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[Jamini]

It's official, the Urist Conditional Ruleset is in place according to the gamemaster. Thearfore the Urist and Bomrek dwarves are not placed and my turn can only be resolved with the taict agreement to my first statement under a Potshied Fiat.

However, due to the object of my conditional dying of old age at the beginning of my turn my conditional is partially made void (curse me for not looking at the book more carefully!). In accordance with the Pantshelm ruleset section -a2 my partial voidance has halved the number of agreements that I require in order to have the remaining cat (female) destroyed. In the rule of rounding found in the Panshiem ruleset section 1, subset 17 all non-whole fractionals must be converted to the nearest whole number, meaning that I need 1 other player to agree with my statement.

In accordance with the Urist Conditional Ruleset section "C.A.T.5." actions and statements that concur with my suggestions are to be counted as votes in my favor. (Traditionally this rule is used when voting in a new Dunce. With the rule itself only counting for voting oneself. However the wording is vague enough for it to be used in this circuimstance) Thusly, I find that Armok and Bricktop are voting in my favor for acting and stating agaisnt cats. Granting me the position of Arbitor and my goblin high priest. Doubling my required total, I also recive a Wizard's hat which is protect from molestation or altration by any player (but unfortunatly, does not extend it's abilities down to the owner of the hat).

On the Wizard's hat, all I have found on it are that it causes the possessor to dissappear in a gross of turns. Effectivly removed from play for this and the next Tacticus game. However, it's also stated that the Wizard's hat has never sucessfully been used in such a capacity previously.

[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: Jamini ]

[Haven]

Alright, so I'll be joining using the 'Noob Gank' ruleset, as laid out on the theoretical rules tablecloth on page 8,937.93. This entitles me to some free item tokens, an element card, and a free colectable skeletal carp figurene.

So, I'll get some sock tokens and a Lava card, and use the lava card on the sock tokens, turning them into !!sock!! tokens. I'll then place the socks on the opposite side of the lava-doomed castle relative to the dwarves currently in play. Now, according to rule -55,382, all dwarves must travel to and carry any clothing token put into play, and persuant to rule ¥.ƒ, dwarves must always take the most hazardous route possible while in pursuit of clothing items. So hopefuly enough dwarves will try to invade the lava doomed fort to net me some serious kill points to use on upgrading my fortress to 'theoretical' status. Maybe even to 'semi-existent'.

(Note to self... I had to write this message five times, due to the computer finding fun and interesting button combinations to send me to some random favorites site and wiping my post. Also my clipboard. Then my post didn't go through, so I ended up copy pasting a chunk of it to try and find where it DID go. After not finding it, I would have been utterly finished if not for having the foresight to save it on a notepad document. Write out post in a word processor first, then copy/paste.)

EDIT: Wait, that might not affect the berzerker... Crud. I throw the figurine at it, persuant to addendium section 'Frustration maneuvers'.

[ May 12, 2008: Message edited by: Haven ]

[Dwarfaholic]

Aww, man. We're using the Urist ruleset?
Well, anyways, since I was the last one to post in the previous Tacticus thread (AND achieved total domination and founded an Orwellian society), I automatically gain extra points to use on my first round.
I summon one (1) Force_of_Darkness, which forms a circle, and three pairs of !!Rope reed pants!!, which are placed inside the circle.

All dwarves in play and their pets must now take a 3D6 move towards my horde, except if they are:

- Military dwarves. They immediately either
* Take a Break (No actions for D3 turns)
* Sleep (No actions, 2D6)
* Drink/ Eat (No actions, D6)
* Start Being an Asshole (No actions, ever)

- Already Taking a Break, Sleeping, or any other action-preveting condition.

- Dead.

[Devath]

I place seventeen named skeletal harpies in space ET 51. By the 5th editon rules, article 4, section 47b, the presence of more than 11 named undead on the board at one time causes cave adaptation for all creatures exposed to lightat the time this became true, or at any time in which the number of named undead changes without causing the number of named undead to be less than 11.

Additionally, I place ten !!Booze Barrels!! in a pentagram around a berserk chimpanzee and two mating flesh behemoths in sector Z 84^5, under artificial sunlight.

[PTTG??]

I re-instate the horizontal alignment subsection from Tacticus Ruleset Vs. 0.22.123.23a, therefore if anyone contacts the right side of the board (as determined from the most popular player's point of view) to strike Adamantium and/or die. Meanwhile, I also place 3 Jap. Schoolgirl tokens in the center of the field to distract any Tentacle Demons that might appear from harming my Elf Blowgunner Squad.

