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[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

How well would the dwarves of Kulettögum receive a leader obsessed with pretty patterns on floors and over-ambitious building projects?

They'd be grateful that at least he wasn't making them wage war on carp or anything. ;-D

Seriously, I think that the threat from our environment is fairly low these days (words guaranteed to draw a colossus or seven), so go ahead - build anything nuts that you can think of. I do.

In that case, I'd like to take a place in round 3, if possible.
Don't worry, I looked over the map and was strange enough to plan out mosaics.

[Jools]

1st Limestone, 1057

Autumn has arrived. Nothing I've ordered has been done yet. I'm still sleeping on the floor. I suppose I could go and share with the Countess... but no. I might reveal myself as a peasant, and besides, nobles are usually ugly.

2nd Limestone, 1057

I yelled at some random dwarves. I don't even know who they were, but I threatened them with Hammerings if my room wasn't ready soon.

Digging has begun. I'm amazed. Plus the new jail area has been dug out, and all that is left is the installation of some ropes, and Kazindir ought to have enough space to fit all our miscreants.

6th Limestone, 1057

I've cast an eye over the "requests" of my fellow nobles. The Tax Collector wants a bonobo leather item made. He'll be lucky if he gets that. I've still got a floodgate to be made (can't cancel that without breaking my cover). The Countess Consort wants some war hammers, which I'll try and make, and the Countess still demands her damned querns. Other than that, there's not a lot that they want to keep them happy, other than fancier rooms etc. etc. You know nobles.

<Later that day>

I was casting an eye over the folly of a rock salt tower when Kazindir, Captain of the Guard, was passing by. With the excuse of sharing a flask of Longland beer with him, I learned a little about the history of the fort. The main tidbit he let slip were that my relative died in an accident during the inauguration of a Foe Flusher prototype system; it seems that most if not all of the evidence has since been dismantled. I suspect a coverup - of what, I don't know, but it smells very fishy, and that's not just because of the carp blood all over the place.

I also discovered that my late relative was forced to work without a table, but that every Trader and related noble after him had far greater status - tables, Armour stands, Weapon racks, even comfortable beds. I may not like my family, but this sounds like a huge injustice given the later wealth of this fort. I shall have to see about this new trader, dresdor. Is he the architect of my relative's demise? Some poor sap bribed to fill the role and follow orders? Or just someone who stumbled into the role?

I will have answers. My name is "Jools" Crestwork, fourth cousin, twice removed of the estranged wife of a murdered fourth cousin, twice removed's estranged husband, Count Consort of Abbeyverse, Mandater of Floodgates, and I will have my vengeance - in this life or the next. Or at least take the Trader's table, to restore family honour.

9th Limestone, 1057

I'd just finished sorting out some of the construction of my rooms, and re-designated some dwarves from building that tower to smoothing the stone in the rooms of other nobles, when a caravan arrived. Now I'll have to go and work out what junk this fortress sells and hunt down my relative's successor in the post of Trader. Just when things were starting to sort themselves out, it all has to go and get complicated. Now I understand why nobles keep getting upset.

[Kazindir]

The Foe Flusher manual lever is gone then? It was under the trade depot, with the refill one outside that room to the north.

Sounds like some epic and thoroughly unsafe scaffolding is needed! 

[Jools]

The Foe Flusher manual lever is gone then? It was under the trade depot, with the refill one outside that room to the north.

Sounds like some epic and thoroughly unsafe scaffolding is needed! 

It probably still is there... in fact they almost certainly both are. I'll investigate, but there's no harm in building more levers all over the place. Apart from adding to the background level of chaos, which in my humble opinion is never a bad thing.

Also I'll probably take a little time out to test a new and amusing trap to dump our rubbish (ideally the rotten corpses of the last wave of foes) onto whoever comes knocking in a hostile fashion...

[Kazindir]

Oooh, I'd not noticed the "point of interest" thing on the map, very nice. Added one for the Cursed Bridge and one for the Door of Drowning the the latest map.

