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[Kazindir]

I fear Raptor may have succumbed to the carp.

Has anyone pm'd him?

[Keldor]

I PM'd him when his turn came up.  So I guess he must have been sucked into quicksand.

Maggarg, you ready for your turn?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Yes, I am indeed ready to mass-slaughter cats at 0.9 fps whilst achieving general incompetence.

EDIT:
The file isn't very uploaded.

[Keldor]

fix'd

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Ok, got it.
I'll start on friday

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Augh, 6 fps.
Never fear, I'll soldier on, just don't expect updates to be very fast.

Diary of Maggarg the Elder
1st granite 1070

Today started badly. Some young ragamuffin woke me up and told me I was in charge.
Again.
I promptly told him to start moppin' and get me a keg of rum. No use
having power if you can't abuse it.
It looks like the young fella who should have taken this year had a nasty accident
somewhere. Pah, in my day, we had REAL accidents. Back in Copperblazes,
I had a whole cave collapse on me , releasing some captive elephants from the elves.
That was back when Elephants were REAL elephants.
I was trampled to death. That didn't stop me from healing up, and by
the evening I was up and about, carousing.
Not like anyone carouses properly now, oh no...

2nd granite
Once again, the cats have bred out of control because that aging animal
trainer and that damn woman have let the little bastards breed because they're
"adorable".
Bah.
I also found a great big sheet of parchment detailing a great big twisty thingy.
It's some kind of sorting device for junk mail. It also sorts our foes, apparently.
These damn youngsters and their high-falutin' mechanics.

3rd granite
I found out we have over 60,000 great big boulders, 20,000 of which have been
used in building things.
I've been signing slaughter orders on magnificent giant cats and various
less magnificent animals. If Endok asks, it was a goblin sabotage mission.
Anyway, I'm still hearing the distinctive wails and crashes of that damnable
music with rocks in, and even music made of metal. Blast it all, I might
have to make a soundproof room for them to do whatever they do to make that sound.

4th granite
There's another cat following me now. It probably makes up for the
one that died under my bed and started rotting. I hate the little things,
but I can't seem to be able to bring myself to throw them to the
colossus. It's as if they're telling me not to.
(we are. long live the telepathic cat empire.)

5th granite
There seem to be a lot of puffed-out dwarves slouching from a room
somewhere to lie down in their rooms. Apparently there's this thing called
Jim where people go to do futile and heavy work. Apparently this improves
their health. It's an elvish idea, of course, we dwarves are not inclined
to do futile work.(Ahahahahah. The irony. Love, the Cats.)

6th granite
Nist Akath yard has changed a lot. The old front desk is now a dining room.
Apparently no-one cares enough about crime to bother reporting it, so
it became a tavern with a sparring room on the side.
Can't say I blame them, we dwarves are a law abiding and honest race.
(Seriously, is he making this up? love, the cats.)

7th granite
Looks like Keldor prettied up the trade depot. Apparently this gleaming
and attractive edifice is representative of the fortress.
I thought the muddy stinking pit we had before did that. I don't like the way
that Jools' weather tower has all that moss and algae running down
the sides. He says it's a feature. Damn nobles, never admitting they're
wrong. Not like me, I really am infallible. Not like folk today, oh no...

8th of granite
Dammit, where are all the levers.
No-one ever tells me where they are, even when I start telling stories
about pulling the wrong lever in the old days. They just go to sleep, which is
amazing, because my stories are riveting.
I don't know why that kaziari hasn't made a central lever room yet, she's the
mechanic. Also I'm not going to because I don't know what they do.

9th granite
That great big waterfall in the abbey is nice. I'm actually kind of happy that
it actually works and hasn't even killed anyone.
Yet.
Someone became a legendary champion and he's in the guard.
Useless.

11th granite
A black handed gibbon has died.
What in the nine hells is a black handed gibbon?

13th granite
Nothing interesting happening, having nap.

14th granite
The elves have arrived. Perhaps this year they'll give us something other
than rope reed cloth. I say give because I don't intend to pay for anything.

15th granite
Apparently our trader has urgent business to attend before he goes to the depot.
He needs a nap. A nap is urgent business these days?
When I was a lad, we wouldn't sleep for months on end until suddenly
conking out in the middle of a job and not waking for months.

