booze/water), and ended up getting a message about my cook making a masterpiece, and got the following.....


turns out, my entire milk supply counted as 1 barrel for needing to make stuff with, and most of my cheese had been eaten by my dwarfs before being used (counted as 2 items because one dropped the one cow cheese he was eating to go bash in a kobold's skull).

I was more surprised at the fact it was worth over 500,000. Looks like everyones eating pricey roasted milk for a while 

[Wolfius]

I once got a legendary engraver, and thought "well, hey, how about engraving all my walls? It'll make my dwarves happy!"

Bad move.

I couldn't dig anywhere without defacing a masterpiece. It would instantly make him go berserk.

Use constructed walls to make him a little room outside next time, assuming you don't have anywhere inside you can build it. Then build a bed in it, assign it to him, and wall him in in his sleep.

Then deface his works all you want.

[Derakon]

Dwarves now care less about masterpiece defacement/theft if they've made many masterpieces, so digging through engraved areas is less of a problem.

[Hishan]

I once had my hammerer beat a glassmaker for not filling a mandate. The only one he could find was one of my immigrant glassmakers, who unfortunately had trained to be a legendary hammerdwarf. The guy retalliated and killed my hammerer in one hit. Damn

[sorbius]

My favorite pleasant surprise happened one time I started a fort in a haunted river.  At the start I hit U to see what's lurking and see a pack of about a dozen beak dogs, I zoom in on them and they are just around a bend inthe river from where my dwarfs are.  crap, I think, I draft all my dwarfs and brace for impact pretty sure this fort is going to end before it begins.  I wait and wait and wait, I scroll through the map to wherethe dogs started and fine a bunch of blood near the water and then I notice the river is red...  sometimes zombie hippos and fish are a good thing.  I hastily constructed a wall and pretended like nothing had happened.

[Makrond]

I once had my hammerer beat a glassmaker for not filling a mandate. The only one he could find was one of my immigrant glassmakers, who unfortunately had trained to be a legendary hammerdwarf. The guy retalliated and killed my hammerer in one hit. Damn

This is a bad thing?

I once had a dwarf survive four hammer-strokes... then a season later got another 5...

TWO unfillable mandates from two different nobles...

[galmud]

I once had my hammerer beat a glassmaker for not filling a mandate. The only one he could find was one of my immigrant glassmakers, who unfortunately had trained to be a legendary hammerdwarf. The guy retalliated and killed my hammerer in one hit. Damn

LOL imagine that hammerers surprise.

HAMMERER: Hey you! Stoopidlookin wimpy glassmaker! Im gonna beat ya for not making those glass bottles the major ordered!!
GLASSMAKER: ..what the? Aouch! What was that?
HAMMERER: Thats my hammer punk!
GLASSMAKER: Thats not a hammer. THIS is a hammer!
HAMMERER: ...

[aelystur]

I startted a new fortress, with immigration turned off (still ended up with 3 immigrants ) one of my starting immigrants was given the skill of axedwarf for dealing with thieves and babysnatchers before my airlock and traps are up. I set him to hunt to start to develope his axe skills (bugger kept bringing me partial goats) once I had enough leather gathered I made him his initial set of armor, each piece decorated with a leather image   I then set him to wear it so the goats dont hurt him too bad (havent found the water yet  ). with the lack of labor I had with no immigrants,  I made him a  mechanic as well. so while he was setting up a batch of cage traps he gets ambushesd (had to turn off hunting to make him do the task at hand, meaning he was stuck without armor) he only had 1/3 the traps set up roughly 6 or so, all of them on the wrong side so none of the gob's were caged when he got attacked. he managed to kill none of them. bastard. I had to use my miners to dispatch the few that made it past my internal flood gates.  so I hastily crafted a coffin (once the threat was eliminated) and encrusted it with a couple gems I had laying around. later whenI looked at the coffin after another disaster (and 4 more coffins) I looked at his coffin and saw:

"this is a superior quality chert coffin. this object menaces with spikes of morion.
on the item is a finely-designed image of a dwarf and a leather armor in green zircon by Bembul Duradlikot. The dwarf is admiring the leather armor."

I thought it was a nice touch. having his coffin engraved with what i assume is him and his armor. wont really know unless I got back in adv. mode and look at it.

----
yeah my typing is bad. often my spacebar misses whenI use it.
and sometimes I forget to  check.

[MuonDecay]

First: Hello forum, I am new, I think DF is awesome. Okay, that's over.

Second:

I was ambushed by goblins, lots of them.  The only choice was to recall my forces and raise the bridge.  This mostly was successful, but one dwarf limped too slow and was left outside.

He proceeded to run towards a line of traps, dragging the goblin force in behind him, killing 1/3 of them.  He then ran BACK through it, killing another 1/3.  He then ran directly along another set of traps, killing most of the rest.  The goblins then fled my fortress, fearing the wrath of a pansy dwarf.  They ran across more traps in the field, they lost an entire squad of archers.

I gave the dwarf a burial chamber made of gold.  He has so far not had need of it.

Please, you must rename that dwarf 'Rincewind' now.

Off topic:
THX 1138?

On topic:
I don't get it... explain? 

[Makrond]

Rincewind is one of the many characters from the Discworld series of novels by Terry Pratchett.

Rincewind is a cowardly 'wizzard' who, as a wizard, is completely inept, but always seems to be in the wrong place at the right time.

It's the sort of thing that would happen to Rincewind.