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[tp12]

Like this?

No, thats a chainsaw katana. A katana chainsaw would have all the little blades replaced by katana blades. 

 Only possible way of making this more awesome:

 1. Put it on fire.
 2. Have it mounted on your arm.

and make it launch kittens at random interfals.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Make it shoot shurikens and lighting like the gun on painkiller.

[RyanW]

I saw one of them cut a tank in half.

The statement in another forum I frequent is "A katana can cut a tank in half, even if it misses!"

The other is "Katana: a bastard sword with a great PR campaign."

[Aqizzar]

Who needs katanas when you've already got a chainsaw?

For those who haven't seen it.

[Karlito]

Hey, what happened to all those random extras who were attacking the hero guy at the beginning?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

I saw one of them cut a tank in half.

what, a cricket ball?

[Duke 2.0]

I saw one of them cut a tank in half.

what, a cricket ball?

Those things are dangerous.

[tp12]

I saw one of them cut a tank in half.

what, a cricket ball?

Those things are dangerous.

the spinning cricket ball hits the tank in the upper body, it explodes into gore!

[Makrond]

Just yesterday I saw video of a Japanese sword-master cutting an arrow in half with a katana as it was flying right at his heart, diffusing its energy enough that it didn't wound him.

Meh, I saw something similar. The arrow is generally considerably slower than one that would be coming at you in the field of battle (from that distance, anyway).

That said, if the arrow is fired up at a 30 degree angle (like any good bowman would do to shoot long-distance) then it is very easy to swat the thing out of the air... provided it's not a volley and you've got four or five of the damed things coming at you.

the spinning cricket ball hits the tank in the upper body, it explodes into gore!

Urist Cannonfodder is thrown clear of the explosion!
The spinning turret strikes Urist Cannonfodder in the head!
It is mangled!

[Jetman123]

My latest adventurer, a male hammerdwarf, was attacking a dark goblin fortress. Goblins and limbs were sailing through the air, and out of nowhere, an arrow strikes me in the arm and I enter a martial trance. Next thing I know, a flurry of arrows comes at me, and I get spammed with 'you bat the arrow out of the air' messages like I'm some kind of Matrix-dwarf. Is this something related to martial trances? I had heard of fortress mode dwarves dodging bolts during trances, but I never knew this could happen in adventure mode.

Continuing on with my usual parody style of writing... And yes, I am sorry for this one too.

Urio has entered a martial trance!
The Goblin Agent attacks you but you jump away!
The Goblin Agent attacks you but you jump away!
The Goblin Agent attacks you but you jump away!
You bat the flying +Iron Bolt+ out of the air.
You bat the flying +Iron Bolt+ out of the air.
The flying +Iron Bolt+ hits you in the left upper leg.
It is pierced!
The flying +Iron Bolt+ hits you in the right lower leg.
It is pierced!
You fall over.
Goblin Agent: Only human...
Cerolity: *click* Dodge this.
The flying +Iron Bolt+ hits the Goblin Agent in the head!
It is pierced through entirely!
Goblin Agent has been struck down.
Goblin Agent's corpse dissapears.

--

Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the statue.
Urio: What statue?
*Urio turns around sharply, hitting a =*Mudstone Statue*= with his elbow, knocking it to the floor, where it crashes*
Oracle: That statue.
Urio: I'm sorry.
Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my carp to fix it.
Urio: How did you know?
Oracle: Ohhh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything?

--

Bomrekus: You think that's -Air- you're breathing?
Urio: *stops breathing harshly*
Urio has entered a martial trance!

