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Author Topic: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]  (Read 3291 times)

Aardvark

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #15 on: June 18, 2008, 07:44:23 pm »

Maxwell will say that because of his knowledge in counting he deserves to become the treasurer of this fort.
Well he can lie himself to it hopefully.
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RavingManiac

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #16 on: June 19, 2008, 05:02:07 am »

Ravus:
Proficient animal dissector
Liar
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Thief:"Quiet kitty, Qui-"
Cat:"THIEF! Protect the hoard from the skulking filth!"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.

Jools

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #17 on: June 19, 2008, 09:55:59 am »

Extract from the diary of 'Jools', a dwarf of unknown surname, whose collected journal appears to have been badly damaged by several different fires...

25th Sandstone, 1150

Sweet. I managed to swing a deal that got me out of the Hammerings... that was a total bummer anyway - I mean, wood is meant to burn, even if it is made into some stupid noble's bed. Even if he is in it at the time. I tried to explain this to the fricking stupid sheriff but he just wouldn't lighten up at all.

Anyway, it appears that the Hammerer thinks that instead of just killing people straight off, which just generates more hauling tasks for everyone as they then have to haul the body and every last item of clothing off afterwards, the justice system should allow dwarves to be exiled instead, which means leaving them alive to haul themselves off to some godforsaken spot and build a new home. And probably get eaten by carp, given the success rates of these expeditions - whatever, it means less hauling and blood cleaning in the Hammerer's precious cells area.

Figuring that anything is better than six hammer strikes, I signed up with the first outpost leader to come along. He doesn't look too sharp, so hopefiully I'll get to slack off and spend my time smoking rat weed while everyone else fights the dragons and whatever. Maybe I can even get him to understand about the wood, show him how important it is to let the flames out of it... let them dance and play and sing to us...

7th Timber, 1150

I'm getting to like this leader. We've got an axe, so we can kill the trees... the fire doesn't like to show itself much when they're all alive, but once they're dead and dry, it comes out to play much more easily. Lots of fire, we'll be having, oh yes. And even if there aren't any trees where we're going, we've packed plenty of coal and charcoal and wood. We'll be fine for a while...
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RPharazon

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #18 on: June 19, 2008, 12:33:28 pm »

13th Opal, 1050
After talking to the group for two months or so of wagon-riding, I've created some preliminary psychological profiles. What fun words! I've also decided everyone's jobs, according to their skills and preferences.

Me, 'RPharazon' Oslanod
I'll be a miner and general administrator of the place. I guess my jobs will vary.



'Sleepy' Egomňnul
She seems to be a lazy, lazy dwarf. I'm making her a farmer. They just throw a bunch of seeds on the ground and wait a season. Easy.



'Goob' Imeshdodók
He has experience in pumping, so obviously he has experience in mechanics. Simple, right?



'Newt' Delershigós
He likes talking about fish. It's all he does. I'm making him a fisherman and a farmer. I've heard that you can plant fish!



'Jools' Kuletzareth
He likes wood. He talks about its spirits and other things like that. A bit too elvish in those respects, but he seems pretty knowledgeable. I'm making him a woodcutter and carpenter.



'Luckymoose' Atíríkthag
He seems to like animals. He says he even liberated plenty of them from their earthly bonds! Sounds neat. I'm making him a butcher, leatherworker, tanner, and animal keeper.



'Maxwell' Degëledos
He likes talking. A lot. He also likes to stare at shiny things and to sit around, not doing anything. Either he's comatose, or just crazy. Good candidate to be a noble. I'm making him a miner and gem worker just for the hell of it.



Wait...



He likes to eat bonobos? The ones that constantly have sex?
I'm going to be watching him. Carefully.
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<Zaratustra> DF -is- a complex version of the sims
<Zaratustra> except instead of purchasing new sofas
<Zaratustra> you die

RPharazon

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #19 on: June 19, 2008, 01:57:29 pm »

'RPharazon' Oslanod's log, Spring/Summer 1051

1st Granite, 1051
Finally arrived, after I gave Sleepy the reins of the wagon. We got stuck in a brook, but exactly where our settlement site was supposed to be. Handy.

