Still only in Mid-autumn. BUT! I have a lot of fantastic story for you guys. Plus a question: I can't seem to get the archers to practice at the archery range. They are all standing down, equipped with crossbows and quivers, there are bone and wooden bolts available, and they still don't shoot. I have tried deactivating then activating them, I have tried assigning them unarmed, and then crossbow again. The only thing I can think of is perhaps having them assigned plate mail is preventing them from practicing? I don't know, but I need your help!
Here is some more story for you boys.
Journal Entry for… Today
This child, Urist Idrathkeskal is becoming a problem. It (He or she? I can’t tell.) continues to throw wild parties at the stone garden. It isn’t even of age! I don’t think… I have assigned Snugglebear to do something about it. Shivving is strictly forbidden. Although I cannot see an immediate connection, I am sure these parties are connected to the unexplained rash of kitten births.
In other news, the inmates have been running around calling me “mayor”. I’m not sure why, being as this is a prison. Perhaps something is in the water. I have not been drinking form the general stockpile for a while now.
As if things couldn’t get stranger, Dresdor ran by me naked today. That in itself wasn’t very weird, but this time he was carrying an object which we later found out to be a new artifact. Mengosal Ulinbogsosh, or “Lashsings the Crazed Brigand”, a claystone Cabinet. When asked to describe it, a fellow inmate responded with “This is a Claystone cabinet. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. This object menaces with spikes of Claystone and Lignite. On the item is an image of a turtle shell ring in Lignite”.
Things have been getting a bit weird around here lately, so we will ignore the dwarf’s strangely formulaic description of the artifact. Dresdor put it in the stockpile, but I had one of the inmates replace the cabinet currently in Dresdor’s room with the artifact. He made it after all.
Also, the most bizarre situation has arisen. It seems that some dwarf has taken it upon himself to randomly place statues around the entrance and the highway leading to it. The dwarf’s motivations remain unknown, but despite the posting of several sentries near the scene of the “crime”, if you could call it that, we have as of yet been unable to ascertain the identify of the perpetrator. An inspection of the local masonry workshops has similarly borne no fruit.
Journal entry for 10th Galena, 1053
The child Urist Ldrathkeskal strikes again. I believe his hedonistic lifestyle will negatively influence the prison population, and have ordered his death. Unofficially of course. Despite having thrown several parties at various statue gardens in the area since my judgment, the guards have been unable to locate him.
Also, though hardly worth mentioning, today we break ground for my new “In case of emergency kill all the inmates by flooding their cells” aqueduct. I have explained the tunnel to the miners as a “New source of fresh water for the fortress”. I am going to have to move the guards barracks and Entertainment Center (Darts) to higher ground as to avoid flooding when (if) the system is used.
9th Limestone
Jimmy the Thread continues to elude my spies. No matter how watchful, he is never seen to be doing anything out of the ordinary. The clothiers shop that I have set up is constantly empty, and although cobwebs have not yet formed on the Lathe, I can only suspect they would have if it were not for the kitten epidemic (they seem to like spiders).
10th Limestone
MITTENS!
Damn that Jimmy, DAMN HIM TO HELL! I don’t know how he did it. Hell, I don’t even have proof it was him. But ohhhh, it was him. Ninty Nine pairs of mittens were just found adorning various objects around the fortress. No one was safe. Even the status outside and several kittens were found to be wearing the infernal devices.
When questioned about the source of their newfound mittens, the majority of dwarves seemed shocked, as if noticing them for the first time.
I’m not sure what’s really going on here… but I”ll find out. Oh, I’ll find out. If it’s the last. Thing. I. Do.
15th Limestone, 1053
Dammit!
Let me give you a little context here. I was sitting up on the Sundeck/Fortifications sipping some hard Dwarven Lemonaide when Dresdor, still naked, runs up to me screaming “A caravan from Iton Nicat has arrived but their wagons have bypassed your inaccessible site!”
It seems that the dwarf/dwarf’s/conspiracy that has been placing the statues around our highway has blocked access to the fortress from the outside world. Or at least, from wagons. I have ordered the statue removed, but I cannot guarantee that this problem will not occur again. In fact, I am positive it will.
The statue was wearing mittens.
18th Limestone, 1053
I have awoken to find my room filled with statues. I am currently attempting to climb over them. I am having little luck, and am hoping for some dwarves to notice my absence and form a rescue party.