[Keldor]

Finally added Maggarg to the turn list  >.>

I might have to add a point of interest for Kazindir's bathtub, also known as the moat...  It's a good thing those maintainence hatches were there just inside the gate!

*Keldor rushed into Jools' room.*

"I have it!  The solution for bridging the river!"

Jools looked interested for a second, before he remembered to put on a mask of rage and indignity at being disturbed by a lesser.

"How dare you barge in here unannounced!  I ought to call in the hammerer!"

Keldor's eye narrowed.

"I think you forget how meaningless your title is here.  This fort was built on the sweat and blood of many dwarves.   I know every one of them.  Even in the darkest days, when little more than a pack of dogs protected us from the ravaging alligators, crocodiles, elephants, and carp, we persevered.  I would know.  I was there when the first brick of this place was layed.  If you think you can scare me with your hammerer, you are wrong.  I've not only faced worse, but I've done it with the responsibility of this entire fort on my shoulders."  Keldor's tone softened, "Now, I've come to you since you're the official leader of the fort.  Do you want to hear my idea for the bridge, or should I tell it to Dresdor?"

Jools was taken aback.  Before him stood what appeared no more than a simple farmer, yet with the steely gaze of a hardened millitary commander.

I'll have to be careful with these dwarves, Jools mused, they seem to be as ferocious as the swamp itself!

Taking a breath, Jools replied, "Erm, very well, I shall deign to hear your plan, if only because it would take a week to get your blood cleaned off the engravings."

Keldor didn't look impressed.  "Glad to hear it.  Perhaps you will do better here than our previous count.  He went mad, you know.  Stopped eating, and eventually withered away.  I suppose that the swamp was too much for him."

Jools gulped.  "Um, well, get on with it then."

Keldor nodded and continued, "Very well.  My idea is to built a great arch over the river.  Not only would an arch be stronger than a simple causeway, but its elevation would protect the workers from carp and alligator attacks, since they would be several rods up in the air, well out of reach.  The importance of building a bridge is that afterward, no one will ever have to attempt to take a ferry.  Too many dwarves have lost their lives doing just that..."  Keldor's gaze became distant for a moment, before snapping back to the count consort.  "Anyway, think it over and speak to Dresdor if you think it's a good idea.  If he can't help organize a project like that, then no one can."

Keldor turned and left, leaving a rather disconcerted Jools at his desk.

[Jools]

Cool idea. And it'll show up nicely on 3Dwarf visualiser. I shall do something about it when I find some time... probably not this weekend, as I have a short film to make as well as some programming to do as well as god knows what else... maybe Monday evening.

Every time someone mentions arches I immediately want to try and build a rainbow bridge (ancient Chinese design which approximates an arch out of interlocking straight timbers) but I don't think I can approximate anything like that in DF.

I'm not sure whether to build it outside (and leave a single fortress entrance), inside the outer fortress (and have to trap it as an extra entrance, but still have a second line of defences) or construct it in to the inner fortress (and have to not only trap it but rebuild stuff to route things in via the Foe Flusher, or build a second one/second outlet for it over the new entrance...

Probably in the outer fortress, somewhere near the tower, and then heavily wall, trap and drawbridge the far side of the bridge.

[Kazindir]

How about between the tower and the inner wall? You can replace the stairs and some of the floor of the tower level you are joining to with grates linked up to a lever - with no stairs it won't be an access route to the outside but  you could pile salt on the grates and drop it down when needed, turning the tower into some sort of vast salt silo.


Now, ok, I don;t know why you would need to do this really, but my dwarf senses tell me i would make loading wagons easier, i onyl we had wagons to load with salt.

[Sheb]

I'm sorry, but I'm going on holiday tomorrow for 2-3 weeks, so I won't be able to do my turn....

[Keldor]

Ok, Sheb, if Jools finishes his turn before you get back (>.>) I'll bump you back a slot.

[Jools]

Apologies for the delay, I've been a bit swamped with work recently - part of the weekend had to be spent coding.

Firing up DF now.

