Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Kilowatt]

The title says it all, folks!
Post your Stupid/Epic/Gory Deaths here.

NOT epic fails, but stupid moments.

Note: I am trying to remember a few of my own...

[Cthulhu]

Your avatar turns me on.

Aaaaanyway...  Let's see.  There was the time I hit Give in to Starvation instead of Save Game on the best character I had ever played, in full exceptional plate armor with an exceptional two-handed sword, who took goblin lords in melee without a scratch.

[RPharazon]

Had an awesome Legendaryx3 Axedwarf who could clear goblin towers without taking a single scratch.

After defeating a particularly bothersome group of goblins, a Hammer Lord comes and tries to kill me.

He smashes my weapon hand into mush, making me drop my axe. I attack, but he evades, counterattacks, and smashes my head in.

Just like that. A single screen of text and my adventurer dies.

[Nonanonymous]

I once fell into a river with no slopes.  Having nothing better to do, I decided to improve my swimming skill, and pursue the ancient Dwarven Vendetta against the picine.  I took dozens or so of fish out without as much as a scratch, laughing as I caused stingrays to vomit into the water and tiger fish heads to fly about like the playthings of an angry child.  However, I eventually got tired, and my abilities to fight back drained away at that.  As soon as I was weakened, a massive crowd of fish swarmed me, biting me everywhere they could.  I soon gave in to pain, and they proceeded to leisurely tear chunks out of my arms, legs, and occasionally head.  As they repeatedly ripped me apart and spat pieces of my body out, I finally bled to death.

[frostedfire]

I'll have it up on my dfwiki site, mostly it involved my dwarf (who had a head wound) goign up against an ubersadist (aka goblin master lasher).  Thinking "this'll be easy" I charge him, and on his second strike he manages to land a flail into me, and proceeds to try to make fire on my leg.  about 2 pages of Goblin master lasher twists the =-iron flail-= (it was that equivalent symbol) around in your lower right leg I died .

He was nice in a way though, before the pain began he handed me a ball-gag...

[Loctavus]

The flying Iron arrow strikes You in the seventh head!
It is pierced!
You have been stunned!
Your right eye, seventh head has been poked out!
Your left eye, seventh head has been poked out!
Your nose, seventh head has been badly pierced!
Your throat, seventh head has been poked out!
Your neck, seventh head has been pierced!
You shake The Guard around by the right lower leg!
A chunk is torn away!
The Guard hacks at The ogre in the left lower arm with her Iron battle axe!
The shot glances away.
You give in to pain.
You fall over.

There was a bit more of the guard missing me, and another one tusseling with the ogre somewhere else.

The Guard hacks at The ogre in the lower body with her Iron battle axe!
The lower body flies off in a bloody arc!
Udulnastrisp, ogre has been struck down.
The flying Iron arrow strikes You in the right rear leg!
It is pierced!
You regain consciousness.
You bite The Guard in the head!
It is broken!
The Guard's throat has been torn out!
The Guard's neck has been badly torn!
You latch on firmly!
The flying Iron arrow strikes You in the first neck!
The shot glances away.
You give in to pain.
The Guard gives in to pain.
Nemen Aguvturot, Guard has bled to death.
You have bled to death.

I didn't even get to see the git shooting arrows at me.

Oh and playing as a hydra is fun, but you can't open doors! It's not as easy as it sounds. I went through three hydras in 20 minutes, two of them put down by the same pikeman who I never did get revenge on. Those guys are hard. They butcher packs of wolves without a single scratch though. I had fun spitting wolf chunks at harpies afterwards too. The mouths got clogged up with all sorts of chunks.

The first death was a bit silly, I was fighting on the top level of the pub, then a peasant threw me off of it onto the floor below. I think that's what happened, either that or I dodged off of it. The pikeman came in then and took full advantage of my stunned state. Piked me in a brain and had his way for a while until I bled to death.

Second time around I met him in face on combat and missed a few times before getting piked in one of my heads, that put me down long enough to  put his pike through five of my necks and another head. He then decided to twist it about in my tail until I died. The pikeman even boasted about killing my first incarnation before he attacked.

The last battle was just a random guard, I only had him left, I had butchered about four people trying to find that damn archer. EXTRAVISION was no help. Having seven bite attacks was hilarous though. 

[commondragon]

I find a quest to kill my custom megabeast.  I take two drunks and head on down.

after about half an hour of searching, I only have one last staircase...It knocks me out from below.
Apperantly it strangled me to death.

the drunks proceeded to bash one of it's heads in before having their heads bitten off

[Sheezy]

I was clearing out a dwarf fortress, and I think everyones dead
As I am walking out I pass out and a FUCKLOAD of peasants and children start beating the shit out of me.

[RPharazon]

I fought a giant with my drunken companions backing me up, after about 30 minutes of searching a cave.

I ended up losing my axe, and then accidentally attacking one of the drunks.

So now I had a drunk and a giant attacking me, while another drunk is beating the giant to death.
Eventually, we all became exhausted and passed out. I kept blocking blows in my sleep, the other drunk bled to death in his sleep, and the giant finally killed me after 10 minutes of pressing the space bar like a maniac.

Then I came back with another adventurer and killed it in two shots.

[SirPenguin]

At least a dozen of "I just killed 100 goblins, including several masters, now to take on this last crossbowma-"

You have died.

[Cthulhu]

Had an awesome Legendaryx3 Axedwarf who could clear goblin towers without taking a single scratch.

After defeating a particularly bothersome group of goblins, a Hammer Lord comes and tries to kill me.

He smashes my weapon hand into mush, making me drop my axe. I attack, but he evades, counterattacks, and smashes my head in.

Just like that. A single screen of text and my adventurer dies.

That's pretty much every Master Fight.  Half the time I just walk up to him and I"m dead.

[Nonanonymous]

Chalk another kill up to water, my best character so far was walking across some ice when it suddenly melted and plunged me into it, and because I felt I wasn't going to be swimming that often to begin with, I hadn't put any skills into swimming this time.

[Luckk]

I was playing as a hammerdwarf and was told for my first misson to go and kill a sword master.  The first time I get there its day so I decide to stand on the roof toop and throw random junk at goblins and left since I had to many things.  The second time I come back I repeatedly get these messages about the goblins with the goblin master named spideryslaughters getting attack by crusifer spiders with the goblins mainly dieing off except for the master.  After dieing quite a few time and savescumming back I just leave and come back the next day.  He then preceded to punch me to death with another goblin since it broke my shoulder and he dropped it from being stunned by spiders.  Know from looking in legends, I see that I had actually killed his wife who was a guard there.

[Kagus]

Master hammerdwarf who emptied out a goblin settlement on his own walks up to a river.

Brook lamprey attacks hammerdwarf. 

Brooks lamprey misses.

Hammerdwarf counterstrikes.

Hammerdwarf charges forward.

Hammerdwarf drowns.

The End.

[Naarhak]

I was an axedwarf facing off against a goblin swordmaster

We charged at each other (being the only things left living in the tower, well as far as I knew) I chucked a rock that broke his sword arm, so as soon as we were locked in combat the karmic balance kicked me, breakin my axe arm. So me and the goblin are sitting around bashing each other with shields and dismembered limbs (from my collection) until finally the swordmaster dies. I stand up (cheers) and get shot through the head by a nearby crossbowman

NEVER count your chickens before they've hatched!