Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[RPharazon]

Gearteeth: The Incompetent Fortress

Journal of "RPharazon"

14th Sandstone, 1050
The King has called a meeting with me. I am honoured by the royal attention, although a bit frightened of what may happen. He usually only calls meetings with the common folk when he wants them to bugger off someplace else. In his already-ailing health, I fear his intentions and my fate.

18th Sandstone, 1050
The King has told me that I am to become the new expedition leader for a settlement that he has demanded in the south. He has ordered me to pick six other dwarves, brave of heart and stout of height, to accompany me in my quest to gain territory and taper the goblin menace of the southern tundra.

The catch is that nobody in the least bit heroic wants to come with me. The miners, the metalsmiths, the craftsmen, even the hunters do not give me their support.

I will have to ask the commoners...

-

You all know the drill. I need six people to join in. You can each have three skills: One with 5 points, another with 3 points, and another with 2 points allotted. No useful skills, such as masonry, mining, wood-cutting, smithing of any sort, farming, etc etc. You can be soapmakers, lyemakers, peasants, or simply useless noble-like conversationists, and anything that I have missed.

Spot-taking will be on a first-come first-serve basis, and I will try to meet your profession requests. Population cap will be somewhere around 50-90, depending on my computer's mood. Screenshots will come every two seasons, or when something interesting happens. Fortress maps every year or two. It'll be a mostly text-based story.

Alright, who's first?

[Jools]

I'll take a dwarf. A Liar (5), Wood Burner (3 - if that doesn't sound too useful) and Herbalist (2), he (or she) is a useless weed-smoking hippy with an occasional fondness for arson. Having been caught trying to burn a noble's bed, he/she was given a choice between a new fortress, four years in the military, or a triple Hammering. This dwarf opted for the one where the chance to take a year-long break (preferably near a supply of rat weed) would be most likely.

[RPharazon]

Right. Five left.
Can't start the fortress until we have five more people, as I don't exactly want to memory edit.

[Aardvark]

I'll have a soapmaker, liar, flaterer

He is a brownnosing soapmaker who tries to become a noble.

Name: Maxwell

[Luckymoose]

Tanner (5), Wrestler (3), Comedian (2)

Thank you sir.

[RPharazon]

Tanner (5), Wrestler (3), Comedian (2)

Thank you sir.

Any particular name other than "Luckymoose"?
Also, would you mind being drafted into the military once we get 20+ dwarves?
I forgot to ask Jools about that as well.

Three spaces left. Looking good!

[RandomRandomUK]

Name: Sleepy
Flatterer (5)
Engraver (3)
Furnace Operator (2)

Sleepy is the laziest dwarf in mountainhomes. She likes to flatter people and use her feminine charms so they leave her alone. She likes carving doodles into the walls and the warmth of furnaces, where she can doze off easily while pretending to do work.

Sleepy will never be conscripted because she wouldn't last 10 seconds without being chucked out.

[Flar Moonchill]

I'm in if you'll have me!

Name: Newt
Fish Dissection (5) Swimming (3) Conversationalist (2)
A trainee apprentice fish gutter who longs to break away from this tradition bound MountainHome and migrate to a bold new fortress when a dwarf is free to sit around and talk to fish, maybe one day plucking up the energy to actually get round to fishing himself. Not bright enough to realise someone lied to him when he was told Tundra is elvish for Tuna-Filled.

PS How the hell do you spell realise? The board thinks its mis-spelled for MS word thinks its fine?

PSS Being conscriptes fine by me, armed with a spear for preferance though :-)

Edited because I'm a moron and just found out half of this post made no sense! 

[RandomRandomUK]

PS How the hell do you spell realise? The board thinks its mis-spelled for MS word thinks its fine?

"Realise" is the English spelling
"Realize" is the American spelling

[DoctrZombie]

Name: Goob
Sex: Any

Pump Operator(5) Cheese Maker(3) Intimidator(2)

Drafting: OK!
Prefered weapon: Mace

[Jools]

Drafting is okay by me - frankly my dwarf isn't exactly enthusiastic about doing anything, so standing around "guarding" things sounds like a good job... especially if there's a good opportunity to slope off and smoke somewhere, or if the thing being guarded happens to be flammable...

Weapon-wise I'll take whatever happens to be available.

[Aardvark]

\Hoping to become a noble, Maxwell will not be drafted unless he is the leader of the group, warhammer would be his weapon of choice

[RPharazon]

19th Sandstone, 1150
I asked my good friend, the Hammerer, if I could take someone off his hands. Although he was reluctant to do so, he told me of Jools. Jools is apparently a dwarf with a love of fire. I can't blame him, but fire does not really belong in a mountainhome. In my world, a good fire would belong in a furnace, or maybe even all over an elven retreat.

21st Sandstone, 1150
As I made my way into the jail cells, I stumbled upon Sleepy, the aptly-named laziest dwarf in the capital. I offered her a chance to come with me, and she accepted, on the condition that I give her little work. I told her that I can agree to that, but I do have a little surprise for her.

23rd Sandstone, 1150
I finally found my way to Jools' cell. He seemed to be happy to go with me in my settlement tasks, although he did start rubbing me quite vigorously in certain places. For both our sakes', I shall assume that was just part of his pyromaniacal tendencies.

30th Sandstone, 1150
I arrived at the commoners' meeting hall and yelled aloud "Who here wants to start a new fortress down south?"

Immediately, 4 hands were raised. I cheerfully accepted their applications, although one struck me as a bit too polite, and another seemed to be mumbling about fish...

Oh well. I'll get to know them on the trip to the new settlement site. I hear that the prospectors say that there's a nice sedimentary layer!

5th Timber, 1050
I requisitioned some supplies for the journey, and the future settlers are happy to help load it up onto the wagon. I got some meat, lots of ale, some seeds, an axe (on the insistence of Jools), some wood (again, because of Jools), bituminous coal, charcoal, and lignite (Jools seems to know what's he's doing), and some dogs and cats.

10th Timber, 1050
Our wagon was just about to leave when the King himself came to see us off. He smiled, comforted us, and then decreed our group's title to be "The Bald Apple of Kings".

Yeah, he's definitely losing it.

[RandomRandomUK]

Nice one! I'm looking forward to seeing what this "surprise" he has in store for sleepy is. 

[Luckymoose]

Luckymoose is fine as a name. Drafting is fine as long as you let me dry pump for a bit first.