N.B. what am I playing to? Spring, as was the original plan? Mid-summer, as when I picked it up? Or just as far as I get before, say, the weekend, when the next player can take it on?

[Jools]

13th Limestone, 1057

It's been a couple of days since Keldor stormed in to my room with his grand bridge ideas. I think that I've left it long enough to not look like I'm actually caring about the project, but it is a great idea - not just linking us with the lands across the river, but acting as a huge draw for trade. Why struggle through a ford filled with carp when you can use our magnificent bridge? Or it will be once we've built it.

However, I had to do something about him storming in to my office. I stomped around yelling for someone to give the impertinent oik a magma bath (knowing full well that we have no magma) and when someone pointed this out, I said that I didn't care if we didn't have any, he was getting a bath because I said so. So a couple of the nearby guards shrugged and chucked him in the pond. Hopefully that'll make him think again before storming in on nobles (even fake ones). The next one might send him off for a *real* magma bath.

Besides, you don't get to be a Legendary Planter without smelling a bit... rural.

I've designated areas of treefelling and plant gathering to clear the area between the Tower and the inner wall. Once that's done we can start on the foundations on this side. We'll also need a temporary route to the other side to begin work there as well - preferably something carp-proof...

14th Limestone, 1057

Today I finally managed to assign myself a bedroom. If I ever find out how Keldor managed to storm into my room before I have one, I could use the knowledge to make a fortune!

I'm sorting myself out a Tomb, Office, and Dining Room as well.

Also, I spotted some miners lounging around, taskless. Now that they've dug out my rooms and some stockpile space, they can go back underground and continue hacking at the bedrock. I'll check back on them later, make sure they follow any veins.

17th Limestone, 1057

I worked out what all our idlers were specifically not doing. Hauling. They all claimed to be Siege Operators or Engineers and far above that sort of work. I pointed out their new work assignments and told them that if the wished to debate this, I would be meeting the Hammerer. They grabbed some rocks and started lugging them about.

I'm really growing to like this noble life.

[Jools]

25th Limestone, 1057

I've banned the export of floodgates. I just felt like it, okay?

27th Limestone, 1057

With the construction of my tomb, most of the noble's requirements are fulfilled. It would help if the engravers were a bit quicker, though, smoothing out all the rough edges. Most of the mandates have been fulfilled, as well. Except the tax collector's demand for something made out of bonobo leather.

Forget him, though. Tax Collectors are only slightly more popular than Hammerers.

28th Limestone, 1057

In order to spruce up my office, and deter Legendary Planters and anyone else who thinks that storming in on nobles is a good idea, I've ordered some traps built - using some Iron Mauls that were lying around. They're one step away from the door, so anyone politely hovering at the edge of the room will be fine, but those who storm in might get a nasty shock.

I'll pad the Mauls with something for the first few months until everyone's found out about them.

1st Sandstone, 1057

Something's killed a milkfish, and the river is running red with blood. Again. That's about the fifth time since I've been here. Who thought that this would be a good place for a fortress?

Oh well. At least it isn't on top of a chasm.

3rd Sandstone, 1057

Now the Countess wants some Nickel items. Do we even have nickel?

dresdor has informed me that we do. One bar. That's neat. I really hope that the Countess doesn't demand anything more in nickel.

4th Sandstone, 1057

A carp has eaten one of our engravers while he was working on the bridge. I think. I have no idea what he was doing blundering about close enough to the river for them to get him.

I'll have his name engraved upon the bridge. It's a tasteless, crass idea that he'd probably have hated, so perfect for one coming from a noble.

I've arranged some meetings with some of the old-timers here, under the guise of learning about the history of this place - but really, there's only one part of it I care about - who was responsible for the drowning of "Jools" Dodokkir. One of them is bound to let something slip.

6th Sandstone, 1057

I've banned the export of crossbows. We make some pretty good ones here, and we've got some nice thick walls - the last thing I want is our excellent bows in the hands of our foes, shooting back at us.