The turn then passes to the player with the longest signature due to Forum Metagame Rules Section 2.

[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: PTTG?? ]

[Dwarfaholic]

Ha! You forget, that since I now am in possession of Snugglebears Hammerer, who continuously mandates Silk Ropes, I can order a Hammering on any dwarf or animal on the board, once a turn.

My first Hammering is on the Carp overlords.

*Roll*

Ha! 16, and the brains of the carp are splattered over the fortress walls.

At this point, I understand some people may not comprehend why I could kill all the carp in one turn. But, you see, carp act as one. THEY ARE ONE. Thus, they are hammered as one.

Anyways, with the carp dead, I take control of Duke's fortress, and immediately ban exporting of red spinel items.
I am also aware that the fortress has magma.

[Devath]

So, I have the turn again... mwahaha. Due to the absence of carp from the board, I invoke rule 176.45.689.1.3a, from the 2nd edition corollary "NON-Dwarven Ingeniuity", in which, if the game board is devoid of carp in any way, forty-seven *microcline togas* spawn at tile S15-63.A.

Using the points I earn from rule 67b of article TSK in the limited edition addendum to the 30th edition handbook, I place 14 rabid eels in the left nostril of sector 45C. (The details of aforementioned rule are too staggeringly long to list here.)

Furthermore, I move three skeletal harpies in the direction of the still-incomplete flaming puppy turrets.

[Istrian]

Since Tacticus Ruleset Vs. 0.22.123.23a, horizontal alignment subsection has been instated, it means that only one z-level can be in play. Which means that we have to roll a 20-sided dice to determine which z-level is now counted as the area of play.

*Rolls d20 dice*

Oh, luckily all dices have only positive scores, which means...

*Rolls a 10*

So now the level in play is z-level 10 above-ground. Which turns out to be a mostly sky level. Which in turn (since 'sky' did not exist in ruleset 0.22.123.23a) transforms into chasm tiles. All dwarves and items not currently on ground tiles "fall down a deep chasm". Duke's fortress is compressed to fit in. Therefore Dwarfaholic is now the owner of Dwarves the size 1/32nd of a standard dwarf.

Since I aggresively applied all invoked laws and rules, under the Aggressive Enforcment of Rules and Laws (still ruleset 0.22.123.23a) I get 10 free lawyers. They protect me and my belongings from all aggressive rule application. Unfortunately they also take half of my belongings (including the lawyers themselves) each turn, unless someone tried to apply an aggressive rule against me (in which case they take HIS belongings instead).

[Devath]

The horizontal alignment subsection from Tacticus Ruleset Vs. 0.22.123.23a subreferences another section, section 89C.45E of the Professional's Guide to Tacticus, in which the z-levels are reference one at a time, but not limited to one, thus invalidating the former statement due to misreading of ruleset. Also, this causes all interaction between z-levels to take an extra turn.

[Istrian]

quote: quoting section 89C.45E of the Professional's Guide to Tacticus

It hath been denied for the possibility of simulataneous existence of multiple levelth in on single undividable world. It is however possible for multiple levelth to be referenced yet they cannot and will not be run at the same time under the same game of TACTICUS. Interaction between levelth shall only be limited to caseth where the infamous INFLATE ERROR -3 can be avoided.

I'm afraid but my use of the rules is valid. However one of my lawyers just pointed out a spelling mistake in the form you submitted to the court.

 

quote: quoting Devath :

in which z-levels are reference one at a time

Which means that your appeal is invalidated and you lose half of your belongings to my lawyers for aggressive use of Rules and Laws against me.

EDIT : And before anyone says anything, I'm not acting out of turn since the work of fumbling through manuals, appealing to courts and confiscating belongings was done by my lawyers without any prior consultation with me (indeed Lawyers are listed as Autonomous Units just like Berzerkers, Moody Dwarves, etc.

[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: Istrian ]

[Kagus]

I bring beer and chips to the table, and then wander off to play some Dwarf Fortress.

[Dwarfaholic]

quote:Originally posted by Devath:
<STRONG>So, I have the turn again... mwahaha. Due to the absence of carp from the board, I invoke rule 176.45.689.1.3a, from the 2nd edition corollary "NON-Dwarven Ingeniuity", in which, if the game board is devoid of carp in any way, forty-seven *microcline togas* spawn at tile S15-63.A.</STRONG>

What luck! My goblins horde, with their !!Rope reed pants!! Just happen to be at S-15. I gain possession of the togas, and set them on fire to further increase the power of my dwarf-bait.