[Keldor]

Heh, at least my computer gets 8 fps

Don't you think goblins and other invaders count as junk mail?

Don't be too hard on Goden - she was awake all Moonstone and Obsidian.  About time that she got a little nap.

I'm curious - what happens if you build a dirt road over the muddy areas?  Does that clean up the mud?

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Don't be too hard on Goden - she was awake all Moonstone and Obsidian.  About time that she got a little nap.

When I were a lad, we didn't nap til' we got a day off, and it might have been years before that happened.
Bah, yew young folk.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

16th granite
Goden has found her way to the depot. However, our victims honoured
guests the elves have not.
Useless hippy bastards.

19th granite
I accidentally overslept. This is perfectly alright because I'm old
and therefore can be as hypocritical as I like.
The elves finally dragged their overburdened ponies to the depot, although
they are taking their time unloading, being such pansies. I also made sure
to keep all the bones from my dinners there.
Speaking of leaving stuff in the depot, I found some of my tobacco.
Hence I have locked the doors and am puffing away merrily on a few bowls
of Jolly Sailor.
Oh, someone found a Kobold and mangled it before leaving it there.
Fun stuff.

20th granite
Borrowed about 6500 trollhead's worth of stuff from the elves. Initially they
threatened goden, but after I told them a story about when I was back in 'nam
(Short for some elven place or something) they decided to give it to us.
Anything but another story apparently.

21st granite
The old murderer's lodge is now so overgrown I can barely see it.
I think I'll actually have it taken down and the whole edifice expunged from
the land.
Then I'll dig away all the land underneath it.
Raaaagh.

22nd granite
The nobles want me to make some useless trinkets in exchange for them
not crying like vengeful, fat babies for days. When I was young,
nobles went out and slayed dragons and titans. Then they would come home and
demand petty tribute and have their way with everything.

23rd granite
I had another look at the compiled plans of the fortress. They are stuck
together from bits of older plans with new bits doodled on in crayon.
It's in crayons because that resists the damp, apparently.
This place is an unholy wreck.
A very valuable unholy wreck, worth almost 8 million trollheads.
That's an awful lot of trolls. No wonder there aren't any for miles now.

25th granite
Oh so many slaughter orders. I'm sure cats didn't breed like this when
I was a lad. I'm pretty sure nothing bred like this. They seem to take food from
the air or something.

26th granite
I hope someone tells me how to turn off the waterfall soon. All that water
being forged around by pressure and this gravy tree kaziari keeps going
on about can't be safe.

27th granite
Someone has started butchering cats again, which is wonderful.
I do miss my old ma's cat stews. It was amazing how she could
get such flavour out of a lump of cat.

28th granite
I saw a truly dwarvish dwarf, the like of which I haven't seen for a century.
He was dragging a barrel of rum with him up to Murderer's mount to take down
a wall. He was pissed out of his grizzled skull.
I saluted his dwarvishness, and he belched and swore in return. It's
nice to see old dwarven customs intact.

1st slate
The first floor of that damned lodge is gone, and work is starting below.
I feel much better already. Next I'll drain the Death pond.

[Keldor]

You know, if you take apart the murderer's lodge, he'll have no choice but to join us in the fortress proper...

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

That means I can tell him a story about the old days, when murderers murdered good and proper.
That should put him off.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Agh, I'm afraid I cannot continue.
Abbeyverse crashed more than once when I had it, and now the save is buggered up.
I was running at a mere 4 fps and everything was an unbearable crawl.
Unfortunately I don't have the kind of legendary (read: senile) persistence that Maggarg the Elder does.

[Keldor]

Have you tried the 40d9 version?  I haven't had DF crash except for once since I installed it.  And that includes a whole year of Abbeyverse...

Though if you've lost the save, that's probably a mute point at this point...

[Kazindir]

Doh

Actually, given the clunkiness of Abbeyverse now, it might be an idea for a heroic expedition to be sent out from the fortress on some crackpot idea of the King-Consorts to found another fortress?
Maybe he's decided we need a lot of obsidian for the Abbey roof or something. That would let us keep some sense of continuity whilst hopefully escaping the 4fps player-slaying lagmonster.

Not entirely sure though as this fortress is good fun for all that.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Clunky is not an adequate word.
Perhaps Soviet is. It's about as efficient as the USSR in the late 80's.