That’s strange, my hands feel a little warm… (the ink line trails off the page, ripping under what seems to have been a tremendous amount of pressure)
20th Limestone, 1053
I believe I have figured out how the conspirators have been moving about without being noticed. The hallways of most of the fortress is covered in leftover rock from the initial mining that has yet to be moved. It is through these piles of rubble that the perpetrators have dug a network of crawlspaces through which to move. I have not yet found evidence of the existence of such tunnels, and so it is only a theory at this point. However, I have ordered the hallways cleared in any case… just in case.
27th Limestone, 1053
Foiled again. When I approached the trade depot to see what was available for trade. I was looking forward to this transaction, as I had specifically requested some additional tools. Spyglasses, fingerprint dusters, and the like. Also, some rope reed ropes to chain animals too.
However, as I moved into the trade depot, none of my assistants would look at me straight in the eye. What sight greeted me there?There was nothing for trade… but CLOTH! The Dwarf Ambassador insisted that this was what had been on the order forms, and that it had been given to him by a “shady looking dwarf”. Some help that is, in a prison. I took little satisfaction in shiving the man.
Damn you Jimmy, damn you.
I took all of the cloth in exchange for five bins full of mittens that had been removed from the statues. A sweet and sour victory at best.
28th Limestone
Monkeys attacked today. I am surprised they were not wearing mittens. Iden, the mass murderer, quickly dispatched them. AMBUSH! More monkies! Iden was quickly overrun and was forced to retreat to the fortress.
Thankfully, the local Dart Club had been taking their break on the fortifications, and decided that the monkies would make fantastic moving targets. Between them and Shorast, our ranger, the bones of those monkies will make fantastic crafts.
The elf sympathizer was the first to run form the monkies. Figures.
29th Limestone
The Dwarf Liason has recovered from his… accident. I have requested that he bring some dog cages (for added security) and some additional crossbows for the Dart Club. They have put in several requests for higher quality sets.
10th Sandstone
I have not mentioned it in my diaries before, but in conjunction with the other wardens, I have decided to hollow out a large portion of space under our fortress, in case we ever have need to collapse the structure and kill everyone. For whatever reason.
I have written this project off as “Mining for metal ore”, and we have, in fact, found much ore in the process. Its true purpose remains a secret for the inmates.
20th Sandstone, 1053
Through my spies I have gathered a portfolio on Jimmy the Thread. It is as follows:
“’Jimmy the Thread’ Egenkadol has been ecstatic lately. He admired a fine Door lately. He had a pretty decent drink lately. He had a fine drink lately. He ate a wonderful dish lately. He dined in a fantastic dining room recently. He slept without a proper room recently [Note: obviously he has not established proper sleeping quarters wherever his Rebel Loom is] He ate a fine dish lately. He slept uneasily due to noise lately. He admired a fine tastefully arranged Statue lately [Note: I bet he did, that bastard] He has complained of hunger lately. He has been satisfied at work lately.
He is a worshipper of Lushob.
He is a citizen of The Hall of Chaining. He is a member of The Robust Tomb.
‘Jimmy the Thread’ Egenkadol likes Native gold, Silver, Tiger iron, Pig Tail Fabric, rings, piccolos and Sweet pods for their round shape. When possible, he prefers to consume Dwarven wine.
He is slow to anger. He feels strong urges and seeks short-term rewards. He can handle stress. He is often cheerful. He has a fertile imagination. He is not straightforward when dealing with others. He lacks confidence. He is occasionally given to procrastination. He needs alcohol to get through the working day. He does not mind being outdoors, at least for a time.”
Also, I have been informed that he has recently adopted a puppy. He named it Leggings. Surely a play on words.
25th Sandstone, 1053
We have lost our first dwarf today. Bembul Vukcassarvesh, a trapper, was killed by a pack of wolves today while hunting. I have declared his body off limits until we can deal with this new menace.
Datan Sengaban has thrown a party. Munchies will be served.
26th Sandstone, 1053
Five new prisnors arrived today ,guarded by a hunter named “Sniper Johnson”.
Strange name, but he seems a capable individual, even if he is a worshipper of “Ishen Profaneflowers”.
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Now, if you guys are getting REALLY ancy, I can post the save and someone with more time can finish out my turn. But I'll be doing just as much tomorrow - which should finish it up. Plus, how will you ever find out what happens to Jimmy, or whats up with the case of the random statues, if you don't wait?