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[GRead]

Captains log, 1st of slate, 1055

The battle with the Skelephants has raged on for a month now, and yet their numbers show no sign of abating. We have slain a hundred of their herd yet they continue to come in a relentless wave. Our stockpiles groan and creak with the weight of their bones, harvested from the corpses to be crafted into bolts.

Bob has been the only serious injury thus far, though all of us have had some close shaves, including myself. Especially myself, as I lead the charge whenever possible. We are tired and exhausted from the constant battling, and it may be necessary for us to retreat back behind our walls to rest. The enemy draws on a seemingly endless supply of beasts to throw at us, and I fear for our ability to cause appreciable damage, no matter how many we slay.

Could they be drawing their numbers from the netherworld itself? It would account for their ability to heedlessly waste their bones in an effort to tire us, for the bone fields of hell are literally without end.

Here comes another pack; time to set the pen aside and draw sword once more.

As an aside, I must really learn to use a hammer; yesterday was the fifth time I've gotten my blade stuck in one of those beasts.

[Kagira]

"Yeah, I dissect animals, it's really cool, most important job in the fort. Wanna go out sometime?"

"Drop dead!"

*bolt through the neck!*

And we all know how it went from there.

[Jamini]

Wait, when did Dart get hurt? o.0

Ah, found the entry. I must have missed it last time I passed though.

I think Dart may talk to Barbanes and ask for a little wrestling/shield/armor/hammer training when the undead season lets up, so he can defend himself next time the accursed Skelephants get too close.

...

Actually, perhaps all of the non brain-damaged marksdwarves should crosstrain in some melee skills while the current champions are patrolling and fighting the undead menace. That way none of the fools decide that they want to prove they are better than a champion axedwarf in one on one combat when there are not any bolts to use. I mean, it can't hurt can it?

[ April 07, 2008: Message edited by: Jamini ]

[CaptainBlood]

Sweet story GRead!
Since the poor Legendary armorer still has a common name, I'll take him if possible. Why? Because its hilarious.
Name: Elad

"I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!! MY name is ELAD!! ELAD!!! This whole damn time and everyone keeps calling me Erush! I demand to be treated with more respect around here. Stinkin ungrateful sono..." (words trail off as he walks back to the forges)

[Greiger]

Durnit I vanish for a day or two and Bob gets horribly injured!  I blame myself...I wasn't there for him! Bob! WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

Oh wait...just his leg? Whew. Don't need a leg to swing a sword.  It is helpful for getting around though, so I suppose I'll just say he got a paid vacation.

[GRead]

Captains log, 6th of Slate, 1055

I have called off the offensive.

We crested the cliffs again yesterday, having heard the bellowing of a pack the day prior. What we beheld has been hewn into our minds and, as shorthanded as we are, I dare not provoke these beasts further.

They stood below us, screaming their challenge to the cliffs. A full herd, eight elephants, rotten to their very bones. We had killed many like them, but these were different. For one, they were larger. Far larger, they loomed as do the dragons of myth. For another, their tusks were wickedly barbed, branching and snaking unnaturally with cruel blades of bone adorning their surface.

These are no longer mere skeletal elephants; they are something far greater, constructed specifically to combat us.

Despite being well provisioned, we return home tomorrow; I will have to consult with Vabok on the nature of these beasts. She was sent from the mountainhomes to study these creatures and aid us in their defeat. It is time we called upon those services.

Captains log, 7th of slate, 1055

We have returned home today to cheering from the people; they have hailed us heroes, chanting our names as they do the legendary champions of old.

I thought I had left this behind me...

It is not important, however. There are more pressing matters to attend to.

[GRead]

The evening of 7th slate, 1055

Barnabus sat in his office, staring helplessly at the blank sheet of paper in front of him. His efforts to chronicle what they knew of the skelephant menace where going poorly. Perhaps it was merely perfectionism; it is not that he knew nothing, but that everything he knew felt like it was inconsequential. This was bureaucrats work, and he was no bureaucrat.

He barely heard it at first. It sounded like a soft tapping coming from his door. He stopped writing and looked up. The sound slowly increased, until the knocking was a thunderous roar and he had to shout just to be heard.

"Come in!"

Vabok Kolborush, Dungeon Master, strode into the room. Barnabus had not become well acquainted with her yet and was now unsure if he really wanted to. He was astounded by her clothing; or rather, the lack of it. It was not that she was naked; far from it. Rather, she was covered by cloaks. Eleven cloaks covered her body, serving to cover both her upper and lower bodies through shear mass of leather.

"Ah, my captain, I haff heard zat you needed me?" her accent was thick, forcing Barnabus to strain for understanding.