--

Bomrekus: *walking effortlessly through a crowd of dwarves underground* The Fortress is a system, Urio. That system is our enemy. When you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Metalworkers, masons, traders, carpenters. The very minds of people we're trying to save, but until we do, these people are still a part of that system and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand that most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the Fortress that they will fight to protect it. Were you listening to me, Urio? Or were you looking at the elf in the red dress?
Urio: *struggling through said crowd, having to lie down several times to get through* I was, uh...
Bomrekus: Look again.
Urio: *looks, and sees a GCS about to bite him* AAAGH!
Bomrek: Freeze it.
*everything freezes, *PAUSED* appears in the upper right and upper left corner*
Urio: *stops cringing* ... This isn't the Fortress?
Bomrekus: No. It's another training program designed to teach you one thing: If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
Urio: *looking at the GCS* Who are they?
Bomrekus: Sentient chasm-dwellers and goblins. They can move in and out of any place still accessible to them. That means any place we haven't cleared is potentially a GCS or Goblin Agent. Inside the Fortress, they are everywhere and they are nowhere. We have survived by hiding from them, by running from them. But they are the gatekeepers. They are guarding all the doors, they are holding all the keys which means that sooner or later, someone is going to have to fight them. I won't lie to you, Urio. Every single man or woman who has stood their ground, everyone who has fought a GCS has died. But where they have failed, you will succeed. I've seen an Agent punch through a concrete wall. Men have emptied entire crossbow volleys at them and hit nothing but air. Yet their strength and their speed are still based in a world that is built on rules. Because of that, they will never be as strong or as fast as you can be.
Urio: So... what, you're saying I can dodge +Goblin Bone Bolts+?
Bomrekus: No, Urio. I'm saying that when you're ready, you won't need to.

[Fishersalwaysdie]

This isn't the fortress?
No, this is Kobold Quest.

[MuonDecay]

Just yesterday I saw video of a Japanese sword-master cutting an arrow in half with a katana as it was flying right at his heart, diffusing its energy enough that it didn't wound him.

Meh, I saw something similar. The arrow is generally considerably slower than one that would be coming at you in the field of battle (from that distance, anyway).

That said, if the arrow is fired up at a 30 degree angle (like any good bowman would do to shoot long-distance) then it is very easy to swat the thing out of the air... provided it's not a volley and you've got four or five of the damed things coming at you.

Eh yes it's perfectly possible for an alert person with good reflexes, but still impressive. It was aimed at the man's heart after all, and fired with enough momentum to pierce said heart.

I don't think medicine will ever be able to do much about getting shot in the heart... with anything.

[Soadreqm]

I don't think medicine will ever be able to do much about getting shot in the heart... with anything.

Well, if you give the patient a heart transplant and a blood transfusion in the few minutes it takes for his brain to die, he might live. So the answer is to get shot during a heart transplant surgery.

As for katanas, they might not be quite as powerful as advertised, but you have to agree that they look totally badass.

[Jetman123]

The katana is under-represented. No, it's not as powerful as a lot of people seem to think it is, but everyone else seems to think it's just a regular sword. Not so.

A katana has three things that seperate it from a normal sword:

1: The blade is curved. This focuses all the energy of the wielder's swing onto a single point, allowing it to more easily slice through... well, anything. The katana was designed during an era where heavy wooden armor was overwhelmingly common, so the katana is almost specifically made to get through said armor. Hence the curve. Normally curved blades are smaller, but the katana is a notable exception.
2. The katana is usually wielded two-handed. One hand on top of the hilt pushes forward, the other hand on the bottom of the hilt pulls back. This provides an overwhelming amount of force compared to other swords, again facilitating armor piercing.
3. The katana is heavier and harder to wield than a regular sword. Heavy training is required to use one, and a lifetime has to be spent to master it.

The katana isn't an ubersword, but it does get a very high amount of penetration compared to a regular long, straight blade. It can indeed slice through wood like butter if swung hard enough.

[Aqizzar]

Would not all of that also apply to scimitars and daos as well?  I imagine a similar principle was at work.

Oh, and for anyone who actually believes any human being could possibly catch or bat an arrow away should really watch the MythBuster's rigorous deconstruction of the stunt.  Arrow shot at an arc?  Maybe.  Arrow shot directly at the target?  Not unless you have five times the muscle reactions of the actual ninjitsu master they hired to test it out.

Damn children of the late '80s, convinced everything Japanese is magically surperior... grumble, rant, grumble...