 

quote:Originally posted by Devath:
<STRONG>Using the points I earn from rule 67b of article TSK in the limited edition addendum to the 30th edition handbook, I place 14 rabid eels in the left nostril of sector 45C. (The details of aforementioned rule are too staggeringly long to list here.)

Furthermore, I move three skeletal harpies in the direction of the still-incomplete flaming puppy turrets.</STRONG>

But, you see, your dwarves cannot complete the turrets, as they are moving to claim the !!Rope reed pants!! Within my Horde. Even your eels cannot help you now!

 

quote:Originally posted by Istrian:
<STRONG>Since Tacticus Ruleset Vs. 0.22.123.23a, horizontal alignment subsection has been instated, it means that only one z-level can be in play. Which means that we have to roll a 20-sided dice to determine which z-level is now counted as the area of play.

*Rolls d20 dice*

Oh, luckily all dices have only positive scores, which means...

*Rolls a 10*

So now the level in play is z-level 10 above-ground. Which turns out to be a mostly sky level. Which in turn (since 'sky' did not exist in ruleset 0.22.123.23a) transforms into chasm tiles. All dwarves and items not currently on ground tiles "fall down a deep chasm". Duke's fortress is compressed to fit in. Therefore Dwarfaholic is now the owner of Dwarves the size 1/32nd of a standard dwarf.

Since I aggresively applied all invoked laws and rules, under the Aggressive Enforcment of Rules and Laws (still ruleset 0.22.123.23a) I get 10 free lawyers. They protect me and my belongings from all aggressive rule application. Unfortunately they also take half of my belongings (including the lawyers themselves) each turn, unless someone tried to apply an aggressive rule against me (in which case they take HIS belongings instead).</STRONG>

Ah. Well played, indeed. However, you forget one thing.
First, I wish to point out that this is no aggressive rule application. Your lawyers cannot do anything.

My dwarves, being only portion of their original sizes, can now produce mini-forges and toy anvils with no problems at all. This gives me a wide array of powers, ranging from "Santa's elves- mode" to "Can fulfill annoying mandates".
The latter of these powers I can use to cull the thirst of my Hammerer, yet I elect not to do so. Why? Because my execution power is an extremely valuable bargaining item.
Now, who's up for paying for protection?

[ May 13, 2008: Message edited by: Dwarfaholic ]

[Asheron]

I'll join in, using the Reversed Reversal Ruleset which entitles me seven zombie camels and a reversal portal. I teleport my camels with the reversal portal, reversing them to E8. Using rule 212 in section D, everytime I warp my camels, I can add a giant cave spider and ten kegs of beer to the table IF there is no other portal on the field.
Also, I use the Reversal technique on page 358 which reverses any attacks on my camels and giant cave spider. If you attack me, me attacks you instead.
And finally, I use the kegs of beer to recreate the battle of thermopylae, which gives me the ability to summon a squad of hoplites the next turn, following the "Famous Battle Rule" on page 888, second sentence.

[Dwarfaholic]

A-ha! Victory is mine!
As there is both booze and !!Items!! in the game, I activate rule 228b, "Boatmurdered strikes back", forcing ALL creatures not on my side to trek through the !!Rope reed pants!! and into the booze stockpile, where they will pick fights. My creatures, however, are undisturbed, as they are goblins and a Noble, who we all know isn't worth calling living.
My only sacrifice is my 1/32 size dwarves, but meh, sacrifices must be made for victory.

Beat that, !!People!!.

[Duke 2.0]

Great, my fortress isn't doomed!

Now, to roll for a chasm...
*Dice roll*
Huh, right next to the lava-lake. I suppose if I start tapping into my minerdwarves to make a channel...
*Rulebook shuffle*
Okay, so apparently this counts as a megaproject, and thus grants my fortress 237,000,000 monies, 50 unskilled immigrants and a kobold siege that reduces the immigration wave by 20. I can live with that.

Well, so long as I have mag-wait, it's refilling. It's a magma tube? How the hell am I under a magma tube?! Ga-
What the heck? "Vile forces of darkness have come"?
It's just a buncha groundhogs... In steel groundhog armor?!

That can't even happen in the game!

Oh wait, whats this?

 

quote: RULES OF TACTICUS!
ver. 2.36.9.8.1n blue edition
Modders version
For all of your impossible fortress needs!

That would TOTALLY explain the plump helmet anvil I got.