Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[umiman]

Guns, swords. Can't you guys be more imaginative with dealing with your zombie hordes? I mean... if you're considering weapons you don't have and possibly won't get in your lifetime as well as considering something that won't happen, might as well go big.

You know. Like nukes. Giant lasers. Nanomachines. Ant armies. Earthquake guns. Tesla coils. Anti-zombification rays.

[Specialist290]

Actually, the Zombie Survival Guide states that chainsaws and flamethrowers are probably your worst options against the undead.

Chainsaws: Heavy, unwieldy, need gas to run, and just as dangerous to the operator if he doesn't know how to use it. Also, the noise attracts zombies.

Flamethrower: Zombies don't burn fast enough and don't feel pain. And, as every DF player (or reader of Boatmurdered ought to know), a clueless man on fire can set others on fire, too.

Your best options are generally a sniper rifle or a crossbow, since both are long-range and have decent penetration power. (Crossbow also has the added advantage of silence.)

The thing I'm worried about, though, is Chaos infestations. Those can be pretty nasty.

[Cthulhu]

I'd be more worried about The Thing.  I've only seen bits and pieces of the movie, but I've seen Crazy Head Guy, and I've played the video game, so I have enough information to know I'd be screwed in that scenario.

[Makrond]

if you're considering weapons you don't have and possibly won't get in your lifetime as well as considering something that won't happen, might as well go big.

You know. Like nukes. Giant lasers. Nanomachines. Ant armies. Earthquake guns. Tesla coils. Anti-zombification rays.

You mean you don't have these things lying around in your backyard?

The Hierarchy of Weapons

Psychokinetic Fleshrending>Razor-Sharp Boneclaws>Lazers>Lasers>Some other guy with a gun>Guns>Chainsaws>Zweihanders>Katanas>Longswords>Shortswords>Swrods>Cricket Bats>Baseball Bats

Fixed for you.

[Kagus]

Chainsword!  Battleaxe!  Blessed Gibson SG of sonic destruction!  Telekinetic manipulation of really big rocks!  Running shoe with adamantine cleats!


Really, the options are endless. 

[Cthulhu]

Mad Cow disease causes zombie-like behavior in humans(Haha!  I don't eat meat!), and between 35 and 60% of the world's population has been infected with toxoplasma gondii, which severely affects the behavior of rats, causing them to become suicidally attracted to cats, and has been linked to mental illness.

The zombies are coming.

[Kagus]

Postal 2's "Apocalypse Weekend" expansion pack was filled with a mad cow-tourettes combination disease.

That'd be fun.


"GRAAA-mrh?-AAGH!"

[Asehujiko]

Against skeletons i'd take a pair of hatchets or a single hatchet and a crowbar. Those undead are alot less scary when they consist of a huge pile of broken bones. Against slow, virus zombies i'd take a sniper rifle. Against fast virus zombies, anything with alot of stopping power. Against any magic zombies i'd take a heavy mg.

Contrary to popular belief, fencing with chainsaws isn't just like normal swordfighting with more sparks. Both weapons would either recoil back into the owner's face or be launched quite a distance away, depending on what side it hit.

[DJ]

Actually, I think that the chains would break and fly into somebody's face.

[umiman]

Yeah, now we're getting somewhere.

I still enjoy the cricket bat to the head myself though. Err... I mean, I still enjoy inflicting cricket bats to heads. Shawn of the Dead!

[Klendt]

The moral of the story:  If someone is shooting at you, there are more important things to do than flail a katana around like a ninny.

Incorrect. The moral of the story is: Guns will kill you dead. If someone is shooting at you, you're doing it wrong. Whatever "it" happens to be, according to the situation. Such as not giving them your wallet. Or hanging out with crackheads. Or forgetting that even a shot to the shoulder or thigh could kill you.

I'm not sure if it's limited entirely to modern kendo, but the criteria for 'winning' a kendo match is to attack, stamp and shout at the same time, whilst also being ready for any attacks your opponent may try in the interim. That equates to some level of self-preservation, at least in my book.
---

Are you sure you're not confusing East with West here? Europe (and also America now) is Western, whereas China and Japan (the Far East) are Eastern. If you're not, you may need to clarify.

1: I was referring to that "ichigeki hissatsu" mentality (so treasured by the soldiers of yore) of being sure that your first blow is the fatal one, coupled with a complete disregard to the horrible probabilities that may emerge if one's technique is flawed. This does not mean giving free reign to your opponent and allowing him to control your space before the first attack is even launched, for instance.
2. Certain? Almost everything I write is through a haze of either half-drunkenness or sleep-deprivation. Or stupidity. I'm never certain of something.

[Makrond]

The moral of the story:  If someone is shooting at you, there are more important things to do than flail a katana around like a ninny.

Incorrect. The moral of the story is: Guns will kill you dead. If someone is shooting at you, you're doing it wrong. Whatever "it" happens to be, according to the situation. Such as not giving them your wallet. Or hanging out with crackheads. Or forgetting that even a shot to the shoulder or thigh could kill you.

This was just too true not to quote.

I was referring to that "ichigeki hissatsu" mentality (so treasured by the soldiers of yore) of being sure that your first blow is the fatal one, coupled with a complete disregard to the horrible probabilities that may emerge if one's technique is flawed. This does not mean giving free reign to your opponent and allowing him to control your space before the first attack is even launched, for instance.

Ahh, ichigeki hissatsu (funny thing is, I was discussing this with someone and couldn't remember the name beyond one hit certain kill... d'oh). I forgot about that mentality.

Certain? Almost everything I write is through a haze of either half-drunkenness or sleep-deprivation. Or stupidity. I'm never certain of something.

What? Only half-drunkenness? Are we not good enough to bear the full brunt of your drunkenness or something?

Also, I don't recommend dueling with chainsaws. Even if the chains are made of some kind of super-alloy that's impossible to break, the chains will catch and you'll end up with a chainsaw embedded in your leg, or arm, or possibly face. And those chains are designed to tear, not cut cleanly, so if it breaks, I wouldn't want to be anywhere near it.

[DJ]

Interestingly enough, European school of swordsmanship also focused on one-hit-kill approach when it comes to unarmoured fighting. When it comes to fighting in armour, though, it was a comes to fighting in armour the emphasis was on bringing the opponent to the ground as quickly as possible, so you could say it was focused on two-hit-kill:p

The media representation of medieval European swordsmanship is highly inaccurate and has led many of us to believe in untruthful stereotypes. If you want a more accurate representation of European swordfighting philosophy, look up some Fechtbuchs.

[Kagus]

Well, accurate or no, I enjoy viewing Live Steel Combat performed by the Viking enthusiast group "Skjaldborg".

[Soadreqm]

Bah! The ultimate school of combat is stage fencing. The one where you flail your weapon around wildly, attempting to hit your opponent's weapon in a harmless but dramatic manner. Bonus points for wittily taunting your opponent.