"Uh... yes, yes I do. I need to more about the undead we're fighting."

"Ah, zhe undead. zhey are ancient foes, to be sure. ve haff long ztudied zheir unique material makeup, and zhe energiez zhat infuse zheir bonez. zhey zeem to be born of zhe energiez of departed zpiritz. zis is vhy zhey zo often frequent zhe battlefieldz, and zhe ancient ruinz; zhe force of many deathz zervez az a focuz of zortz, zhat allowz for zhem to form. unlike zhe graveyardz, vhere zhe bodiez are interred already dead. It iz thought zhat zhe proximity of zhe body to zhe zite of death haz an effect, drawing zhe zpirit back."

"Yes yes I know all that already. What we need to know is... why is this place different? Why are they acting as an organized force? and why are they upgrading"

"Upgrading, my Captain?"

"Yes, upgrading; before we returned, we encountered many that had been... enhanced."

"Hrmmm, zhiz iz dizturbing newz indeed. It pointz to a necromancer of zortz, zomething zhat would lead zhem. But I cannot help you furzher. Vith az little az ve know, anyzing ve zay iz uzelezz zpeculation. Perhapz if zhe captain vould zee fit to beztow upon me zhe laboratory zhat I requezted, ve may be able to learn more?"

"What labora..."
Barnabus stopped, and stared at the mass of papers piling up in his office.
"Right, we'll get on that."

"Ah, zhank you my Captain. I vill, of courze, look vith much enthuziazm to undertaking ze dutiez you require of me. If you vill excuse me, howeffer, I vould take me leaffe of you. Zheir iz ztill much to attend to, and zheir iz no zenze in idling."

"yes yes, of course. Good night to you."

Vabok bowed out, eliciting a sigh of relief from Barnabus. He was still unsure if he'd understood half of what the woman had said.

No matter, he thought. Accents don't muck up writing, and that would be enough to get by, right?
He found her memo about a laboratory and cursed to himself.

The writing was barely legible.

[GRead]

Generals records, 19th of slate, 1055

Well, it looks like we've finally been 'blessed' with our own nobility. Dodok, in his *infinite* wisdom, has sent a baron to 'oversee' our 'continued productivity' in the battle against 'the forces of darkness'.

I have also apparently been promoted to the rank of 'General'. I await the grand uniform and gratuitous medals that will be the only difference between the two posts.

The baron himself is a useless fop who seems to think a feathered hat and rapier constitute appropriate battlefield attire. No good can come of his involvement.

I believe I will be commissioning more armour from Erush shortly...

[GRead]

19th of slate, 1055

Kaleem sat in his office, pouring over the fortress' paperwork. With the arrival of the tax collector, his job difficulty had increased tenfold; it was no longer just stocks he was forced to keep track of, but also accounts and balances of every dwarf in the fortress. Silently, he cursed the day that dwarf was born.

There was a polite knock on the door, heralding the arrival of Barnabus. Kaleem had always been grateful that, in a fortress full of people who barged in where-ever they pleased, at least one of them knocked.

Barnabus situated himself across from Kaleem.
"I see you've already met with Doren."
"How ever did you tell?"
"Call it a hunch. Listen, I need to get ahold of a requisition form, we need to commission some more armour from Erush."
"Elad." Kaleem corrected him, glancing up briefly.
Barnabus took a moment to look bewildered. "What?"
"His name isn't Erush, it's Elad"
"What do you mean his name isn't Erush? That's what's in all the papers!"
"Yeah, I know. But he came in here the other day, throwing a huge fit about how his name is really 'Elad'. So now I'm going through all the paperwork correcting it."
"I see. So he's crazy now?"
"Who knows? Could just be an error in the paperwork that got out of hand. But I'd not call him Erush anymore, he seems to take it personally."

Barnabus sighed, a sigh that was beginning to sound all to familiar.

"Fine, I'll need a work order form for *Elad*..."
"No can do Boss."
"Now What"
"Doren's scrapped all our paperwork, we need to switch over to new forms now and she's still drawing them up."
"Fine, I'll just go find Elad and commission them myself."
"We're not sup
"I don't care what we're bloody supposed to do! With this bloody baron around I want more Armour available for the boys, and that means Erush... I mean Elad... needs to smith some more up for us. If Doren has a problem with this she can stuff it where the sun doesn't shine!"

Barnabus stormed out.
Kaleem looked after him, shrugged, and went back to the records. This was, after all, not his problem.

[GRead]

and we're back. Sorry for the delay folks!

Captains log, 21st of Slate, 1055

The Baron is causing a bit of an uproar over what he calls the 'Intolerable Conditions' of the fortress.