I quickly assigned everyone a job, and then went over the plans that I had for the fortress while we were on the trip. I expected there to be some cliffs, or at least a hill. To make sure that there weren't any invisible cliffs, I took a quick walk to verify the accuracy of the prospector's map. Apparently, "mountain" means "rocky outcropping". Fucking prospectors.


2nd Granite, 1051
I, along with Maxwell, who seemed a tad reluctant to spoil his beautiful hands with digging, began the construction of an entrance.
The very first thing that we found into was some Sard gems. A good omen?

Maybe, but it did certainly entice Maxwell to dig faster.


5th Granite, 1051
We struck magnetite! Our iron supply is assured!


21st Granite, 1051
After hauling everything to the temporary stockpiles outside, everyone but Maxwell and I just went back to the wagon, still stuck in the middle of the
cold brook. I just don't get them. Newt was muttering something about fish
while sitting in the middle of the water flow.

Maxwell seems to be happy, as shiny things such as iron and gems pop up in the digging every now and then. We have a plentiful supply of sand, for farming and glassworking. Too bad we don't have a plentiful supply of trees, like the prospectors told us there would be.

Fucking prospectors.


25th Granite, 1051
After digging out the farm plot in the sand (how is that even possible, anyways?), Sleepy just threw a bunch of seeds on the ground and slept. This is good, as now we have a plentiful supply of those life-giving Plump Helmets. Sleepy has a plan to harvest cave wheat as well!


2nd Slate, 1051
We finished digging out the space for the food stockpile. Thankfully, the food was only outside for a month or so, and we didn't lose much meat to spoiling. I told Jools about the farm plot, and he asked if we could make a little underground farm with a skylight to harvest some rat weed. I told him I could look into it in the future.


10th Slate, 1051
I fell asleep in a pile of rocks for some reason. Goob tells me that everyone just fell asleep in the middle of their jobs at the same time. Could this be daemonic possession? Maybe. When we all woke up about 10 days later, we found Goob asleep. It was probably just another one of his crazy stories. I'll have to keep an eye on him.


28th Slate, 1051
Jools recommended that I build a wood furnace right next to the wood stockpile, stating that it will make everything more efficient. I agreed, but I don't like that look on his face. Ah well, he knows what he's doing. He WAS a wood burner back in the capital, or at least, I think that's what the Hammerer told me. Before he left, I told him to make seven beds to put in the barracks. We need somewhere to sleep for now. My back still hurts from sleeping on a jagged piece of iron.


15th Felsite, 1051
We finally finished digging out the upper floor, and started to haul the beds to the barracks. Maybe I shouldn't have made the barracks entrance so small. Oh well, the rest of the group can worry about that.


2nd Hematite, 1051
I was having a lovely chat with Maxwell when he suddenly dropped his pick and ran upstairs. I assumed that he was just going to get a drink, but when he came back, he was holding 25 mugs. Although that is handy for when the traders arrive, I do have to question his priorities. Maybe I SHOULD give him that treasurer job.


4th Malachite, 1051
The fortress is finally starting to produce some wealth. Most of the digging is done, but I am worried about the defenses. Goob tells me that he can set up some nasty stone-fall traps to kill any goblins that might invade, but I'm still wondering if even a steel door will hold them back.


18th Malachite, 1051
Raccoon Attack! They stole some of the cloth that wasn't yet hauled inside. A shame, but we can get more from the caravan in autumn. The raccoons seem to be afraid of us, but we're also afraid of them. It's funny because we just run away at the same time that they do.


18th Galena, 1051
We finally finished the main chambers, and the meeting hall. At last, the animals won't be standing in the middle of the brook. I have also completed the plans for a housing complex, strong enough and large enough to support 60 dwarves for the time being. I will have the biggest room, the 6 founders will have slightly smaller rooms, the next 10 immigrants will have medium rooms, and the rest will have normal rooms. Hopefully, I can smooth and engrave them, but I do not know if they will be in a sandy area or not.


