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[Istrian]

My, there's a bit of a problem there. Dwarves (and only dwarves) are trying to get to !!items!! on a map which consists mostly of chasms. Which in turn means : MASSIVE LAG and PATHFINDING ERRORS. All players who have a dwarf lose a turn of play PER DWARF they own.

My lawyers point out a rule already invoked by Jamini from the Panshiem rulebook they haven't noticed before. All non-whole fractionals are rounded to the closest whole number. Therefore 1/32nd of a dwarf equals to 0 dwarf. But thanks for the massive nonexisant sacrifice anyway, Dwarfaholic.

Oh and it is indeed a very aggressive rule application to terraform the whole play terrain by way of rule instead of by way of spell/doomsday device/sacrifice/natural disaster. Denying terraforming is also aggresive use rule use, as it would result in a de-terraformation of the terrain which is a form of terraformation through aggressive rule use.

This still doesn't count as a turn as it was only a rule clarification, therefore my lawyers are still 10 in number.

[GeneralValter]

Dwarfaholic, I'm invoking rule F(64:KL). Your dwarves get thirsty watching everything burn and decide to grab some booze. A nearby !!Marksdwarf!! wanders over to help and your dwarves get booze-bombed.

[Asheron]

I warp my camels to Z1, giving me another giant cave spider and ten kegs of beer. I add the beer to the !!Heap of Beer!! and summon my hoplites. I place them around the !!Heap of Beer!!, protecting it from any players. In the case the !!Heap of Beer!! explodes, I can use the "Flying Debris" rule, which gives me the ability to roll 1d10 for every hoplite to see if their flying spears hit anything.
Also, I reverse warp the groundhogs ten miles above the ground, rendering them useless to anyone.

[Duke 2.0]

Yes! I have reached the surface! Now my fortress can fina-

-oh no...
*Roll dice*
Please no...
*Rolls five dice*

CRAP!

All of my dwarves canceled what they did because of groundhogs. Where the hell are these groundhogs?

Curse you Asheron!

[Jamini]

Istarian, you forgot the falling rule listed in chapter 55 section 4.33.2. Where newly recruited and granted units are automatically placed on the board regarldess of corprality. Under the Retcon collary, your lawers have fallen into the chasm and are now dead, and you are penalized to lose .49 of a turn. (rounded to 0).

Now, I use this turn to activate the Kirby rule, which originates from the 0.22.123.24d ruleset and is still current. It states that all players with hats who lose a unit automatically gain five points and the option to memory hack any one tile on the field. I do so to create a floor tile directly in the center of the map.

[Snugglebear]

I feel obliged to point out, Dwarfaholic, that technically speaking the Hammerer is a goblin (owing to snatching) despite actually being a dwarf.  I'm not disputing your posession of him, just clarifying, here.  He is also inherently engaged in "Being an asshole" due to his status as a noble, which does appear to have been pointed out obliquely.

Regardless, I'm placing a Human Diplomat with the nearsighted trait into play.  Currently he is attempting to find the leader of Duke's fortress, but having extreme difficulty due to myopia.

[Jack A T]

I sneak in to the game using 5 ambusher goblins, 1 goblin miner, and 4 cats.

By rule 32A of the Pantshelm Ruleset, also known as Jack's Rule, my 4 cats, being 2 breeding pairs, automatically cause a catsplosion, eating all of your FPS.  All players lose 62 FPS.  I gain 123 cats.

My miner, at the same time, digs into the area (no z-level change), and, by rule 88D of the HFS Incursion section of the Pantshelm ruleset, finds a pit of HFS.

[Duke 2.0]

Thanks to my founding of a fortress, I gain 50,000 wealth from the uncovering of HFS AND migrants.

I wonder wha-
*Dice roll*

*Sigh* A mandate for the construction of Adamantine thongs...

[Jack A T]

quote:Originally posted by Duke 2.0:
<STRONG>Thanks to my founding of a fortress, I gain 50,000 wealth from the uncovering of HFS AND migrants.

I wonder wha-
*Dice roll*

*Sigh* A mandate for the construction of Adamantine thongs...</STRONG>

By rule 1A of the Pantshelm ruleset, I bring in the Jack ruleset, which supports me in all rules.  By rule 53X of the Jack ruleset, the player known as Jack A T may take an extra turn whenever Adamantine thongs are mandated.

I take my extra turn by having my miner convert the HFS to my cause (Rule CX82I1, Jack ruleset), allowing me to choose three new creatures to add to my group.  I choose an animated statue, a head on a foot, and a bronze colossus. Because of that, I can use rule 1c of the Jack ruleset to get a pair of bags of Goldenleaf dye, a barrel of Dwarven wine, an axe, and 2 more goblins.  All my guys hide in the HFS pit.

[Asheron]

Since my camels on Z1 are threatened by those cats, I use the "Impotent Enemies" rule, which forces EVERYONE to listen to the music  coming out of the reversal portal.
Then, I use the "Power of Camels" rule on page 942, which allows me to cast a magic missile on anything that is currently on the field. I use it to kill eight lawyers of Istrian. Take that, justice!

[Istrian]

You cannot invoke the Law of Gravity against Lawyers.
...
Oh, you can.

Lawyer has fallen into a deep chasm x10

On their way down they sue the Chasm tiles for homicide. While the trial is not finished chasm tiles are forbidden from working. For now all creatures can walk on chasm tiles (except those who already fell into it) and chasms will not spawn creatures.

I place 5 skeletal elephants into play outside of the fortress, as rules 0.22.123.23a are still valid, I've got the most powerful creatures out there. They start SEEK AND DESTROY mode.

[Jack A T]

By rule 24Z of the Jack Ruleset, I take an extra turn.  I use that turn to have my bronze colossus squash Istrian's 5 skeletal elephants.  By rule 987989501j of the Jack ruleset, I gain 1 of Istrian's troops, selected by Istrian.

[Istrian]

Since falling into a chasm is only a conditionnal transition (as stated in Conditionnal Transitions p.942-1055), my lawyers still count as troops. Therefore I give Jack one of my Chasmed Lawyers.

[Jack A T]

By rule 5w in the Jack ruleset, that gives me another extra turn. (Most of the rules in the Jack ruleset have to do with giving me extra turns)  I use rule 42a of the Jack ruleset to teleport my lawyer into my HFS pit.  By teleporting a lawyer into a HFS pit, I invoke rule 23h of the Jack ruleset, which gives all players a free mason's workshop each.

[Snugglebear]

quote:Originally posted by Jack A T:
<STRONG>By rule 5w in the Jack ruleset, that gives me another extra turn. (Most of the rules in the Jack ruleset have to do with giving me extra turns)  I use rule 42a of the Jack ruleset to teleport my lawyer into my HFS pit.  By teleporting a lawyer into a HFS pit, I invoke rule 23h of the Jack ruleset, which gives all players a free mason's workshop each.</STRONG>

Thanks! I should warn you, though, that invocation of eponymous rule sets is a hammering-worthy offense.  I wouldn't keep it up much longer; the one Dwarfaholic is controlling might get cranky.