He's just unhappy he doesn't have a nice room.
I've tried explaining to him the difficulties in providing royal accommodations on such short notice, but he seems to think I can snap my fingers and make things happen.

I'm concerned about the hammerer he's brought with him; up until now we've managed to exist reasonably well without need for law enforcement. The appointed officials are a bit overzealous on the matter, and now that they have a carnifex to do their bidding things may go downhill fast.

And of course, there is the tax collector. She's only been here a handful of days and already I loathe her. It's bad enough that we're being turned into an economic settlement, but the overhaul she's doing to our infrastructure is intolerable. We've gone from a handful of simple forms which were essentially friendly letters to an immense network of complex documents and reports. Even Kaleem is having trouble keeping up.

I did manage to get a hold of Elad and he banged up some platemail quickly. Amazing how fast he produces pieces of such quality.

Captains Log, 1st of Felsite, 1055

Runesinger has finally completed the blueprints for our architectural revisions; He's widening the entry stairwell to help with the increased traffic to our forges and other subterranean work areas. With the work on the halls plotted out, he has been able to plan accommodations for our recently acquired nobility as well. Wasted effort I say, but we have to make due with what we've been given... they'll make our lives a living hell if we don't give them their palace.

Captains Log, 10th of Felsite, 1055

The recruits' training is going well, though I have to constantly keep the Baron away from them. I'm training them to fight, not fence. We really need to finish those rooms and get this dwarf off our backs.

Captains Log, 1st of Hematite, 1055

At long last, the Barons quarters are completed! His words were: Adequate. Adequate! Bloody ingrate. At least now he can stop his complaining.

Biggs has sentenced Minkot Ematheshtan the gem setter to 51 days in prison for failing to produce her tin items. I'm reconsidering building that prison; this is pretty bloody ridiculous. I've tried talking to her but she won't see reason.

Apparently there is an outstanding warrant on her for an unspecified mandate from the time that fool Asmel was mayor. It doesn't have a punishment specified, but it may come in handy.

[Greiger]

Yay! yer back!  

Is Bob still on his leg-to-bloody-mess induced vacation?  Did undead fish rain from the upper atmosphere yet? Have any gophers done any dramatic turn around and stare into yer soul things yet?

[GRead]

Barnabus' Log, 1st of Malachite, 1055

The Baron complains again that his dwelling is inadequate, so I've set our Artisans to the task of smoothing and engraving his and his wife's chambers.

They are also demanding Iron and Rose Gold items. The Iron should not be a problem. We do not have any Rose Gold, nor the metals to make it; I am not sure how we'll appease this one.

Architectural work has finally begun on the Dungeon Masters laboratory. It is critical that we research our foes further, thus I can no longer delay the project.

The humans have come and gone, we have traded with them as usual. Their caravans are growing larger and larger, yet we have fewer and fewer items to trade them each time they come. We may need to step up trade-goods production. This is Biggs department though, so I will allow her to see to the particulars.
She got re-elected as well, so I guess she's doing a decent job. I try not to pay attention to the civic dailies of the fortress anymore.

I have attempted to diversify our military forces and have chosen to train the veterans in Crossbows. I am concerned they may have taken a few too many knocks to the head, however; After issuance of their weapons and practice ammo, Huarch and Trask proceeded to spar in the barracks, their grasp of 'Crossbow Practice' meaning hammering each other on the head with the butts of the bows.
Meanwhile, the new recruits are advancing nicely. Soon we can issue them practice weapons and train them for real battle.

[GRead]

Barnabus' Log, 1st of limestone, 1055

Summer draws to a close and autumn begins anew, though the weather here rarely changes, so it's kind of hard to tell. We have nearly completed the excavation of Vaboks laboratory space, which is rather massive. It has plenty of room for all necessary facilities, as well as many which are probably not necessary. She seems fairly excited, though I can hardly understand a word she says.

The baron and his wife continue to be troublesome; they constantly mandate the construction of this or that, and we're beginning to run out of materials to meet their demands. I'm not sure what we'll do when the last of it runs out. I've heard tales of rampant nobility, and it appears we've been stuck with some.

We faced the skelephants again, as they strayed near our cliffs and interrupted our activities; the battle was not nearly so decisive as before; we emerged unharmed, yet utterly exhausted, and it was but a single offender. We must be more cautious in the future!

We also had a craftsdwarf claim a workshop and create another artifact.  Olumubas, 'Dispersescreams', a Microcline mug. It is valued at an impressive 64800, though it is decorated with spikes to the point of being unuseable. wonder what was going through that dwarf's head.