28th Galena, 1051
Oh my! It's nearly autumn already! I guess that Maxwell will have to make more of his mugs if we are to get a good return from the caravan that comes in a few weeks! We're also finally beginning to create those traps. We ARE an outpost against the goblins, after all.

But now I realize that I can't make the defenses I wanted to, so everything will have to be constructed, which means that I'll have to do more work.

Fucking prospectors.


-

DFMA Map.
I'll try to get new requests allocated as best as I can, according to the immigrants I get. In the future, if there are any free dwarves, I'll also include them in the name allocation.
« Last Edit: June 19, 2008, 04:38:43 pm by RPharazon »
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Quote
<Zaratustra> DF -is- a complex version of the sims
<Zaratustra> except instead of purchasing new sofas
<Zaratustra> you die

Flar Moonchill

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #20 on: June 20, 2008, 03:40:01 am »

Diary of Newt Delershigós

Early Obsidian 1050; Before Journey

Wheee! We're on our way! Off to bold new lands where a honest dwarf isn't treated like a leper for challenging society's staid views on fish-related social interactions!
Also I've been told Tundras are a fish-friend heaven with mighty Tuna roaming the waters! I. Just. Can't. Wait! Joy!

Late Obsidian 1050; during Journey

Umm I think we've taking a wrong turning the seas over that way! RPharazon is sure we're on track though so maybe we'll loop around any time now! Onwards! To fish and glory!

1st Granite, 1051

Nooooooooo, they lied to me! Shock! Horror! There are no fish! No roaming schools of giant tuna! No sea! Just a brook! No one to talk to! It was all a lie! I want to die!

5th Granite, 1051

Unexpected Joy! RPharazon tells me tiny mini-fish have been spotted at the brook! I'm going to make lots of new friends! Onwards!

Hmmm RP says he wants us to eat the fish! Well Ill interview each one I catch! The nice ones go back in the river and we'll just eat the mean and quite ones!

Joy remains!
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DoctrZombie

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #21 on: June 20, 2008, 07:16:32 am »

Writy-Thing that Goob makes:

-Late Autumn. Goob punched guy that demanded Goob report for militairy duty in the teeth. Goob would rather continue to work muscles at pumping.

-It's winter, Obsidian somthingith. Goob heard dwarf talking about heading south for winter. Goob want to go because it's too cold.

-Goob come to realize there will be no pumps to make muscles big at new home place. This make Goob sad. Goob not worry too much, Leader Dwarf RPharazon say Goob build gear thingies.

-Goob thinks it's summertime now. Someone said Malachite? Goob is going to build trap to drop big heavy rocks on smushy goblin heads. ARRR-HAR HAR HAR. Smushy.
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DoctrZombie has been happy lately. He admired a masterwork poorly drawn webcomic lately.He wrote about a community fortress recently.

RandomRandomUK

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #22 on: June 20, 2008, 11:20:25 am »

I would write an entry in sleepy's diary, but she clearly is too lazy to keep a diary.

Keep up the good work ^_^

Sounds like your prospector was as incompetent as everyone else.
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RPharazon

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #23 on: June 22, 2008, 11:07:20 am »

[RPharazon cancels Community Fortress: Interrupted by Real Life]
[RPharazon cancels Real Life: Interrupted by Team Fortress 2]

Sorry guys. I was really looking forward to this, but I recently bought Team Fortress 2 for the PC (I already had it on the Xbox), and real life interrupted that as well. I have to do another week of exams to be admitted to a school.

Plus I pretty much had no real plans for the fortress. I doubt it would have led to anything interesting. There weren't any killer animals, which seem to be an essential element in interesting fortresses.
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<Zaratustra> DF -is- a complex version of the sims
<Zaratustra> except instead of purchasing new sofas
<Zaratustra> you die

Flar Moonchill

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Re: Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress [Community]
« Reply #24 on: June 22, 2008, 02:58:00 pm »

Boo! Hiss!

No worries matey, GL for the exams  ;)
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