7th Sandstone, 1057

A carp just grabbed a herbalist who was trying to build the Bridge. I really don't know how, he was two floors up at the time. Maybe a wall or seven will help. On the positive side, I yelled at him to fight back, show some spine, pretend he was in the military, and he managed to beat it unconscious and leave it bleeding to death before he drowned.

11th Sandstone, 1057

Our miners have informed me that we have struck Microcline, for about the 15th time. I think they're trying to impress me with their efficiency or something. Anyway, they've got a lot of digging left to do on the bottom level.

15th Sandstone, 1057

We have struck Orthoclase. I informed the miner who came running to tell me this that if we found any more pretty coloured but economically and militarily worthless rocks, the next thing struck would be all of the miners, by a large hammer.

[Jools]

20th Sandstone, 1057

Our Philosopher is altering the price of plant fibre cloth. God knows why. Maybe it'll help him find out whether a rock makes a sound if it falls in the quarry, but there's no-one around to hear it.

23rd Sandstone, 1057

I found out who was responsible for the death of my relative. dresdor. Before taking the place of "Jools" Dodokkir, he built a giant reservoir. Which leaked, flooding the fortress. Everyone I've spoken to claims it was a complete accident, and couldn't have been deliberately targetted, but... I still want vengeance. For such sloppy construction, and violation of building rules! Have these dwarves never heard of Health and Safety? Do I have to give them all a crash course in the 14 ways to assess a situation before moving a single rock? Have they even seen a checklist to complete before moving a heavy item, or heard of *lawyers*?

That's it. I'm MAD. I'm smashing stuff up.

OOC: My dwarf is tantrumming. Maybe I should pretty up my bedroom a bit.

1st Timber, 1057

The carp have claimed another victim. A Peasant, this time. I hope Keldor is right about this bridge, it seems to be costing many lives to create.

2nd Timber, 1057

I've calmed down a bit now. But still... I'm not happy. Things must change. Primarily my room. It needs to be... smoother. And more decorated. In revenge for the death of my realtive, I'm taking dresdor's table away... I've heard that he's got a nice table as a result of his work...

3rd Timber, 1057

Turns out it was a Gneiss table. Whatever, it's now going in my room.

6th Timber, 1057

A Planter has been possessed. Damn. Why couldn't he have had a fey mood instead? Regardless, he's claimed a Bowyer's workshop. Hopefully this means some lethal crossbow we can use for shooting... dresdor.

Hang on. Our possessed Planter seems to be wounded. His left lung is bleeding. I hope he lives to finish the artifact...

11th Timber, 1057

Our Planter has begun construction. He's got enough crap to build things with... three lumps of rock salt, one block of salt, three types of wooden logs, some gems, bones and cloth. It had better be a damn good crossbow.

15th Timber, 1057

"Groupskewers". Sounds like a scattergun to me, but it looks like a single-shot crossbow. It's got crap encrusted all over it... all about dwarves travelling, or trading. Why can't it be of something more inspiring, like dwarves striking down dragons or goblins burning or something?

In other news, our shiny new arched bridge is half done. And already vomit-spattered. At least it's way above the river, so there's no blood on it. Yet.

17th Timber, 1057

Our miners struck Orthoclase. I was going to strike my miners, but fortunately the one who came to report it ran smack bang into one of my traps. What remarkable foresight.

I'm unpadding them now. The miners have been warned.

24th Timber, 1057

I've decided to spruce up my rooms a little with some more statues and so on, and one of those fancy corner-style desks. Given that it'll be approximately two years before the engravers get round to smoothing my room, never mind decorating it, I thought it a good idea to surround myself with some of the trappings of wealth.

I've not taken the artifact statue, though. I'm tempted to dump that in one of the Countess' rooms, to keep her quiet, but to be honest I'd rather it was somewhere where everyone can enjoy it. I might start a new statue garden or something... or maybe put it on the bridge...

[Zerox]

What would you guys say if I were planning too become the bane of bloodline fortresses everywhere, but you'd be my first target?

We're talking me being seriously BatSh!t crazy in any way, shape or form. Just to make it a little more "Challenging"?

P.S:I can run a fortress just fine anyway,though.