The vile force of darkness was well on its way to their target. Snodub surveyed his forces as they marched through the forest. Fifteen archers, all armed with the finest in iron arrow technology, wearing matching green leather uniforms. They were lightly seasoned troops, all distinguished by, if not their bravery or intelligence, at least some small degree of strength or resilience. By night, the fortress would be his.
Ahead, a shadow in the forest almost concealed a structure. They hadn't travelled far enough yet for it to be their destination, but caution suggested it was a lookout. He gestured for one of his archers to investigate.
Osnun snuck a little closer, climbing onto a shrub to get a better view over the walls. He returned visibly shaken.
"It-it's horrible. Just looking... I don't think we're going to survive this one."
"What? What did you see?!"
"An extemely thick set of wallls, hastily built. I can tell that this isn't typical dwarf work. They're using live trees to seal them together."
"That's unusual. What's the threat?"
"There's a... beast... at the center of the structure. Somehow our enemies have managed to contain its immense strength with a single rope. It's one of those collosal monstrosities that the humans created with their secret arts."
"If it's tied up and such a big target, it shouldn't be much of a problem. I'll stand off to the side and stab it with my pike until it isn't one. Unless you want to try to reclaim some of your family's honor?"
"Are you kidding? I'm not going anywhere near that thing. The walls are close enough that you'd be right in its range! I hear that dwarves attach razor-sharp shoes onto them! Take your arm clean off! And those teeth! Those hideous teeth! "
"That's just a rumor. I doubt those so-called "war horses" exist. Besides, if it was so dangerous, how could they put it out there?"
"I don't know! But if it wasn't dangerous, why is there a door in the side sealed shut with a sign that says 'forbidden on punishment of death'."
"Wait... if it's surrounded on all sides, how can you see it?"
"There are arrow slits all over the thing. It's fortified like a small castle!"
"You idiots! You have bows! Why don't you just shoot the damned thing?"
"Don't you think we thought of that. It's obviously dangerous, so why would the dwarves just tie it up and leave it exposed to arrows? The answer is obvious!"
"Dwarves are stupid?"
"No! Well... Yes! But that's not my point."
"What *is* your point?"
"There's only one reason to keep an animal tied up with clear line-of-sight to everything around it in the middle of the forest!"
"Oh?"
"It's obvious. It must have fire breath. Get too close, and it'll light up the whole forest. The trees and the rope will burn away in an instant, and the searing flames will roil over us, consuming our clothing and flesh alike. The smoke will block out the sun as the earth burns! Brands of flame will flash over us in an instant, boiling away our eyes! The agony will be unbearable as our skin is stripped from our flesh, charring us to the bone! Grass will scorch away in an instant, leaving the ground a jagged wasteland, where every step of our bleeding feet will be unbearable agony!
The unlucky ones that survive the raging inferno will face death incarnate at the hands of that monster! The unbridled beast will gorge itself on our flesh, bearing down on us with the burning-white anger of ten thousand suns! Urging our ruined bodies to flee will accomplish nothing as it runs us down one by one, razored shoes gleaming as they tear through our scorched flesh, slicing clear to the bone! Torturing us to death! Trampling the bloodly earth! Our screams of pain will merge with the whinnying! The awful whinnying! I can hear it now! AAUGAGAH!!"
His army routed from fear of the horrors they faced, and the siege broken, Snodub Shadowprofane turned to the mountain and shook his fist at it, shouting a threat before rejoining his demotivated army. "You haven't seen the last of me! I will return with a far grander army, deadlier magics, and a beast even this monstrous foe will fear! I shall search the rivers of the underworld, the lakes of blood, the haunted oceans from shore to shore! I will consult with demons, wizards, and the greatest of the beast men! The challenge may consume centuries of my immortal life, but in the end, I will be victorious, as I return to destroy you all with my army of war carp!"
The echo of this rant, through a quirk of acoustics eventually reached the count, who was admiring the amazing grate set into his floor. Taking decisive action, he immediately banned export of Billion items.
-So, yeah. Turns out that pathing for goblin sieges needs a bit of work. I got 15 bowgoblins and their pikegoblin leader as my first siege, and they just milled around, trying to keep their distance from the extremely dangerous horse sentry I set out for ambushes.
[ May 12, 2008: Message edited by: Qmarx ]
[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: Qmarx ]
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Topic: The most terrible beast (Read 1468 times)